I Am The Bad Man

[Samson]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

 

[Conspiracist]

cool beans

 

[boedicca]

Samson is the civilian equivalent of Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men".

People need him on "that wall", but would rather not know what he does while on the wall.

 

[Granny]

Damn I wish I'd know you had such a talent ... I had to ask another friend to take care of people who were making me crazy. Fine job, he did.

Send me your phone number ... I'll keep you in mind if there's another ruckus!

 

[Samson]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

 

[Samson]

Samson is the civilian equivalent of Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men".

People need him on "that wall", but would rather not know what he does while on the wall.

Frankly, most believe I'm the equivalent of Jack Nicholson in "The Shining."

 

[boedicca]

That works too. ABOMINABLE Johnny On The Wall.

(Edit: Hat tip to Samson himself for the necessary clarification.)

 

[Baruch Menachem]

people like you make it easier for people like me to get better service, so I salute you.

 

[Trajan]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

let your inner self speak...

 

[Paulie]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

The whisper part was funny, actually an LOL moment.

But the rest of all that was kind of unnecessary. Fixing the check is one thing, but you really wanted money back on nachos you didn't like?

That's nacho money anymore.

 

[Samson]

cool beans

Last night for example:

I go out to a sports bar with my 14 yo. we get there 30 minutes before the end of happy hour, and I order stuff off the happy hour menue.

When the bill comes, its for another table. I send it back.

When the second bill comes, it doesn't include all the happy hour discounts, and I ask to see the Manager, and the New and Improved Check.

He brings it out, I declare that the Nacho's Sucked, and he says, "You don't need to raise your voice sir." So, I whisper, "your nachos suck.", and he says, "I heard you the first time, sir."

I says, "That's great, because I've been sitting here waiting on my third version of the check, wondering why I should ever return to this restaurant."

He says, "Sir, you don't need to raise your voice."

I says, "I'm NOT RAISING MY VOICE!!"

He says, "You don't need to return to this restaurant," and retreats behind the bar.

I stand up, and shout, "I"M NOT GOING TO RETURN BECAUSE YOUR NACHOS SUCK, AND YOU CHEATED ME OUT OF $10 ON THE BILL!!!"

The whisper part was funny, actually an LOL moment.

But the rest of all that was kind of unnecessary. Fixing the check is one thing, but you really wanted money back on nachos you didn't like?

That's nacho money anymore.

You're right: I wanted some reason to return to his fuckin' restaurant. But instead I was given a rash of crap, have cancelled the card, and have asked the bank to reverse the THREE debits on it.

 

[Trajan]

but R U the sad man?....(behind blue eyes?)

 

[AllieBaba]

I don't think they can do that, Samson. You can't make the debit company/bank eat those dinners...

 

[Paulie]

I don't think they can do that, Samson. You can't make the debit company/bank eat those dinners...

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Samson]

I don't think they can do that, Samson. You can't make the debit company/bank eat those dinners...

We'll see.

 

[Sherry]

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

 

[Samson]

but R U the sad man?....(behind blue eyes?)

No, but my dreams aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be.

 

[ConHog]

I to am the guy who those in my family are embarrassed by unless it is THEM who I am saving money or whatever.

My wife would rather just pay and move on. Fuck that.

 

[JW Frogen]

Yes Sampson, you are an asshole. A necessary one and you have the rules of the game down here, you complain after the food has been served.

My brother in law starts kicking up his agro long before the food arrives insuring we are going to get booger and spit spice in every bite.

 

[jillian]

but R U the sad man?....(behind blue eyes?)

Damn...you beat me to it