Jesus Slimed: Toxic-Waste Debate [TrumpUSA]

[Abishai100]

Does TrumpUSA make you feel worried about commercial apathy?

This eco-political vignette was inspired by An Inconvenient Truth. What do you think of the quality of the Trump Administration's approach to merging Republican with Democrat creativity?



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The First Lady (Melania Trump) was busy touring various U.S. cities where underfunded schools were troubled and creating pedestrian criticisms of the Trump Administration's policies regarding the social management of intellectual properties. Melania wore a very attractive green dress while visiting an underfunded school in Virginia when she received strange news. Apparently, a strange person was placing jars of chemically neutralized toxic-waste on the footsteps/doorways of various private schools in America.



No one knew who the culprit was, but since the FBI was baffled too, the world's favorite vigilante, Batman (a mysterious man who dressed up like a giant bat), was contacted and requested to investigate. Batman was sure the culprit was a mad scientist he once met in CalTech named Jervis Tetch who was obsessed with Lewis Carroll's logic-madness character known as the Mad Hatter. Batman hypothesized that Dr. Tetch was calling himself the 'Mad Hatter' and placing these jars of neutralized toxic-waste on the steps/doorways of American private schools to scare people about the reality of disorder in the modern world.



Everyone knew Batman was a big fan of American ideals, democratic commerce, and capitalism pedagoguery and how trade promoted peace. It was Batman who oversaw the vital alliance-forged PyeongChang Olympics in South Korea, which saw a temporary peace-accord between North Korea and South Korea. Batman was a fan of American-endorsed networking-driven global media and institutions such as Facebook and the World Bank. Batman realized Mad Hatter's scheme of 'toxic-waste theosophy' would undermine basic pedestrian optimism and subvert the social idealism towards the media-chants of TrumpUSA.



Batman was right about everything. Dr. Tetch despised TrumpUSA and blamed the Trump Administration for America becoming entrenched in uninspired capitalism (e.g., Gulf War). Tetch fashioned himself a fancy hat and fancied suit and called himself Mad Hatter. It was Mad Hatter who placed those eerie jars of neutralized toxic-waste on the steps/doorways of American private schools such as Exeter. Hatter wanted TrumpUSA citizens to brood about the 'presence' of ugliness in this modern world of high-traffic engaged claustrophobia towards eyesores such as industrial waste.



Batman knew Hatter's sheer-disgust towards toxic-waste was related to his insistence that capitalism was flawed by qualities of basic human emotional psychology. Since of course capitalism promoted individual liberties catering to free will and profit, it could be characterized as a system of great frailty, giving rise to forms of piracy and self-destruction. When corporations engaged in avarice, industrial waste was a natural 'metaphysical by-product.' Batman concluded Hatter wanted a media-message like, "Private schools with toxic-waste jars signal a returned-Jesus who wears a garb/robe of 'green slime' (a sign of hell)."



BATMAN: What's your interest in Christianity, Tetch?
HATTER: I'm wielding a hammer-and-sickle of terrorism!
BATMAN: Jesus was not a terrorist...
HATTER: He was a provocateur, and now we need the AntiChrist!
BATMAN: Your toxic-waste jars in private schools is only creating angst.
HATTER: There's nothing wrong with angst, Batman; it creates dialogue.
BATMAN: Your brand of 'proselytizing pedestrians' makes you like the Unabomber.
HATTER: The Unabomber was a mad-terrorist with an intellectual background (Harvard).
BATMAN: Do you have aspirations of becoming a great prophet or something, Hatter?
HATTER: Batman, as you know, my interest in eco-activism is related to Edward Abbey.
BATMAN: Abbey's The Monkey Wrench Gang introduced readers to eco-inventiveness.
HATTER: Imagine Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) destroyed by a wrench!
BATMAN: I saw that horror-film; a wrench hit him, and he fell, and his chainsaw cut him.
HATTER: There's an ugly irony to 'capitalism-passion.'
BATMAN: So you want people to feel 'ashamed' of the reality of self-destruction?
HATTER: Didn't Jesus foretell of the days when man would destroy himself?
BATMAN: If TrumpUSA fails to create Utopia, it won't be because of 'terrorism-art.'

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[sparky]

 

[Abishai100]

Ethan's Lionel Dreams



Here's a Marvel spin on the same type of political daydream for TrumpUSA.

Merry Christmas!


