Here are some rules, have you tried "friends with benefits?"

[dilloduck]

"Arts and Crafts"




Maybe someone can knit a shirt for Stain?

hey--pulling off a FWB relationship is an art.

 

[Anguille]

The only reason the OP is even necessary is that some women claim that they can pull off FWB but in reality few can do it without falling in love and wanting the committment. They're wired that way.

Maybe you've just been hanging out with the wrong sort of women. IMO, men end up getting just as attached as women, even when they don't intend to become attached.

 

[Madeline]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

Stainmaster, you seem to think your generation discovered casual sex. T'aint so. Mine did not coin the phrase "friends with benefits" but we DID coin the phrase "the zipless fuck". There was a great deal of uncommitted, casual sex of all sorts back in the day.

Most of us have given it up completely. Why? Well, some of us are in committed relationships, though our divorce rate has been startlingly high. But for those of us who are single, here are some drawbacks:

1) Sex between two people who don't know one another and don't want to is little more than mutual masterbation.

2) Casual sex carries a very high risk of STIs, and now that so many are incurable and fatal, that seems like a downside.

Your instructions seemed entirely geared at explaining to men how best to exploit women who care for them but lack the self-esteem to refuse sex without a commitment. When sex is adversarial, it strips the humanity off both genders and leaves everyone emotionally bankrupt. Casual sex as we envisioned it was never meant to be exploitive; if a chick and a dude want nothing more than a one-night stand, it's all good. If one or the other clearly wants more, going forward to bed was viewed as a grave sin and IMO, we were right about that.

I certainly hope you clue in to this nuance in human sexuality before your humanity is completely stripped away. 28 is a bit old to still be out man-whoring around.

 

[Anguille]

I think Stain is actually trying to impress us with what he hopes we will interpret to be as irresistibly studly qualities on his part.

 

[Madeline]

I think Stain is actually trying to impress us with what he hopes we will interpret to be as irresistibly studly qualities on his part.

Well if so, this thread has fallen flat. My first thought as I read his Op was "Why does Stainmaster hate women this much?"

 

[Anguille]

"Arts and Crafts"




Maybe someone can knit a shirt for Stain?

But that might scare him. He'd think he was being entrapped into a relationship if he wore it.

 

[Samson]

"Arts and Crafts"




Maybe someone can knit a shirt for Stain?

I'll donate my chest hair.

 

[Madeline]

Samson, NO!!!! LOL. I am a huge fan of chest hair (on men).

Just give him a octoporn movie to masterbate to, and save some poor young woman a terrible experience. Stainmaster doesn't see any value in relating to those he fucks, so why even bother with a second human at all?

 

[mystic]

These rules are not for "friends with benefits". There is nothing that smacks of friendship in these rules.
I've never had a FWB type relationship, but I've known others who have. It more or less seems to me to be a relationship (with the cuddling, sleeping over, ect) that both parties feel is still an open relationship. No commitment.

These rules are for men who want to use women.

 

[dilloduck]

The only reason the OP is even necessary is that some women claim that they can pull off FWB but in reality few can do it without falling in love and wanting the committment. They're wired that way.

Maybe you've just been hanging out with the wrong sort of women. IMO, men end up getting just as attached as women, even when they don't intend to become attached.

Oh please---this doesnt have anything thing to do with right or wrong person.
It's nearly tongue in cheek advice on how to try to engage in casual sex without the emotional involvment.

 

[Anguille]

The only reason the OP is even necessary is that some women claim that they can pull off FWB but in reality few can do it without falling in love and wanting the committment. They're wired that way.

Maybe you've just been hanging out with the wrong sort of women. IMO, men end up getting just as attached as women, even when they don't intend to become attached.

Oh please---this doesnt have anything thing to do with right or wrong person.
It's nearly tongue in cheek advice on how to try to engage in casual sex without the emotional involvment.

Bickering with me already? This friends with benefits deal we have with each other seems to be too much for you to handle.

 

[rikules]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

 

[dilloduck]

Maybe you've just been hanging out with the wrong sort of women. IMO, men end up getting just as attached as women, even when they don't intend to become attached.

Oh please---this doesnt have anything thing to do with right or wrong person.
It's nearly tongue in cheek advice on how to try to engage in casual sex without the emotional involvment.

Bickering with me already? This friends with benefits deal we have with each other seems to be too much for you to handle.

Which is exactly why I moved on and you have no excuses to come back over like " I left my toothbrush your bathroom". I hate to see you grovel anyway.

See how handy that OP advice is ?

 

[jillian]

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

that's beautiful...

and it didn't happen because of teh rules in the O/P. it happened because you kept the friendship along with the benefits.

 

[dilloduck]

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

that's beautiful...

and it didn't happen because of teh rules in the O/P. it happened because you kept the friendship along with the benefits.

love will overcome FWB naturally if not forced on someone.

 

[Anguille]

Oh please---this doesnt have anything thing to do with right or wrong person.
It's nearly tongue in cheek advice on how to try to engage in casual sex without the emotional involvment.

Bickering with me already? This friends with benefits deal we have with each other seems to be too much for you to handle.

Which is exactly why I moved on and you have no excuses to come back over like " I left my toothbrush your bathroom". I hate to see you grovel anyway.

See how handy that OP advice is ?

You could have at least bought me a new toothbrush after you insisted on having that one gilded and keeping it as a memento.

 

[dilloduck]

Bickering with me already? This friends with benefits deal we have with each other seems to be too much for you to handle.

Which is exactly why I moved on and you have no excuses to come back over like " I left my toothbrush your bathroom". I hate to see you grovel anyway.

See how handy that OP advice is ?

You could have at least bought me a new toothbrush after you insisted on having that one gilded and keeping it as a memento.

Buying a woman a toothbrush implies deep concern that man doesn't want to convey to a FWB.

 

[mudwhistle]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS....GO OUT THERE AND HELP HER BUD!!!!

 

[dilloduck]

Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

10 Rules For Being "Friends With Benefits"

I was in a friends with benefits relationship for awhile...

about 3 years, actually...

then
one day
as we were watching a movie on tv
on a sturday afternoon
she sitting on the couch
me with my head in her lap....

it sort of donned me....

she wasn't just my best friend....

I was deeply in love!

that was about 17 years ago

and right now she is out in our garden tending her roses....

GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS....GO OUT THERE AND HELP HER BUD!!!!

I was thinking "tending her roses" might be code .

 

[mudwhistle]

"Arts and Crafts"




Maybe someone can knit a shirt for Stain?

I'll donate my chest hair.

All 4 of them.