Here are some rules, have you tried "friends with benefits?"

[mudwhistle]

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS....GO OUT THERE AND HELP HER BUD!!!!

I was thinking "tending her roses" might be code .

No....that's called Steming The Rose.

 

[dilloduck]

GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS....GO OUT THERE AND HELP HER BUD!!!!

I was thinking "tending her roses" might be code .

No....that's called Steming The Rose.

either way it was a touching story-----I guess married folk must get a little pissed about the whole FWB thingy tho.

 

[William Joyce]

Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Why do you suppose these are not "Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using HIM for your own personal gratification."

IMHO FWB is a Female Contrivance, not something Men Invented.

This is probably right, contra all the "those nasty men came up with this." FWB would NEVER HAPPEN without female consent, yea, female encouragement. FWB is sort of what men want -- but oughtn't have, really. It's the woman's job to lay down the law and insist on something more than screwing. When women abdicate that duty, shit really starts to fall apart.

The whole "Sex and the City" propaganda line is yet more Jewish culture-warping that's pretty much their version of Auschwitz for white gentiles.

 

[mudwhistle]

I was thinking "tending her roses" might be code .

No....that's called Steming The Rose.

either way it was a touching story-----I guess married folk must get a little pissed about the whole FWB thingy tho.

Yes....

 

[Stainmaster]

She has expressed a postive attude on the subject of friends with benefits, but like myself has no experience. We are as interested as anyone else here to read posts.

In my experience, it sort of sucks. It makes friendships awkward... the relationship is changed permanently and going back to being "just friends" doesn't really work out.

Then don't fuck her.

You don't have to screw every girl that makes you horny.

I can't stand a meaningless fuck.

I like it to be a close personal experience.

But just having sex shouldn't mean you own someone or are obligated....but it does mean a level of trust exists.

Do you even know the subject of the thread you are posting in?

 

[dilloduck]

Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Why do you suppose these are not "Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using HIM for your own personal gratification."

IMHO FWB is a Female Contrivance, not something Men Invented.

This is probably right, contra all the "those nasty men came up with this." FWB would NEVER HAPPEN without female consent, yea, female encouragement. FWB is sort of what men want -- but oughtn't have, really. It's the woman's job to lay down the law and insist on something more than screwing. When women abdicate that duty, shit really starts to fall apart.

The whole "Sex and the City" propaganda line is yet more Jewish culture-warping that's pretty much their version of Auschwitz for white gentiles.

damn---and we even had Jillian liking the idea for a sec.

 

[Stainmaster]

This is the silliest idea I have seen on the web:

A) Even if you are 5', ugly and fat some gal will go into heat over you so FWB doesn't work women chase men that are seen as taken. I weigh 260 and I am 57 but I still get episodes of being chased probably because my 32 year marriage is still going strong. This is a very common problem because women out number men by a huge margin.

B) What's the point? Bi-girls, wannabe sugarbabies, single women taking care of a disabled mom, dad or child and many others are a dime a dozen. So if you want to have steady sex with low or no commitment and no long set of rules there are plenty of women out there and you don't have to look that hard to find them. You can set up your own low rent harem if that appeals to you so why go to all of this bother?

Sorry, 32 years of marriage kind of removes you from the critics chair on an idea that has only come along in the last ten years or so. What I am saying is that this is a good time for you to read, not post.

 

[mudwhistle]

In my experience, it sort of sucks. It makes friendships awkward... the relationship is changed permanently and going back to being "just friends" doesn't really work out.

Then don't fuck her.

You don't have to screw every girl that makes you horny.

I can't stand a meaningless fuck.

I like it to be a close personal experience.

But just having sex shouldn't mean you own someone or are obligated....but it does mean a level of trust exists.

Do you even know the subject of the thread you are posting in?

I believe I know it and understand it better then you do.

If your post was tongue in cheek...obviously it wasn't all that funny to many here.

 

[mudwhistle]

This is the silliest idea I have seen on the web:

A) Even if you are 5', ugly and fat some gal will go into heat over you so FWB doesn't work women chase men that are seen as taken. I weigh 260 and I am 57 but I still get episodes of being chased probably because my 32 year marriage is still going strong. This is a very common problem because women out number men by a huge margin.

B) What's the point? Bi-girls, wannabe sugarbabies, single women taking care of a disabled mom, dad or child and many others are a dime a dozen. So if you want to have steady sex with low or no commitment and no long set of rules there are plenty of women out there and you don't have to look that hard to find them. You can set up your own low rent harem if that appeals to you so why go to all of this bother?

Sorry, 32 years of marriage kind of removes you from the critics chair on an idea that has only come along in the last ten years or so. What I am saying is that this is a good time for you to read, not post.

DUDE....this concept was originated back in the 60s.

Only then many friends with benefits got together in communes and dressed up in bell-bottoms and tie-die shirts...smoking dope and dropping acid.

Which kind of explains why the Democrats in Washington act like they're high all of the time.

 

[Stainmaster]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I thought that's what roofies and whores were for.

How silly to think that one can have a long term sexual relationship with another person that won't end up with emotional entanglements.

I think we boomers tried this kind of relationship and rejected this theory during the sexual revolution.

I don't know a single person whose ever had a relationship like this that lasted or didn't become emotionally difficult.

Zipless fucks, yes, those seem to work, but long term sexual relationships that are kept at an arm's length emotional relationsip?

I'd say those are fairly rare events.

Boomers huh? Your generation had Woodstock, and now you are Tea Baggers. This is our thing. You are welcome to read, and give it a try if you like. Better yet, why not go listen to your old Fleetwood Mac vinyl!

 

[Stainmaster]

"Arts and Crafts"




Maybe someone can knit a shirt for Stain?

Deep cut, V-neck please, I like to show skin!