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A 12 year-old boy named Ethan collected clippings of the Lionel Kiddie City toy store coupons/flyers from the 1980s, since his grandfather was a collector of these items. Ethan took his grand-dad's Lionel flyers to make albums and mosaics about Christmastime consumerism from the 1980s (to compare to TrumpUSA Toys 'R Us ads). Ethan decided these clippings/flyers represented American idealism towards consumerism in general.



One night, Ethan had a dream he was being visited by two demonic anti-heroines named Rogue and Dark Phoenix who wanted to persuade him that anarchy and mischief were more ingenious than American consumerism-idealism. However, Ethan remained idealistic about American capitalism and TrumpUSA Christmastime festivities. Ethan wondered if Rogue and Dark Phoenix were some kind of 'politicians' about modern civilization industrialization problems such as eco-pollution.



The next night, Ethan dreamed he was being visited by another Marvel Comics ghoul, the eerie and hideous Green Goblin who told him that the main problem of TrumpUSA was indeed eco-pollution. Green Goblin showed Ethan a fire-glowing pumpkin-bomb which represented the anarchy and evil of eco-terrorism and suggested that anti-capitalism was a sign of the frailty of TrumpUSA. When Ethan awoke in a cold sweat, he quickly ran to his Lionel Kiddie City flyer album and reminded himself of the tangibility of consumerism optimism and refused to believe the omen of the Green Goblin.



Ethan told his grand-dad about his two dreams, and his grand-dad decided to take Ethan to his alma mater, Tufts University, where he took Ethan to a special exhibit about Phoenician sailors/merchants in the Tufts History Museum. Ethan's grand-dad explained that commerce and trade were integral to human civilization for a long time, and regarding the value of capitalism was vital for human imagination. Ethan realized there was real potential for Christmastime shopping in TrumpUSA and was happy his grand-dad took him to the history exhibit.



When Ethan thought about a special portrait of Phoenician traders, he began thinking about the special magic of the 'history of trade' in human civilization. He wondered if TrumpUSA politicians considered modern industrialization problems such as eco-pollution signs of democratic labor than pessimism. He decided to write his Congressman a letter about the rich history of trade and commerce and why TrumpUSA could uplift the Christmastime spirit.



The Congressman who received Ethan's letter sent him a photo of a colonial-era Virginia woman named Edna Randolph who was a 16 year-old girl who studied the history of commerce in tobacco in the New World and became a diligent student of consumerism/capitalism. Apparently Edna, who was an ancestor of the Congressman Ethan wrote to, was fascinated by the marketing of voodoo dolls in colonial-era America and how Native-Americans shared these voodoo dolls with children of colonial Americans. Edna believed these voodoo dolls would be 'precursors' to modern-day 'superstition-totems' (such as kids' Ouija/Jumanji games!).



Ethan decided to log onto USMB and found an Internet-blogging self-proclaimed 'democracy-vigilante' named Ajay Satan who was blogging about pornography and taboo topics as they related to censorship in the age of media/networks. Ethan realized censorship issues in the adult-world were related to consumerism imagination among youngsters in the kid/teen world in TrumpUSA. Everyone was fascinated by the 'concept' of 'image' and Ajay wondered if TrumpUSA catered to a new form of 'fanaticism.'



Ethan decided to look up photos of old Lionel Kiddie City toy stores and Lionel model-train sets which were popular in the 1970s and 1980s. Ethan pasted these photos which he printed at Kinko's onto a letter which he sent to the same Congressman, urging him to consider how media imagery contributed to Americans' appreciation of lifestyle issues such as eco-activism. Ethan had become a real 'patriot.'



Ethan's grand-dad purchased a Lionel electric train for him that Christmas from eBay. Ethan loved his train set and played with it often, and then one night, he once again he dreamed he was visited by the Green Goblin who told him he had gone on a great 'political journey' of American discovery which led him to the realization that eco-activism was both a blessing and a curse. When Ethan awoke, this time much less anxious, all he could think about was Yosemite National Park. He had been 'religiously moved.'

ETHAN: Thanks for meeting with me, Mr. President!
TRUMP: Well, you're obviously a young student interested in D.C.
ETHAN: I love Marvel Comics and wanted to talk about eco-pollution.
TRUMP: Yes, I understand you think Green Goblin is an 'eco-terrorist.'
ETHAN: Yes, he throws pumpkin-bombs which can symbolize chemical weapons.
TRUMP: So what did you want to ask me?
ETHAN: Do Republicans care about eco-activism as much as Democrats?
TRUMP: Ethan, all Americans care about the Earth.
ETHAN: Well, I do believe TrumpUSA consumerism is a thing of revelation!

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