I'm All Out of Options

[Pumpkin Row]

So, a friend of mine has hit a rough patch in his life, due to his grandmother's inability to save money or spend it wisely, and can't seem to find a job. I found a place for him to stay, with my daddy in North Dakota, but due to the fact that it was an apartment, he was only allowed to stay there for a short time. By the end of the month, he has to move out, and wasn't able to find a job, so he can't get a place of his own. He legitimately tried the entire time.

I'm trying to find another place for him to stay... my parents won't let him stay with me, but I figured... hey... may as well ask a forum, the worst that can happen is that they either don't reply or they say no. If anyone is willing to consider it, I can put you in contact with him.

 

[emilynghiem]

I can try to help. Can you have your friend join here and PM me? My cell phone is posted publicly on freedmenstown.com (where my email is my user name at hotmail).

For that community project, I was asked to call a meeting with our Congresswoman to use the last remaining historic houses to create transitional home office jobs for Vets and volunteers raising money to develop the campus plans to save that historic district. yes this would create jobs for people. And we would replicate this same concept in similar locations that need job and community development also. (I also have a couple of friends willing to approach Wal-Mart about renovating their abandoned storefronts to create jobs and businesses/training for communities for economic development. So this could reach nationwide with the number of empty storefronts open to repurposing.) What interests or skills does your friend have, what background? Where does your friend PREFER to work or stay. Please PM me whatever info I need to get in touch. This is a common problem so whatever works can be set up in each district where people are running into this same thing!
Thanks PR Yours truly, Emily

 

[Pumpkin Row]

I can try to help. Can you have your friend join here and PM me? My cell phone is posted publicly on freedmenstown.com (where my email is my user name at hotmail).

For that community project, I was asked to call a meeting with our Congresswoman to use the last remaining historic houses to create transitional home office jobs for Vets and volunteers raising money to develop the campus plans to save that historic district. yes this would create jobs for people. And we would replicate this same concept in similar locations that need job and community development also. (I also have a couple of friends willing to approach Wal-Mart about renovating their abandoned storefronts to create jobs and businesses/training for communities for economic development. So this could reach nationwide with the number of empty storefronts open to repurposing.) What interests or skills does your friend have, what background? Where does your friend PREFER to work or stay. Please PM me whatever info I need to get in touch. This is a common problem so whatever works can be set up in each district where people are running into this same thing!
Thanks PR Yours truly, Emily

Well, here's the easiest way to contact him: Discord
He'll be in the chat in a moment, all you have to do is click the link, no downloads required or anything. This link is set never to expire. Any questions you have, you can ask him directly.

 

[Kat]

This is a terrible situation for your friend. I have tried to think of answers, but am not doing a very good job. Hopefully someone can help out, or have ideas that will help.
I am sorry this is going on.

 

[emilynghiem]

I can try to help. Can you have your friend join here and PM me? My cell phone is posted publicly on freedmenstown.com (where my email is my user name at hotmail).

For that community project, I was asked to call a meeting with our Congresswoman to use the last remaining historic houses to create transitional home office jobs for Vets and volunteers raising money to develop the campus plans to save that historic district. yes this would create jobs for people. And we would replicate this same concept in similar locations that need job and community development also. (I also have a couple of friends willing to approach Wal-Mart about renovating their abandoned storefronts to create jobs and businesses/training for communities for economic development. So this could reach nationwide with the number of empty storefronts open to repurposing.) What interests or skills does your friend have, what background? Where does your friend PREFER to work or stay. Please PM me whatever info I need to get in touch. This is a common problem so whatever works can be set up in each district where people are running into this same thing!
Thanks PR Yours truly, Emily

Well, here's the easiest way to contact him: Discord
He'll be in the chat in a moment, all you have to do is click the link, no downloads required or anything. This link is set never to expire. Any questions you have, you can ask him directly.

I'm not at my home computer and this one can't take downloads.
Can this be done by cell phone?

