My Wife's Birthday.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by JW Frogen, Nov 5, 2010.

  1. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    I wake up this morning so worse for my wear I could become a leather couch in a Texas brothel.

    My wife's birthday this Saturday.

    I wake up after my zombie night and say "My birthday present to you will be a sober husband."

    But my wife replies, "Oh fuck off, you promise this every year. I want a necklace, and let Sammy pick it out."
     
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  2. Madeline
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    Madeline BANNED

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    [​IMG]

    You have married yourself a wunnerful woman, JW. Now part with the cash, and wish her a happy birthday from all your USMB fans, of which I am one.
     
  3. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    A pearl necklace?
     
  4. Dis
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    So do the right thing and give her both.

    And throw in a nice ring to match that necklace just for good measure, cause I guarantee, if you drank that much, and you were my husband, you wouldn't have lived to see many birthdays for anyone, much less yourself. :)
     
  5. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    Well it is 9 AM and one gift is out the window, so I better get a beautiful fucking necklace.
     
  6. 007
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    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Ya know something JW... I think if you drank a fraction as much as you would like us to believe, you'd be DEAD by now. It doesn't take too many years of drinking as hard as you purport before you wind up with Cirrhosis of the liver, and then, you're dead.

    My two cents. Sorry pard, I don't buy your act. It's about as convincing as xo saying he's a doctor... :lol:
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2010
  7. syrenn
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    syrenn BANNED

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    Sober enough to do what? :lol:
     
  8. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    No my friend, I understand, I get it. I understand your doubt because I doubt it.


    I can not believe how much I can drink.

    I can never prove this, (only my wife knows the effects, my tolerance is so high even my co-workers do not know how plastered I am) and is it really something to be proud to prove anyway?

    But I can drink beyond my own belief and yours, and it would seem to tomorrow too.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2010
  9. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    So far.
     
  10. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    The one thing I can do better than anyone else will kill me, and most people will never know I really did it.

    Jesus went to a cross, and his followers never understood he really died there.
     

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