I Am Banned From Wal-Mart...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Big Black Dog, Jun 26, 2009.

  1. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Pedigree dog food for my two beagles, Jingles and Nellie. I was in the checkout line and there were 6 or 8 people behind me. An older, fat lady asked me if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, a moose? So since I have a lot of time on my hands these days, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. I was going back on the Pedigree dog food diet. I also told her that I probably shouldn't because the last time I ended up in the hospital but I had lost over 50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of every orifice I had and IV's in both arms.

    Everybody in the line was listening to me talking to this old fat lady.

    I told her that it was an almost perfect diet and the way it worked is to load your pants pockets up with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in the intesnive care unit because the dog food poisoned me.

    I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a German Short-Haired Pointer's ass and a car hit both of us.

    I thought the guy behind this lady was going to have a stroke because he was laughing so hard.

    Wal-Mart asked me to not shop there anymore...

    :eek:
     
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  2. JBeukema
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    JBeukema BANNED

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