Media and the Marine

Discussion in 'Humor' started by pegwinn, Feb 14, 2005.

  1. pegwinn

    pegwinn Top of the Food Chain

    Apr 17, 2004
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    Stolen from an email I got
    :2guns: :firing:
    Subject: Media And The Marine

    Anchors Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and NPR Reporter
    Cokie Roberts, along with one Marine assigned to
    protect them were hiking through the Iraq desert one
    day when they were captured by Insurgents.

    They were tied up, led to a village, and brought
    before the leader. The leader said, "I am familiar
    with your western custom of granting the condemned a
    last wish so, before we kill and dismember you, do you
    have any last requests?"

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan so I'd like one
    last bowl of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an
    underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather
    ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

    Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to
    hear the song 'O Canada' one last time." The leader
    nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western
    world and knew the music. He returned with some
    rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. ! Jennings
    sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want
    to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene
    here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone
    will hear it and know that I was on the job till the

    The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape
    recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then
    said, "Now I can die happy." The leader turned and
    said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final

    "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

    "What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your
    last hour?"

    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the
    ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him
    into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

    The Marine went sprawling, rolled to his knees, pulled
    a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the
    leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt t! o
    his knapsack, pulled out his M 4 carbine and sprayed
    the rest of the Insurgents with gunfire. In a flash,
    all of them were either dead or fleeing for their

    As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings and
    Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot
    them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

    "What," replied the Marine, "and have you three ass
    holes call me the aggressor?"

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