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you've said you believe in it before.
you've said you believe in it before.
My problem here isn't that the guy has to be paying child support. It's the ridiculous situation that the guy is left with. The child support system in this country is broken. The good guys get fucked over, and the deadbeats get away with it.
Some guys really are deadbeats. And some get the shaft. But I agree, the system is screwed up and somebody always gets screwed in the end. Who gets bent over depends on the lawyers, the judge and the state where it's decided - and the state where it's enforced, if the noncustodial parent lives elsewhere. Everyone has a horror story. Hell of a way to run a railroad.
Except nine times out of ten, the mother will get custody. Unless the mother is literally the worst parent on earth, she will get custody the majority of the time.
But I do agree with a lot of what you said.
you've said you believe in it before.
My problem here isn't that the guy has to be paying child support. It's the ridiculous situation that the guy is left with. The child support system in this country is broken. The good guys get fucked over, and the deadbeats get away with it.
You're mostly right. The men are making progress though, several states now have default joint custody if hte circumstances are right. And of course men usually get joint legal custody if not physical, although that breeds its own set of problems.
Fuck that. The kids are his, he can figure it out. I'm raising 4 (it doesn't stop when they turn 18) and the pittance I get in child support is a joke. Heat alone is $200 a month....so 2/3 of that is theirs, and 1/2 of that should by rights be his. Add that to their portion of the rent, and guess what? I don't get anywhere near what I spend on them.
And that's just the second set. The first set, I've receive a grand total (over 24 years) of $5,200. Woo fucking hoo. We spent that much on one broken arm, 13 years ago.
You're mostly right. The men are making progress though, several states now have default joint custody if hte circumstances are right. And of course men usually get joint legal custody if not physical, although that breeds its own set of problems.
They are making progress, that is true. The entire case of custody is a difficult thing and it's always more difficult when one side argues "well he'd be better here with me."
Oddly enough, I'm reminded of Boyz in the Hood at the moment.
Too many parents forget kids aren't wishbones. Too many judges are too overloaded to care. Too many lawyers are too, and don't bother to be creative or look too hard at the facts. The whole family law system sucks, and for all the women can get screwed or the men shafted we all know who really gets lost. I don't have the answers, but something needs to be done.
GlennSacks.com » Blog Archive » Family Attorney Marsha Freeman: 'The System is Broken'
John Nelson went from six-figure-earning software exectutive to unemployed overnight. But his $2,200 child support payment didn't change that quickly. It took a year for him to get a hearing, and when he finally did, the judge increased his obligation. By that time he had gotten a job as a science teacher, but the newly-upped child support obligation meant that he took home a grand total of $58 per week. Read about it here (WFTV, 11/9/09).
The judge, Julian Piggotte's attitude was "you can afford it; figure it out." Then she discovered that she had a conflict of interest in Nelson's case and withdrew.
His ex-wife sees the situation this way:
"Our lives go on. The kids still have lunches, they still go to school, and they still have field trips."
That's true. And if she and John were still together, the kids would need to be fed and go to school, but their standard of living would drop along with that of their parents. That's what happens when parents lose their jobs - parents and children live on less. They all manage the best they can. It's one of the sometimes-harsh realities of daily life.
Only if the parents are divorced does the concept arise that the children's lives must in no way change due to a parent's loss of income. It's as if Judge Piggotte lives in a fantasy world in which children must and do remain unaffected when their father loses his job. Indeed, it's the same fantasy world in which an adult can live on $58 per week.
Nelson's case is like countless others these days. Some 80% of job losses have been suffered by men in the last year or so. A lot of those guys are fathers, some of them divorced. That means they have to file for a modification of their support orders
It's another strange aspect of the whole matter that, if Nelson's wife had wanted a temporary restraining order against him, she could have gotten a hearing and had an order issued in a matter of hours. But when he loses his job and needs to reduce his child support to reflect what he can actually pay, it takes over a year.
Thoughts?
Further evidence that the Child Support system is broken?
Its a sticky situation. Child Support MUST be paid, and I say that reluctantly, because I would hate to kick in 31% of my gross. However, this case is an abomination. $58 a week? That can't even buy you a nice cardboard box to live in.
If I were the guy that is where you say I love the kids, but I have to go. Either move to another State (or even a different country) and run from the payments.
Sometimes creative lawyers are the problem.Too many judges are too overloaded to care. Too many lawyers are too, and don't bother to be creative or look too hard at the facts.
you've said you believe in it before.
My problem here isn't that the guy has to be paying child support. It's the ridiculous situation that the guy is left with. The child support system in this country is broken. The good guys get fucked over, and the deadbeats get away with it.
Its a sticky situation. Child Support MUST be paid, and I say that reluctantly, because I would hate to kick in 31% of my gross. However, this case is an abomination. $58 a week? That can't even buy you a nice cardboard box to live in.
If I were the guy that is where you say I love the kids, but I have to go. Either move to another State (or even a different country) and run from the payments.
That's what many guys end up doing.
Sometimes creative lawyers are the problem.Too many judges are too overloaded to care. Too many lawyers are too, and don't bother to be creative or look too hard at the facts.
A friend of mine in college babysat for, and befriended, a woman before her divorce.
The husband was a doctor. The mother had put him through college. They had three kids.
His attorney successfully argued that the father, because he earned far more than the mother, who still worked, would be a better provider than the mother and he got custody.
Then sued her for child support.
This is the same kind of nonsense and the culprit is the same; Lawyers screw the system in favor of their clients to make money for themselves.
I believe lawyers study ethics so they can figure out more creative ways to cheat people.
True. And who gets hurt in the end, again? A dad with a warrant for unpaid support isn't likely to be showing up to see the kids.
Its a sticky situation. Child Support MUST be paid, and I say that reluctantly, because I would hate to kick in 31% of my gross. However, this case is an abomination. $58 a week? That can't even buy you a nice cardboard box to live in.
If I were the guy that is where you say I love the kids, but I have to go. Either move to another State (or even a different country) and run from the payments.
That's what many guys end up doing.
Its a sticky situation. Child Support MUST be paid, and I say that reluctantly, because I would hate to kick in 31% of my gross. However, this case is an abomination. $58 a week? That can't even buy you a nice cardboard box to live in.
If I were the guy that is where you say I love the kids, but I have to go. Either move to another State (or even a different country) and run from the payments.
That's what many guys end up doing.
True. And who gets hurt in the end, again? A dad with a warrant for unpaid support isn't likely to be showing up to see the kids.