Poor pussy

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Colin, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly, who said to no one in particular "Gosh... if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him." There was a bear on the shore thinking "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him." It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh" he thought "if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I can shoot the bear and then I'll have a proper lunch." You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there was more............ A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking "Gosh... if that, fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish... the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich." A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, "Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly...and that bear grabs for that fish...and that hunter shoots that bear... and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich... then I can have mouse for lunch." Well, the poor fly is finally so hot and dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water... The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear... The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse... The mouse ducks... The cat falls into the water and drowns. The moral of the story is.... Whenever a fly goes down three inches... Some pussy is probably in danger.
     
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  2. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    *Must..... resist..... the..... urge....... Must..... resist..... the..... urge........*

    Nope, gonna have to pos rep that.

    *Sobs at her own weakness to resist temptation*
     
  3. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    Never resist the urge Cali, as this tale demonstrates:

    There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again.

    Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again.

    Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.

    The hottest girl said ,”If you fix our car we will do anything you want.” The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished the three girls asked,”How could we ever repay you Mr.” After thinking for a short while he replied,”Could you hold my camel?”
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2009
  4. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  5. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    Encore.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    Encore? OK, then:

    A husband is persuaded to attend the ballet with his wife, after much nagging. He would have prefered to be at the football game, but for the sake of peace agrees.
    During the first act of Swan Lake, he starts sniggering and laughing to himself. His wife gives him a jab with her elbow and says. "I know you don't really want to be here, but stop laughing and sniggering."
    The man replies. "I cannot help it, I was wondering what the audience would do if I rushed down on to the stage, grabbed the Prima Ballerina and gave her a good seeing to in front of them all."
    His wife responded by jabbing him hard with her elbow and telling him to shut his filthy mouth.
    A short while later she started to chuckle to herself. "What are you laughing at?" Asked her husband.
    She replied. "I was just thinking what would happen if you did what you told me to the Prima Ballerina, and the audience gave you a standing ovation." "Wondering what?" Asked her husband. She replied. "I was wondering what you would do for an Encore!"
     
  7. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    modo, do not be tempted to rep Colin for his jokes and wit.

    However, if you're inclined to rep - find Bootneck posts and rep those. Colin is an evil genius who is not to be trusted! He's :evil::evil::evil:
     
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  8. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    :( Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told...keep repping Colin!

    Talking of genius. Did you hear about the genius farmer?


    A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer
    standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car
    over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just
    standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

    The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer
    and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

    The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

    "How?" asks the man, puzzled.

    "Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out
    standing in their field."
     
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