Ma, throw me out the window, a pickle!" > > The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture. > > According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renownedHebronics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebronics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish. > Professor Shulman explains, "In Hebronics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated. > > Thus 'How are you?' may be answered, 'How should I be, with my bad feet?' " > > Shulman says that Hebronics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or scepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning:"Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?" > > Another Hebronics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: "It's beautiful, that dress." > > Shulman says one also sees the Hebronics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as "He's slow as a turtle," could be: "Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks." "The responses must have that particular eastern European Jewish intonation", adds Dr. Shulman. > > Shulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, Switched-OnHebronics: > > Question: "What time is it?" > English answer: "Sorry, I don't know." > Hebronic response: "What am I, a clock?" > > Remark: "I hope things turn out okay." > English answer: "Thanks." > Hebronic response: "I should be so lucky!" > > Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready." > English answer: "Be right there." > Hebronic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' business? Is there a fire?" > > Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time." > English answer: "Glad you like it." > Hebronic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you?" > > Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged." > English answer: "Congratulations!" > Hebronic response: "She could stand to lose a few pounds." > > Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?" > English answer: "Just say when." > Hebronic response: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?" > > To the guest of honour at a birthday party: > English answer: "Happy birthday." > Hebronic response: "A year smarter you should become." > > Remark: "It's a beautiful day." > English answer: "Sure is." > Hebronic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?" > > Answering a phone call from a son: > English answer: "It's been a while since you called." > Hebronic response: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead already?