I am posting this human trafficking story under immigration as a related issue
and reminder that it isn't just affecting immigrants but larger populations.
Life after human trafficking - Houston Chronicle
==============================================
Life after human trafficking
'I've had so many people ask, "Why didn't you just leave and get away?" '
By Jayme Fraser
January 5, 2015 Updated: January 5, 2015 2:12pm child sex trafficking in the suburbs. (A Fort Bend County committee is developing a proposal to crack down on people who buy sex with minors and for healing rescued children.) In reporting that story, I met Rebekah, who was first sold for sex by a trafficker when she was 17. Today she's a 33-year-old college junior with a 4.0 GPA -- living proof that the victims of human trafficking can recover.
Here's our conversation, edited for length and clarity. I've removed some identifying details, such as her last name, to protect her privacy. -- Jayme Fraser
Q: Can you start by telling me your story?
A: I'm from the Dallas-Fort Worth area in the suburbs. The youngest of six kids. Christian Baptist home. I just became vulnerable through experimenting with drugs and being a rebellious teenager, eventually running away from home at 17. My parents had tried to place me in a girls home. I was on a visit home and ran at that point. I never looked back, and I felt like what my family had done was an absolute betrayal. I just felt like I couldn't connect with anyone. My parents were 40 when I was born. I lived on the streets and lived with literally whoever I met that day.
Q: Is that how you met your trafficker?
A: The drug business got slow. I was invited to dance in a strip club although I was only 17. My first trafficker found me. I didn't know he was a trafficker. I thought he was going to be my boyfriend. The second night I was with him, I realized what was going on. I felt like I had no one to reach out to, especially since he was then my only rope to the world. I was living with him at that point already. I stayed in that situation a couple months. I was ready to just kill myself. I was working on the street, seeing a lot of clients every day, for very low amounts. At work one night, I met someone else in the parking lot. He was 20 years older than me -- 37 -- from California. He talked differently and seemed totally different. I thought, "I'm gonna either kill myself -- I can't take this anymore -- or I'm gonna give this guy a shot." I escaped and went with a second trafficker.
GRAY MATTERS
A: He groomed me for a period of months. The other girls involved treated me with respect, unlike the first time. We lived in a 5,000-square-foot home in Denton. Right under everyone's nose. We had a very nice home. We bought a five-acre ranch to form what was our main hub. I was trafficked all over the country. I stayed in that situation for 10 years, from 17 till I was 27.
The beginning of the end for me was going to federal prison in 2006. "Trafficking" wasn't a buzzword then. They were treating me like a criminal. I was so brainwashed and manipulated, there was no chance I was going to tell them anything. I did 13 months in federal prison, time for my trafficker to be sentenced on a conspiracy indictment and go to prison. That's when I escaped finally. That was in 2009.
Q: What's recovery been like for you?
A: Now I'm 33 and [pause].... It's a long road to rebuild my life. It took me several years before I realized what happened to me. I thought I made bad choices and paid for bad choices. It took me a long time to realize I'd been manipulated.
Q: How? What tactics did he use to control you?
A: It's funny. You look at the dictionary definition of "brainwashing." The actual definition, it honestly made me cry. So many of the things it said happened to me. It was a systematic approach of how to control and dominate someone and make them think there's no way out. Multiple death threats. He secluded and isolated me from day one. I already had a terrible relationship with my family, and he drove that nail in further.
He became my everything. I thought he was my savior. I thought he was my shining knight. Yeah, he would beat me, but then there were good times, too. I thought I loved him. I thought it was all my fault for not dusting the lamp well enough: I should've just done it better and he would've been happy with me. That's the mindset I had. It wasn't, "He's a terrible guy." I thought he had my best interests at heart.
I was 17 years old, and he was 37. He seemed so much more knowledgeable and worldly than me. Pretty much, I took everything hook, line and sinker. He talked about us as a family unit, only as strong as our weakest link. He had rewards for the girls. There were 13 of them over the years. If you were with him long enough, you got this special privilege. It was a hierarchical system that you felt like if you could do a little bit better, he'll be happy. That's all you care about because you don't want to get beat.
