Is this alcoholic or not?

[Lucy Hamilton]

So I have this man who does maintenance on various properties that I own and rent out, he is excellent at this for me.

On Wednesday I bought him two bottles of white wine. I speak to him last night and he say he is depressed because he has no booze in, so I say well he will have to finish the bottles of wine and he say he already has. About a month ago I bought him a box of 20 bottles of Stella, he drinks Stella, so anyway in 5 days he finish all 20 bottles.

About two weeks ago he was supposed to do some work on the Saturday for someone else not me, he went to his brother on the Friday for dinner and stay overnight and then in bed most of Saturday because he drink too much at his brothers and had a hangover, so he then had to do the work on the Sunday.

I do not know does this seem like he is alcoholic or not? To me I think this is drinking a lot and also he say he is depressed because he has no booze in now. I was thinking of telling him I think he drinks too much but I am concerned if he could freak out and begin shouting at being told he drinks too much.

So is he alcoholic or not? Should I say something to him or not?

 

[Pogo]

He does seem to have an unhealthy dependence. Whether you say something depends on your relationship and whether it's your 'place' to say so but definitely don't give him any more wine or "Stella" -- whatever that is. That just makes it worse.

I've got a half-bottle of rum here in this house. It's been sitting here for six years.

 

[ZZ PUPPS]

He's probably an alcoholic, but that's not definitive on this evidence. It might piss him off to mention it. If it doesn't interfere with the work it does for you, why take that risk? If he gets mad and quits, then you've got to find new help.

 

[boedicca]

So I have this man who does maintenance on various properties that I own and rent out, he is excellent at this for me.

On Wednesday I bought him two bottles of white wine. I speak to him last night and he say he is depressed because he has no booze in, so I say well he will have to finish the bottles of wine and he say he already has. About a month ago I bought him a box of 20 bottles of Stella, he drinks Stella, so anyway in 5 days he finish all 20 bottles.

About two weeks ago he was supposed to do some work on the Saturday for someone else not me, he went to his brother on the Friday for dinner and stay overnight and then in bed most of Saturday because he drink too much at his brothers and had a hangover, so he then had to do the work on the Sunday.

I do not know does this seem like he is alcoholic or not? To me I think this is drinking a lot and also he say he is depressed because he has no booze in now. I was thinking of telling him I think he drinks too much but I am concerned if he could freak out and begin shouting at being told he drinks too much.

So is he alcoholic or not? Should I say something to him or not?

4 bottles per day sounds like alcoholism to me.

 

[Care4all]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

He's probably an alcoholic, but that's not definitive on this evidence. It might piss him off to mention it. If it doesn't interfere with the work it does for you, why take that risk? If he gets mad and quits, then you've got to find new help.

Well also I am concerned about the damage he is doing to his liver with all this booze.

 

[Pogo]

He's probably an alcoholic, but that's not definitive on this evidence. It might piss him off to mention it. If it doesn't interfere with the work it does for you, why take that risk? If he gets mad and quits, then you've got to find new help.

Well also I am concerned about the damage he is doing to his liver with all this booze.

You know, Jack Bruce had to have a liver transplant...

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

He does seem to have an unhealthy dependence. Whether you say something depends on your relationship and whether it's your 'place' to say so but definitely don't give him any more wine or "Stella" -- whatever that is. That just makes it worse.

I've got a half-bottle of rum here in this house. It's been sitting here for six years.

Okay I will not get him anymore Stella or anything else. I think his wife drinks too much also, I have seen her drink an entire bottle of wine within two hours. Several years ago I had a situation as this with someone else and I say to them I think they drink too much and I thought they should go to AA and they started shouting at me and insisting they did not drink too much or have a booze problem. This is why I am not sure if I should do this again, say to my maintenance man that I think he drinks too much.

 

[Pogo]

He does seem to have an unhealthy dependence. Whether you say something depends on your relationship and whether it's your 'place' to say so but definitely don't give him any more wine or "Stella" -- whatever that is. That just makes it worse.

I've got a half-bottle of rum here in this house. It's been sitting here for six years.

Okay I will not get him anymore Stella or anything else. I think his wife drinks too much also, I have seen her drink an entire bottle of wine within two hours. Several years ago I had a situation as this with someone else and I say to them I think they drink too much and I thought they should go to AA and they started shouting at me and insisting they did not drink too much or have a booze problem. This is why I am not sure if I should do this again, say to my maintenance man that I think he drinks too much.

Next time try saying that without your customary martini in your hand.

 

[ZZ PUPPS]

He's probably an alcoholic, but that's not definitive on this evidence. It might piss him off to mention it. If it doesn't interfere with the work it does for you, why take that risk? If he gets mad and quits, then you've got to find new help.

Well also I am concerned about the damage he is doing to his liver with all this booze.

If he is an alcoholic, then it's an addiction and your words will have little effect, in all probability. He needs to dry out under supervised conditions. Until he's willing to do that, everything else is a waste of time.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

He's probably an alcoholic, but that's not definitive on this evidence. It might piss him off to mention it. If it doesn't interfere with the work it does for you, why take that risk? If he gets mad and quits, then you've got to find new help.

Well also I am concerned about the damage he is doing to his liver with all this booze.

If he is an alcoholic, then it's an addiction and your words will have little effect, in all probability. He needs to dry out under supervised conditions. Until he's willing to do that, everything else is a waste of time.

What a mess this is. I think even if I told him he drinks too much he would say no, so as with any addiction unless the person admits they have a problem then there is no use with rehab.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

He does seem to have an unhealthy dependence. Whether you say something depends on your relationship and whether it's your 'place' to say so but definitely don't give him any more wine or "Stella" -- whatever that is. That just makes it worse.