 

[Spare_change]

So, a friend of mine has hit a rough patch in his life, due to his grandmother's inability to save money or spend it wisely, and can't seem to find a job. I found a place for him to stay, with my daddy in North Dakota, but due to the fact that it was an apartment, he was only allowed to stay there for a short time. By the end of the month, he has to move out, and wasn't able to find a job, so he can't get a place of his own. He legitimately tried the entire time.

I'm trying to find another place for him to stay... my parents won't let him stay with me, but I figured... hey... may as well ask a forum, the worst that can happen is that they either don't reply or they say no. If anyone is willing to consider it, I can put you in contact with him.

There comes a time when every person has to stand on his own two feet, when every person has to take responsibility, and the consequences, of his actions.

But, he won't do it while you enable him, while he can count on you to alleviate his consequences. I can appreciate you helping him, giving up your time, and your money, to help him. But, in truth, you're not helping him at all. You are merely delaying his date with reality. Are you doing it for him, are you doing it just to make yourself feel good?

You need to cut the guy loose - the time has come. Eventually, he has to quit crying, kick himself in the ass, and take responsibility for himself.

(Does he call you Mom? Because that's what you are to him)

 

[Pumpkin Row]

So, a friend of mine has hit a rough patch in his life, due to his grandmother's inability to save money or spend it wisely, and can't seem to find a job. I found a place for him to stay, with my daddy in North Dakota, but due to the fact that it was an apartment, he was only allowed to stay there for a short time. By the end of the month, he has to move out, and wasn't able to find a job, so he can't get a place of his own. He legitimately tried the entire time.

I'm trying to find another place for him to stay... my parents won't let him stay with me, but I figured... hey... may as well ask a forum, the worst that can happen is that they either don't reply or they say no. If anyone is willing to consider it, I can put you in contact with him.

There comes a time when every person has to stand on his own two feet, when every person has to take responsibility, and the consequences, of his actions.

But, he won't do it while you enable him, while he can count on you to alleviate his consequences. I can appreciate you helping him, giving up your time, and your money, to help him. But, in truth, you're not helping him at all. You are merely delaying his date with reality. Are you doing it for him, are you doing it just to make yourself feel good?

You need to cut the guy loose - the time has come. Eventually, he has to quit crying, kick himself in the ass, and take responsibility for himself.

(Does he call you Mom? Because that's what you are to him)

I hope not, he's 20 and I'm 15, so that would be strange. Thanks for your input, though, all responses are valuable to me.

 

[emilynghiem]

So, a friend of mine has hit a rough patch in his life, due to his grandmother's inability to save money or spend it wisely, and can't seem to find a job. I found a place for him to stay, with my daddy in North Dakota, but due to the fact that it was an apartment, he was only allowed to stay there for a short time. By the end of the month, he has to move out, and wasn't able to find a job, so he can't get a place of his own. He legitimately tried the entire time.

I'm trying to find another place for him to stay... my parents won't let him stay with me, but I figured... hey... may as well ask a forum, the worst that can happen is that they either don't reply or they say no. If anyone is willing to consider it, I can put you in contact with him.

There comes a time when every person has to stand on his own two feet, when every person has to take responsibility, and the consequences, of his actions.

But, he won't do it while you enable him, while he can count on you to alleviate his consequences. I can appreciate you helping him, giving up your time, and your money, to help him. But, in truth, you're not helping him at all. You are merely delaying his date with reality. Are you doing it for him, are you doing it just to make yourself feel good?

You need to cut the guy loose - the time has come. Eventually, he has to quit crying, kick himself in the ass, and take responsibility for himself.

(Does he call you Mom? Because that's what you are to him)

True Spare_change I've run into this over and over trying to help people "mutually" by offering to have them come work on the Freedmen's Town project. Especially with the men we've tried to bring in and help, where they are supposed to help bring in resources to develop the community campus plans as their "campus job" that will justify their housing costs. Instead, they have BLED OUT the resources I had to try to save the historic neighborhood, borrowed against that to cover THEIR costs, and then didn't do the work to pay back into the plans. so money went out we couldn't afford to spare.

