How do you define affection and how much of it do you need?

[FLGoldilocks]

So, I have seen questions in here asking people to define sex, to define cheating, etc. And my boyfriend and I were having a discussion about affection, and I thought it would be interesting to see what others think on this.

So, my question to you, is how do you define affection? Is it physical stuff, such as kissing, hugging, handholding, cuddling? Is it pet names? Is it saying I love you? Is it none of those things and something else entirely? Is it all of those things and other stuff as well? If there's other stuff, what is that other stuff? Can you give me specific examples?

And of that affection, however you define it, how much do you need? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? How many times a day/week/month/year?

And...if you and your spouse differ on how much you need, how do you compromise on that, without either of you feeling forced or abandoned or whatever you'd call it? Do you just deal with the fact that they don't need as much as you and therefore won't give you as much as you need, or do they give you affection they don't really want to so that you'll be happier? Did you learn to live with less affection and still be happy?

I just thought it would be interesting to see how others view it. Thanks!

 

[B. Kidd]

Affection is listening and acknowledging my partners feelings, even during those times when I'm aware that I am not responsible for how she feels.
I, myself, need a moderate amount of affection, as I believe basic neccesities and security trump affection in the hierarchy of human needs.

 

[JW Frogen]

What is this thing you call.........affection?

 

[Frank]

So, my question to you, is how do you define affection? Is it physical stuff, such as kissing, hugging, handholding, cuddling? Is it pet names? Is it saying I love you? Is it none of those things and something else entirely? Is it all of those things and other stuff as well? If there's other stuff, what is that other stuff? Can you give me specific examples?

It's a look in the eyes, a smile on the face, a light touch on the hand when others aren't paying attention or even notice. It's anything that let's your partner know you care.

And of that affection, however you define it, how much do you need? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? How many times a day/week/month/year?

When you are truly "connected", you know how much and as for when, you are in tune enough to know that as well....when they need it the most.

And...if you and your spouse differ on how much you need, how do you compromise on that, without either of you feeling forced or abandoned or whatever you'd call it? Do you just deal with the fact that they don't need as much as you and therefore won't give you as much as you need, or do they give you affection they don't really want to so that you'll be happier? Did you learn to live with less affection and still be happy?

You can't compromise on feelings.

 

[Ringel05]

What is this thing you call.........affection?

Not sure but it does sound a lot like affliction.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRtt7QYvgWE]YouTube - Robert Palmer - Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor Give Me The news)[/ame]

 

[dilloduck]

Is affection any different than reassurance ? Is someone else supposed to do it for us or is it our responsibilty to assure ourselves ? Can we choose the level of affection we need or is it hard wired ?
grist for the mill

 

[Sherry]

Is affection any different than reassurance ? Is someone else supposed to do it for us or is it our responsibilty to assure ourselves ? Can we choose the level of affection we need or is it hard wired ?
grist for the mill

Giving myself a hug just doesn't have quite the same impact for me as getting it from someone else.

 

[dilloduck]

Is affection any different than reassurance ? Is someone else supposed to do it for us or is it our responsibilty to assure ourselves ? Can we choose the level of affection we need or is it hard wired ?
grist for the mill

Giving myself a hug just doesn't have quite the same impact for me as getting it from someone else.

You're doing it wrong.

 

[JW Frogen]

Affection is a lessor emotion than love.

Love is I need this person, I will die for them.

Affection is more of, I think this person is a retard but there is something about them I like, so I will let them hang around.

Love is Anthony and Cleopatra, affection is Lenny and Squiggy.

Though I have to admit, Lenny and George is love too.

 

[JW Frogen]

Mind you, watch your back when your best friend starts telling you about the rabbits.

 

[Mr. H.]

Being attentive towards another and acting on it. It doesn't often take much effort and the little things are most appreciated. I don't need much, which is exactly what I get these days. Not much. Yeah I just deal with it.

 

[dilloduck]

If you buy a high maintainance car be sure you know a good mechanic.

 

[uscitizen]

Blue Perfunctulator wiring harness.

 

[Sherry]

If you buy a high maintainance car be sure you know a good mechanic.

If you want any sort of car to serve you well, then preventive maintenance is your best bet.

 

[JW Frogen]

If you buy a high maintainance car be sure you know a good mechanic.

If you want any sort of car to serve you well, then preventive maintenance is your best bet.

A long dip stick helps too.

 

[dilloduck]

If you buy a high maintainance car be sure you know a good mechanic.

If you want any sort of car to serve you well, then preventive maintenance is your best bet.

A long dip stick helps too.

and plenty of lubrication

 

[Sherry]

Perverts.

Keep the chassis tightened up.

 

[kurtsprincess]

I feel the most loved when hubby lightly kisses my cheek in the morning when he is leaving for work and I'm still fuzzy with sleep.

 

[dilloduck]

I feel the most loved when hubby lightly kisses my cheek in the morning when he is leaving for work and I'm still fuzzy with sleep.

It's wise to catch women when they are fuzzy and aren't able to ask for more.

 

[Ringel05]

Perverts.

Keep the chassis tightened up.

Sounds like it's time for a lube job..........