 

[jillian]

Sorry, 32 years of marriage kind of removes you from the critics chair on an idea that has only come along in the last ten years or so. What I am saying is that this is a good time for you to read, not post

you think you invented friends with benefits? iol... the only difference is none of the women i know would have had the low self-esteem to accept the removal of the friendship from the benefits.

 

[dilloduck]

Sorry, 32 years of marriage kind of removes you from the critics chair on an idea that has only come along in the last ten years or so. What I am saying is that this is a good time for you to read, not post

you think you invented friends with benefits? iol... the only difference is none of the women i know would have had the low self-esteem to accept the removal of the friendship from the benefits.

A one nighter denotes low self esteem ?? awwwwww poop

 

[Stainmaster]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

Stainmaster, you seem to think your generation discovered casual sex. T'aint so. Mine did not coin the phrase "friends with benefits" but we DID coin the phrase "the zipless fuck". There was a great deal of uncommitted, casual sex of all sorts back in the day.

Most of us have given it up completely. Why? Well, some of us are in committed relationships, though our divorce rate has been startlingly high. But for those of us who are single, here are some drawbacks:

1) Sex between two people who don't know one another and don't want to is little more than mutual masterbation.

2) Casual sex carries a very high risk of STIs, and now that so many are incurable and fatal, that seems like a downside.

Your instructions seemed entirely geared at explaining to men how best to exploit women who care for them but lack the self-esteem to refuse sex without a commitment. When sex is adversarial, it strips the humanity off both genders and leaves everyone emotionally bankrupt. Casual sex as we envisioned it was never meant to be exploitive; if a chick and a dude want nothing more than a one-night stand, it's all good. If one or the other clearly wants more, going forward to bed was viewed as a grave sin and IMO, we were right about that.

I certainly hope you clue in to this nuance in human sexuality before your humanity is completely stripped away. 28 is a bit old to still be out man-whoring around.

I agree, I thought the authors tone was sexist, but the idea did get across. Madeline, what I am trying to figure out is why there is an impression that males are the great beneficiarys of FWB?

Now, you know I do not share a lot of information about myself personally, especially since I did not author this post. Few know I am 28. I am engaged to a feminist professional, I have not had sex with anyone else for nearly two years, but I could have with a male if I wanted to.

She has one trait that I have very much enjoyed seeing in your posts. Once she gets cranked up on something, she just takes off, and there is no stopping her! She says some of the most outrageous things to people, and does not care who they are! She makes me so happy! Fortunately, my boss's wife is the same way. This FWB is just something we are curious about, not something we want to try. We both believe in long engagements, both our parents married too young.

 

[mudwhistle]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I thought that's what roofies and whores were for.

How silly to think that one can have a long term sexual relationship with another person that won't end up with emotional entanglements.

I think we boomers tried this kind of relationship and rejected this theory during the sexual revolution.

I don't know a single person whose ever had a relationship like this that lasted or didn't become emotionally difficult.

Zipless fucks, yes, those seem to work, but long term sexual relationships that are kept at an arm's length emotional relationsip?

I'd say those are fairly rare events.

Boomers huh? Your generation had Woodstock, and now you are Tea Baggers. This is our thing. You are welcome to read, and give it a try if you like. Better yet, why not go listen to your old Fleetwood Mac vinyl!

WRONG

More like the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Steppenwolf.....etc.

 

[Stainmaster]

I think Stain is actually trying to impress us with what he hopes we will interpret to be as irresistibly studly qualities on his part.

Well if so, this thread has fallen flat. My first thought as I read his Op was "Why does Stainmaster hate women this much?"

I did not write it, I just posted it, with permission I might add!

All the women in our family are very strong and opinionated.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
I will marry this amazing friend, but neither of us are ready yet.​

 

[driveby]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I thought that's what roofies and whores were for.

How silly to think that one can have a long term sexual relationship with another person that won't end up with emotional entanglements.

I think we boomers tried this kind of relationship and rejected this theory during the sexual revolution.

I don't know a single person whose ever had a relationship like this that lasted or didn't become emotionally difficult.

Zipless fucks, yes, those seem to work, but long term sexual relationships that are kept at an arm's length emotional relationsip?

I'd say those are fairly rare events.

Boomers huh? Your generation had Woodstock, and now you are Tea Baggers. This is our thing. You are welcome to read, and give it a try if you like. Better yet, why not go listen to your old Fleetwood Mac vinyl!

Teabagging must be your favorite benefit you receive .........

 

[Stainmaster]

These rules are not for "friends with benefits". There is nothing that smacks of friendship in these rules.
I've never had a FWB type relationship, but I've known others who have. It more or less seems to me to be a relationship (with the cuddling, sleeping over, ect) that both parties feel is still an open relationship. No commitment.

These rules are for men who want to use women.

Let me apologize for that. When putting this post together, I found there was very little written on FWB. There is a sexist quality to this author, but he did go deeper into the subject than anything else I found. I thought the provocative qualities would bring members into the subject, and it has. However, your point is well taken, please do not be offended.

 

[mudwhistle]

These rules are not for "friends with benefits". There is nothing that smacks of friendship in these rules.
I've never had a FWB type relationship, but I've known others who have. It more or less seems to me to be a relationship (with the cuddling, sleeping over, ect) that both parties feel is still an open relationship. No commitment.

These rules are for men who want to use women.

Let me apologize for that. When putting this post together, I found there was very little written on FWB. There is a sexist quality to this author, but he did go deeper into the subject than anything else I found. I thought the provocative qualities would bring members into the subject, and it has. However, your point is well taken, please do not be offended.

You did start a flame-zone. Lot's of responses.

Now how about putting on a shirt.

 

[Stainmaster]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

Bingo! This is what I have been hoping to hear, but was not sure I would.