In the case of Occupy, two of the young men even abused the legal volunteers to try to SEIZE the property from the owner that I was paying the rent for to create OFFICE SPACE for them and Occupy until we could get the campus plans going. They backstabbed and sabotaged everything for short term needs, and screwed over the long term plans and wasted irreplaceable time and resources. The whole project crashed because they were in it for themselves and took from others without giving back to the community which was the point of bringing in volunteers to CREATE paid jobs in developing this correctly.

I've had more luck with the women volunteers that don't commit unless they are serious about the work it is going to take. For some reason, the men have felt "entitled" and just wanted to get the benefits first from the community, but then avoid doing any of the work. While the women work two jobs to pay for the costs, and the men expect to be in charge without doing anything.

You wonder why there is a pay gap where men get paid more than women?
Maybe it's because they refuse to work unless they get paid more.
While women get stuck working for free when there is no money to pay for that work. There has been traditional sexism going on where the men expect the women to serve and work while the men remain in charge. This is bankrupting the community and the only people fixing it are the women trying to help.
But nobody respects that leadership and keeps expecting men to be in charge.
So that's what's been killing the community.

Other people have as many horror stories about deadbeat roommates that are female also, not just men. You are right, there are people just looking for a mommy to take care of them. And then get mad when asked to do work around the house, expecting to get paid for their work but they dont value or respect the work other people do to help provide for them.

I'm also worried the whole "welfare" system of subsidizing people for free without conditions on work or staying off drugs, etc, SKEWS people's sense of the TRUE cost of running a household and living independently.

Again one of the volunteers thinks he could get by on just part time work.
Well who is going to pay the rent if all he can afford is electricity?
Just NO CLUE about the cost of things because he lived at his dad's subsidized section 8 housing, and then stayed with friends. You can't expect to live somewhere for free "and do the work later." People are expecting to get paid up front. They think their credit is good and want people to lend to them, on the premise they will work and pay it back; but when it comes to paying OTHER people on the same basis, they don't value or give credit to others.

So we end up with a vicious cycle where they expect to be paid first and have their needs met first before they work, but don't extend the same courtesy.
One volunteer even yelled at me about "being treated as a slave" for asking them to work after I paid in advance. I had to explain that for every hour I was paying a HUGE amount, I worked 2-3 hours to EARN that money I was paying them. So who is the slave? if I work 2-3 times as many hours, but I don't get to keep that money, it is going to pay THEIR bills and not mine. why are they complaining? Sorry they just don't get it. They value their time and needs but don't think about the work it takes the other person to earn the money to pay for the things to help them. They count that as free because it's already paid for. That's the problem with govt handouts, they think it's public and paid for.
They don't consider the work taxpayers do and their right to say where that money goes. They think once it's in the public pool "it belongs to them."

Sorry to vent but the whole govt welfare thing has SKEWED people's perception of accountability for costs, and who has authority to say where resources go, the taxpayers who PAY the taxes or people who think govt owes these resources to them as public (and they THINK they work hard enough to earn it but have NO CLUE how much it REALLY takes to run a household.)

 

[emilynghiem]

Dear Pumpkin Row I'm trying to sign on to that Discord thing on my cell phone. If I get lost between that app and how to work my cell phone, PLEASE just have your friend call me. That's easier than trying to set up a chat app on my phone. If i haven't gotten it to connect now, I don't have all night to figure this out.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Dear Pumpkin Row I'm trying to sign on to that Discord thing on my cell phone. If I get lost between that app and how to work my cell phone, PLEASE just have your friend call me. That's easier than trying to set up a chat app on my phone. If i haven't gotten it to connect now, I don't have all night to figure this out.

PM me your phone number, then, please, I'll have him call you.

 

[emilynghiem]

Dear Pumpkin Row I'm trying to sign on to that Discord thing on my cell phone. If I get lost between that app and how to work my cell phone, PLEASE just have your friend call me. That's easier than trying to set up a chat app on my phone. If i haven't gotten it to connect now, I don't have all night to figure this out.

Dear Pumpkin Row it's asking me to set up a google account and asking me to pay with a credit card. Please just have your friend call me. I will PM you the number if it was 'too much work' for your friend to look it up on the website. We need help to do fundraising online to raise millions to save that historic site and create campus jobs for people in transition. They can gain experience and then move on to other jobs while new volunteers come in starting at entry level.