I've got a half-bottle of rum here in this house. It's been sitting here for six years.

Okay I will not get him anymore Stella or anything else. I think his wife drinks too much also, I have seen her drink an entire bottle of wine within two hours. Several years ago I had a situation as this with someone else and I say to them I think they drink too much and I thought they should go to AA and they started shouting at me and insisting they did not drink too much or have a booze problem. This is why I am not sure if I should do this again, say to my maintenance man that I think he drinks too much.

Next time try saying that without your customary martini in your hand.

ROFLAO! Well I have one Martini a day before dinner.

 

[ZZ PUPPS]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

Just a point of note, you gave him the money and somehow it magically ended up in the wife's pocket.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

So I have this man who does maintenance on various properties that I own and rent out, he is excellent at this for me.

On Wednesday I bought him two bottles of white wine. I speak to him last night and he say he is depressed because he has no booze in, so I say well he will have to finish the bottles of wine and he say he already has. About a month ago I bought him a box of 20 bottles of Stella, he drinks Stella, so anyway in 5 days he finish all 20 bottles.

About two weeks ago he was supposed to do some work on the Saturday for someone else not me, he went to his brother on the Friday for dinner and stay overnight and then in bed most of Saturday because he drink too much at his brothers and had a hangover, so he then had to do the work on the Sunday.

I do not know does this seem like he is alcoholic or not? To me I think this is drinking a lot and also he say he is depressed because he has no booze in now. I was thinking of telling him I think he drinks too much but I am concerned if he could freak out and begin shouting at being told he drinks too much.

So is he alcoholic or not? Should I say something to him or not?

4 bottles per day sounds like alcoholism to me.

I think so also.

 

[Pogo]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

It sounds like they both have addictions (or more accurately, "dependencies") that feed each other in a mutually-perpetuating cycle.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

Just a point of note, you gave him the money and somehow it magically ended up in the wife's pocket.

Yes, also his wife is sometimes semi suicidal, he has said that she has said he would be better if she was dead. Mr. Lucy was even thinking of approaching her to offer her to visit his Consulting Room so she could talk to him as a patient.

 

[ZZ PUPPS]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

Just a point of note, you gave him the money and somehow it magically ended up in the wife's pocket.

Yes, also his wife is sometimes semi suicidal, he has said that she has said he would be better if she was dead. Mr. Lucy was even thinking of approaching her to offer her to visit his Consulting Room so she could talk to him as a patient.

It can't hurt. In any event, you will have tried and can have a "clean" conscience.

 

[Muhammed]

So I have this man who does maintenance on various properties that I own and rent out, he is excellent at this for me.

On Wednesday I bought him two bottles of white wine. I speak to him last night and he say he is depressed because he has no booze in, so I say well he will have to finish the bottles of wine and he say he already has. About a month ago I bought him a box of 20 bottles of Stella, he drinks Stella, so anyway in 5 days he finish all 20 bottles.

About two weeks ago he was supposed to do some work on the Saturday for someone else not me, he went to his brother on the Friday for dinner and stay overnight and then in bed most of Saturday because he drink too much at his brothers and had a hangover, so he then had to do the work on the Sunday.

I do not know does this seem like he is alcoholic or not? To me I think this is drinking a lot and also he say he is depressed because he has no booze in now. I was thinking of telling him I think he drinks too much but I am concerned if he could freak out and begin shouting at being told he drinks too much.

So is he alcoholic or not? Should I say something to him or not?

If somebody gets depressed because they do not have any alcohol, they are likely an addict. And since alcohol itself is a CNS depressant, drinking isn't the wisest thing to do when you are depressed.

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

Sounds like he is an alcoholic Lucy.... a functioning alcoholic...because he still does his work well....

Do you have any other people that you know that likes him as you do, that could help with talking with him, like an Intervention? Is his brother an alcoholic too? Can you speak with his brother?

Maybe you could find out what makes him so sad to drink his worries away every night? And try to help him that way...? Which could lead to less drinking for him if he just identifies his sorrow, or misery, or what ever it may be??

I dunno....

I think he is alcoholic. His brother owns a hotel and that is all I know about his brother I do not know what his drinking situation is.

My maintenance man has a massive debt that his wife ran up, she now is not working because she's on Anti-Anxiety pills and everything because of guilt or whatever because of running up the debt. I have previous given them money to help pay the debt then he has told me his wife instead spend that money on a shopping spree, so even though I could I have not offered to financially help them anymore because his wife cannot be trusted to control herself.

Just a point of note, you gave him the money and somehow it magically ended up in the wife's pocket.

Yes, also his wife is sometimes semi suicidal, he has said that she has said he would be better if she was dead. Mr. Lucy was even thinking of approaching her to offer her to visit his Consulting Room so she could talk to him as a patient.

It can't hurt. In any event, you will have tried and can have a "clean" conscience.

Well he has not communicated at all with me today since this morning, this because this morning he texted and I said I had been out getting something for Kid E and then he text me and say that as I was out I could have got him some booze because I know he has no booze in and so he is now sulking or whatever because I did not get him booze for today.

His daughter aged 17 years in age wants an auto, but he cannot get her one because of this debt he has to pay off so a few weeks ago he asked me could I give his daughter the money to get the auto and she could pay me back x amount each month and I said I could not do that right now. I could give her the money but the actual reason I do not want to is because now I do not trust that the money is for the daughter, all I know it could be used not even to pay off the debt but it could end with his wife blowing that money on a shopping spree.

He is excellent at doing maintenance for me but I don't know, this is very complicated now with his needing booze and his fucked up wife.