SP Sardonic Press Parents sue school for discrimination after half-witted child is denied acceptance into school’s gifted program. By Manny Phold - 20 minutes ago East Dingbat SC (SP) – In the small town of East Dingbat, in north-west South Carolina, the parents of a half-witted third grader have filed suit against the local school board alleging that the Oak Street elementary school discriminated against their child when he was denied acceptance into the school’s program for gifted children, simply because he is not gifted. “It is an outrage, in this day and age,” exclaimed Cindy-Lou Genepuddle, mother of the half-wit, “that this kind of disprejudation is still allowed to pertuberate!” The child’s teacher, Hyram A. Dingleberry, defends his decision saying, “This program is intended to stimulate the minds of our intellectually gifted students, who could otherwise sleep-walk their way through our already outlandishly dumbed-down curriculum. A curriculum that, by the way, has proven to be a considerable challenge for the small Genepuddle boy.” The case continues to gather national attention, especially since well known anti-discrimination lawyer and Harvard Law professor Julib Dooshowitz has agreed to represent the Genepuddles. Dooshowitz asserts that half-wits deserve the same lawful protection against discrimination as minorities, gays, women, the physically disabled, nerds, and fatsos. “It’s just not fair,” says Dooshowitz, “that half-wits are routinely turned down for employment, simply because they are unable to read, let alone fill out the job application. It’s about time we finally remedy this evil scourge that has plagued humanity since the beginning of time!” Dooshowitz also added that he intends to take this all the way to the Supreme Court "if that’s what it takes."