But if your friend just creates MORE work for people to help THEM, that is more of the same garbage with previous volunteers who CLAIM to come in to help, because they want to create jobs for themselves, but just create more work and tax our resources.

Creating work is not the same as creating jobs. Does your friend understand the difference? As long as they are WILLING TO LEARN that's good. But if they have no clue now, I think they will be SCARED OFF. it takes a lot more work and people are used to having it comfortable.

Sorry Pumpkin Row it's definitely asking me to use paypal before downloading the app. why would your friend with no money expect people to pay to even talk?

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Dear Pumpkin Row I'm trying to sign on to that Discord thing on my cell phone. If I get lost between that app and how to work my cell phone, PLEASE just have your friend call me. That's easier than trying to set up a chat app on my phone. If i haven't gotten it to connect now, I don't have all night to figure this out.

Dear Pumpkin Row it's asking me to set up a google account and asking me to pay with a credit card. Please just have your friend call me. I will PM you the number if it was 'too much work' for your friend to look it up on the website. We need help to do fundraising online to raise millions to save that historic site and create campus jobs for people in transition. They can gain experience and then move on to other jobs while new volunteers come in starting at entry level.

But if your friend just creates MORE work for people to help THEM, that is more of the same garbage with previous volunteers who CLAIM to come in to help, because they want to create jobs for themselves, but just create more work and tax our resources.

Creating work is not the same as creating jobs. Does your friend understand the difference? As long as they are WILLING TO LEARN that's good. But if they have no clue now, I think they will be SCARED OFF. it takes a lot more work and people are used to having it comfortable.

Sorry Pumpkin Row it's definitely asking me to use paypal before downloading the app. why would your friend with no money expect people to pay to even talk?

The app is free, and you don't even need to download it or make an account. I think you may have downloaded the wrong thing somewhere along the way. It's fine, though, he'll either email you or call you when my daddy wakes up.

 

[emilynghiem]

If he's in ND there are supposed to be more jobs there than housing for the people coming in to work. could he even work a fast food job if he found a place to stay? is it because of the shortage of housing from the glut of contractors coming in?

If there are any church ministries, nonprofits, Salvation Army, United Way etc. groups out there, has he checked out any of the usual resources?

 

[Pumpkin Row]

If he's in ND there are supposed to be more jobs there than housing for the people coming in to work. could he even work a fast food job if he found a place to stay? is it because of the shortage of housing from the glut of contractors coming in?

I'm not sure, you could ask him when he emails you.

 

[The Great Goose]

So, a friend of mine has hit a rough patch in his life, due to his grandmother's inability to save money or spend it wisely, and can't seem to find a job. I found a place for him to stay, with my daddy in North Dakota, but due to the fact that it was an apartment, he was only allowed to stay there for a short time. By the end of the month, he has to move out, and wasn't able to find a job, so he can't get a place of his own. He legitimately tried the entire time.

I'm trying to find another place for him to stay... my parents won't let him stay with me, but I figured... hey... may as well ask a forum, the worst that can happen is that they either don't reply or they say no. If anyone is willing to consider it, I can put you in contact with him.

There comes a time when every person has to stand on his own two feet, when every person has to take responsibility, and the consequences, of his actions.

But, he won't do it while you enable him, while he can count on you to alleviate his consequences. I can appreciate you helping him, giving up your time, and your money, to help him. But, in truth, you're not helping him at all. You are merely delaying his date with reality. Are you doing it for him, are you doing it just to make yourself feel good?

You need to cut the guy loose - the time has come. Eventually, he has to quit crying, kick himself in the ass, and take responsibility for himself.

(Does he call you Mom? Because that's what you are to him)

This isn't Nationstates!

 

[Rob37]

Sounds like there is a crime going on here

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Sounds like there is a crime going on here

Elaborate.

 

[Rob37]

Scam

 

[Rob37]

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Scam

I don't think scammers run around begging for jobs, but personally, I didn't expect this thread to amount to anything, anyway. Nobody helps people anymore due to the amount of scam artists pretending to be homeless.