How do you define affection and how much of it do you need?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by FLGoldilocks, Jun 20, 2010.

  1. FLGoldilocks
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    FLGoldilocks Member

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    So, I have seen questions in here asking people to define sex, to define cheating, etc. And my boyfriend and I were having a discussion about affection, and I thought it would be interesting to see what others think on this.

    So, my question to you, is how do you define affection? Is it physical stuff, such as kissing, hugging, handholding, cuddling? Is it pet names? Is it saying I love you? Is it none of those things and something else entirely? Is it all of those things and other stuff as well? If there's other stuff, what is that other stuff? Can you give me specific examples?

    And of that affection, however you define it, how much do you need? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? How many times a day/week/month/year?

    And...if you and your spouse differ on how much you need, how do you compromise on that, without either of you feeling forced or abandoned or whatever you'd call it? Do you just deal with the fact that they don't need as much as you and therefore won't give you as much as you need, or do they give you affection they don't really want to so that you'll be happier? Did you learn to live with less affection and still be happy?

    I just thought it would be interesting to see how others view it. Thanks!
     
  2. B. Kidd
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    B. Kidd Gold Member

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    Affection is listening and acknowledging my partners feelings, even during those times when I'm aware that I am not responsible for how she feels.
    I, myself, need a moderate amount of affection, as I believe basic neccesities and security trump affection in the hierarchy of human needs.
     
  3. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    What is this thing you call.........affection?
     
  4. Frank
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    Frank One step short of crazy..

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    It's a look in the eyes, a smile on the face, a light touch on the hand when others aren't paying attention or even notice. It's anything that let's your partner know you care.
    When you are truly "connected", you know how much and as for when, you are in tune enough to know that as well....when they need it the most.

    You can't compromise on feelings.
     
  5. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    Not sure but it does sound a lot like affliction.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRtt7QYvgWE]YouTube - Robert Palmer - Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor Give Me The news)[/ame]
     
  6. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Is affection any different than reassurance ? Is someone else supposed to do it for us or is it our responsibilty to assure ourselves ? Can we choose the level of affection we need or is it hard wired ?
    grist for the mill
     
  7. Sherry
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    Sherry You're not the boss of me Supporting Member

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    Giving myself a hug just doesn't have quite the same impact for me as getting it from someone else.:lol:
     
  8. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    You're doing it wrong. :lol:
     
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  9. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    Affection is a lessor emotion than love.

    Love is I need this person, I will die for them.

    Affection is more of, I think this person is a retard but there is something about them I like, so I will let them hang around.

    Love is Anthony and Cleopatra, affection is Lenny and Squiggy.

    Though I have to admit, Lenny and George is love too.
     
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  10. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    Mind you, watch your back when your best friend starts telling you about the rabbits.
     

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