Discussion in 'Current Events' started by dmp, Feb 3, 2005.
Why didn't you tell me this when I asked you to pick a wife for me???? :teeth:
Part of this myth is built on counting those people that get married 7 or 8 times and never realize that it takes work to keep a marriage together.
Something like 75% of first marriages stay together and follow their promise of "for better or worse".
It is those people that can truthfully state something that my friend says as a joke, "I am looking for the next ex Mrs. no1tovote4".
Nah, both sides have to work at it. Most of the problem comes from people that prepare for the Wedding but not the Marriage.
And I would suggest not picking one for somebody else. There is nothing more telling on how a friend thinks of you than the people they try to set you up with. This practice can end good friendships that would othewise survive through death and dismemberment.
Oh I figured that. Unfortunately I accidentally submitted my post before I was finished.
There are three kinds of lies:
Lies, Damn lies, and statistics.
It all depends on how you cook the books, and the relative comparisons you make.
If in a single year, there are 2.4M Marriages and 1.2M divorces, and those numbers held constant year after year, eventually, it would indeed be a 50% divorce rate.
But it's not a closed system. More useful stats are percentage of marriages that last 1, 5, 10 years. Or percentage of marriages that end in death vs divorce, etc.
People tend to grab the ONE stat that makes their point and disregard the others.
No 'reading into' the stats....just explaining why they aren't accurate.
It's intriguing and sad to me that people spend so much money on a wedding and do all this preparation for the big day, then after the Honeymoon many don't seem to know, or, want to do what it takes to keep a close and happy marriage. I think too many people fall for all the crap written by pop psychologists wanting to sell books, that men and women are so different and can't possibly get along, this one is from Mars and that one is from Venus. I don't buy it. We are all individuals that carry our own stuff into relationships including terrible communication skills, unrealistic expectations of marriage itself. I think too many companies with their traveling spouses requirements and after work Martini get togethers do much more harm to a marriage than male female differences.
People are taught to focus primarily on their specific, relative happiness to determine if the marriage is 'working out'.
We have become a serial monogomous society. Truly if people would put their marriages and each other first I believe most marriages can be great ones!! And that starts with sex and passion for eachother only, and them deciding that it's a much better life when you have someone who shares your passions, and with whom you can trust to be there for you thru all the ups and downs. JMO
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