I've had so many people ask, "Why didn't you just leave and get away?" You're just trying to get through the day without getting beat, trying to do everything he says, not talk back or have attitude. To think about getting away, it's even scarier than dealing with what you're dealing with. You know how bad he beats you; another girl had to have facial reconstructive surgery from having her orbital bones broken so many times and never being let to go to the hospital. You really believe it when he says he's going to kill you.
Q: And all that was happening in the suburbs. Did anybody ever have a sense of what was going on in that house?
A: Generally, you're working all night. You're not out in the daytime.
Somebody tipped off the federal authorities. It was pretty weird. There were these white women and one black man. All these fancy cars. Mercedes and BMWs and Bentleys and Rolls Royces. At one point, we had seven cars at once. Between four people.
I think people did say something. That was a great thing. That drew attention.
But we never associated with anyone. Anywhere we went, we would drive really far away to use a bank or Western Union. We wouldn't do anything locally. We drove really far to keep things secret. We used fake names everywhere, used fake IDs and paid cash and never went back again. Nobody was ever able to see the full picture because we weren't all together. He kept us separated and always was going to different locations to keep that anonymity.
Q: What would you like to say to kids? Maybe ones who find themselves in the situation you were?
A: To know they're worth more. Our culture right now has just glorified the objectification of women. I hear songs on the radio: "Baby, it's okay to work at night so long as you come home to me." Our culture has just accepted that.
I had been raped before I was ever trafficked. I had been shown all I ever was worth was my body. That's all guys ever wanted from me. It was a tool, so it wasn't a far stretch when a trafficker told me I was doing it for free so I might as well get paid for it.
Our young girls should know they're worth more. Reach out to someone and say something. They're so much more.
Q: Earlier you talked about "trafficking" being a buzzword now. Can you talk more about that?
A: I think it's amazing. I think it's great.
There's a girl who was trafficked with me. I helped her escape. She had a different road to recovery. At this point, even now, she still doesn't identify with the word, "trafficking."
It goes on so much and so many people just discount it as prostitution -- Yeah, he was just a jerk. He beat me and used my money. -- but they don't want to label it that way. It's one of the hugest hurdles for victims to identify themselves. It's sometimes easier for other people....
I speak and train local police to help raise the awareness. I was one of those hard cases. The federal authorities tried to get me to turn on my trafficker, and I wouldn't. He trained me to look at everyone else as the enemy and never let anyone inside our circle. I empathize now with people that are meeting victims who feel like it's their choice. No, it's not. They don't want [to be labeled a trafficking victim or a prostitute]. There's a lot of shame associated with that.
Q: You mentioned that you were raped. How old were you the first time?
A: I honestly don't remember. Once, I was about 13 years old. I was at a lock-in at a church. I snuck out. I got raped. The other time, I was 16, and he attempted. I fought him off. I started living on the streets. Once I ran, there was so many times I had a gun held to my head. It was life-or-death situations on a daily basis.
Q: What's life like now? Is there a life after?
A: Since I moved back to Texas in 2012, I went back to college. I've gotten my GED -- it was a federal stipulation of my release. I got pregnant by the guy I've dated for a while. I'm starting my junior year this spring at a university. I have a 4.0 GPA. I plan to get my bachelor's degree in criminal justice, and I want to go to law school, with my goal being to advocate for victims. There's life after.
There's lots of triggers on a day-to-day basis. Something happens, and I have to call one of my survivor sisters, a national survivor network, and we all support each other. There's tons of people out there like me, and I keep connected with some of the girls trafficked by the same guy. We know each other's triggers.
It's so much easier to deal with it than it used to be. When I used to pretend that wasn't me and I didn't really identify as a trafficking victim, it was so much harder. I got addicted to drugs. I wasn't healing. I was just trying to move on. Now that I've realized and started to heal, it's completely different.
I just really want those girls out there to know there's so many organizations now that want to help them. It took me a long time to believe there were people in the world that would want to help me without wanting something in return. In that life, everything has a price and everybody wants something for what they give you. I'm learning now as an adult that's not the truth. There are good people out there doing good things just for you without wanting anything in return.
and reminder that it isn't just affecting immigrants but larger populations.
Life after human trafficking - Houston Chronicle
==============================================
Life after human trafficking
'I've had so many people ask, "Why didn't you just leave and get away?" '
By Jayme Fraser
January 5, 2015 Updated: January 5, 2015 2:12pm child sex trafficking in the suburbs. (A Fort Bend County committee is developing a proposal to crack down on people who buy sex with minors and for healing rescued children.) In reporting that story, I met Rebekah, who was first sold for sex by a trafficker when she was 17. Today she's a 33-year-old college junior with a 4.0 GPA -- living proof that the victims of human trafficking can recover.
Here's our conversation, edited for length and clarity. I've removed some identifying details, such as her last name, to protect her privacy. -- Jayme Fraser
Q: Can you start by telling me your story?
A: I'm from the Dallas-Fort Worth area in the suburbs. The youngest of six kids. Christian Baptist home. I just became vulnerable through experimenting with drugs and being a rebellious teenager, eventually running away from home at 17. My parents had tried to place me in a girls home. I was on a visit home and ran at that point. I never looked back, and I felt like what my family had done was an absolute betrayal. I just felt like I couldn't connect with anyone. My parents were 40 when I was born. I lived on the streets and lived with literally whoever I met that day.
Q: Is that how you met your trafficker?
A: The drug business got slow. I was invited to dance in a strip club although I was only 17. My first trafficker found me. I didn't know he was a trafficker. I thought he was going to be my boyfriend. The second night I was with him, I realized what was going on. I felt like I had no one to reach out to, especially since he was then my only rope to the world. I was living with him at that point already. I stayed in that situation a couple months. I was ready to just kill myself. I was working on the street, seeing a lot of clients every day, for very low amounts. At work one night, I met someone else in the parking lot. He was 20 years older than me -- 37 -- from California. He talked differently and seemed totally different. I thought, "I'm gonna either kill myself -- I can't take this anymore -- or I'm gonna give this guy a shot." I escaped and went with a second trafficker.
GRAY MATTERS
Life after human trafficking- Downton Abbey recap: 'Suppose I can't tackle a new life?'
Downton abyss
Biking in Houston: It's not just for the young and hip
Hey, downtown: You need to slow down.
A: He groomed me for a period of months. The other girls involved treated me with respect, unlike the first time. We lived in a 5,000-square-foot home in Denton. Right under everyone's nose. We had a very nice home. We bought a five-acre ranch to form what was our main hub. I was trafficked all over the country. I stayed in that situation for 10 years, from 17 till I was 27.
The beginning of the end for me was going to federal prison in 2006. "Trafficking" wasn't a buzzword then. They were treating me like a criminal. I was so brainwashed and manipulated, there was no chance I was going to tell them anything. I did 13 months in federal prison, time for my trafficker to be sentenced on a conspiracy indictment and go to prison. That's when I escaped finally. That was in 2009.
Q: What's recovery been like for you?
A: Now I'm 33 and [pause].... It's a long road to rebuild my life. It took me several years before I realized what happened to me. I thought I made bad choices and paid for bad choices. It took me a long time to realize I'd been manipulated.
Q: How? What tactics did he use to control you?
A: It's funny. You look at the dictionary definition of "brainwashing." The actual definition, it honestly made me cry. So many of the things it said happened to me. It was a systematic approach of how to control and dominate someone and make them think there's no way out. Multiple death threats. He secluded and isolated me from day one. I already had a terrible relationship with my family, and he drove that nail in further.
He became my everything. I thought he was my savior. I thought he was my shining knight. Yeah, he would beat me, but then there were good times, too. I thought I loved him. I thought it was all my fault for not dusting the lamp well enough: I should've just done it better and he would've been happy with me. That's the mindset I had. It wasn't, "He's a terrible guy." I thought he had my best interests at heart.
I was 17 years old, and he was 37. He seemed so much more knowledgeable and worldly than me. Pretty much, I took everything hook, line and sinker. He talked about us as a family unit, only as strong as our weakest link. He had rewards for the girls. There were 13 of them over the years. If you were with him long enough, you got this special privilege. It was a hierarchical system that you felt like if you could do a little bit better, he'll be happy. That's all you care about because you don't want to get beat.
I've had so many people ask, "Why didn't you just leave and get away?" You're just trying to get through the day without getting beat, trying to do everything he says, not talk back or have attitude. To think about getting away, it's even scarier than dealing with what you're dealing with. You know how bad he beats you; another girl had to have facial reconstructive surgery from having her orbital bones broken so many times and never being let to go to the hospital. You really believe it when he says he's going to kill you.
Q: And all that was happening in the suburbs. Did anybody ever have a sense of what was going on in that house?
A: Generally, you're working all night. You're not out in the daytime.
Somebody tipped off the federal authorities. It was pretty weird. There were these white women and one black man. All these fancy cars. Mercedes and BMWs and Bentleys and Rolls Royces. At one point, we had seven cars at once. Between four people.
I think people did say something. That was a great thing. That drew attention.
But we never associated with anyone. Anywhere we went, we would drive really far away to use a bank or Western Union. We wouldn't do anything locally. We drove really far to keep things secret. We used fake names everywhere, used fake IDs and paid cash and never went back again. Nobody was ever able to see the full picture because we weren't all together. He kept us separated and always was going to different locations to keep that anonymity.
Q: What would you like to say to kids? Maybe ones who find themselves in the situation you were?
A: To know they're worth more. Our culture right now has just glorified the objectification of women. I hear songs on the radio: "Baby, it's okay to work at night so long as you come home to me." Our culture has just accepted that.
I had been raped before I was ever trafficked. I had been shown all I ever was worth was my body. That's all guys ever wanted from me. It was a tool, so it wasn't a far stretch when a trafficker told me I was doing it for free so I might as well get paid for it.
Our young girls should know they're worth more. Reach out to someone and say something. They're so much more.
Q: Earlier you talked about "trafficking" being a buzzword now. Can you talk more about that?
A: I think it's amazing. I think it's great.
There's a girl who was trafficked with me. I helped her escape. She had a different road to recovery. At this point, even now, she still doesn't identify with the word, "trafficking."
It goes on so much and so many people just discount it as prostitution -- Yeah, he was just a jerk. He beat me and used my money. -- but they don't want to label it that way. It's one of the hugest hurdles for victims to identify themselves. It's sometimes easier for other people....
I speak and train local police to help raise the awareness. I was one of those hard cases. The federal authorities tried to get me to turn on my trafficker, and I wouldn't. He trained me to look at everyone else as the enemy and never let anyone inside our circle. I empathize now with people that are meeting victims who feel like it's their choice. No, it's not. They don't want [to be labeled a trafficking victim or a prostitute]. There's a lot of shame associated with that.
Q: You mentioned that you were raped. How old were you the first time?
A: I honestly don't remember. Once, I was about 13 years old. I was at a lock-in at a church. I snuck out. I got raped. The other time, I was 16, and he attempted. I fought him off. I started living on the streets. Once I ran, there was so many times I had a gun held to my head. It was life-or-death situations on a daily basis.
Q: What's life like now? Is there a life after?
A: Since I moved back to Texas in 2012, I went back to college. I've gotten my GED -- it was a federal stipulation of my release. I got pregnant by the guy I've dated for a while. I'm starting my junior year this spring at a university. I have a 4.0 GPA. I plan to get my bachelor's degree in criminal justice, and I want to go to law school, with my goal being to advocate for victims. There's life after.
There's lots of triggers on a day-to-day basis. Something happens, and I have to call one of my survivor sisters, a national survivor network, and we all support each other. There's tons of people out there like me, and I keep connected with some of the girls trafficked by the same guy. We know each other's triggers.
It's so much easier to deal with it than it used to be. When I used to pretend that wasn't me and I didn't really identify as a trafficking victim, it was so much harder. I got addicted to drugs. I wasn't healing. I was just trying to move on. Now that I've realized and started to heal, it's completely different.
I just really want those girls out there to know there's so many organizations now that want to help them. It took me a long time to believe there were people in the world that would want to help me without wanting something in return. In that life, everything has a price and everybody wants something for what they give you. I'm learning now as an adult that's not the truth. There are good people out there doing good things just for you without wanting anything in return.
