Got a Life Question for you Guys

[Moonglow]

She'll be back from vacation this Wed.

I am nervous. Not nervous if she says no...

...but if she says yes.

I wonder if this is how those tiny male spiders feel when attempting to appease a larger, female mate? I'm a big mesomorph. She's petite and just nice and sweet. It's really silly how I feel nervous about just asking her out for coffee. I want to meet a lady who's looking for love, not lust. I'm not the kind of guy who just looks to bang women and 'score points.' Some of the guys I work with have said they thought I was a guy like that, because of how I look, and one of them still thinks I'm lying when I tell him I'm waiting until marriage.

I've never been in love before. I don't know if I am in love. I do know I enjoy her company, and I know she definitely knows that. I need to stop over-thinking things so much: trying not to get ahead of myself. Just ask her out for coffee, and see how it goes, and make sure you have fun if she says yes.

Sounds like you are ready to ruin your life with a long term relationship....Enjoy...

 

[Votto]

She'll be back from vacation this Wed.

I am nervous. Not nervous if she says no...

...but if she says yes.

I wonder if this is how those tiny male spiders feel when attempting to appease a larger, female mate? I'm a big mesomorph. She's petite and just nice and sweet. It's really silly how I feel nervous about just asking her out for coffee. I want to meet a lady who's looking for love, not lust. I'm not the kind of guy who just looks to bang women and 'score points.' Some of the guys I work with have said they thought I was a guy like that, because of how I look, and one of them still thinks I'm lying when I tell him I'm waiting until marriage.

I've never been in love before. I don't know if I am in love. I do know I enjoy her company, and I know she definitely knows that. I need to stop over-thinking things so much: trying not to get ahead of myself. Just ask her out for coffee, and see how it goes, and make sure you have fun if she says yes.

Sounds like you are ready to ruin your life with a long term relationship....Enjoy...

Leave him be.

Fundamentally screwing up your life is an essential human right of passage.

 

[browsing deer]

Just be glad you are not a male arachnied. Or a mantis. But they go up and do it.

I am sure she is anxiosly waiting for you. She may even be a bit upset with you taking so long. Don't makr her angry by delaying further

 

[Moonglow]

She'll be back from vacation this Wed.

I am nervous. Not nervous if she says no...

...but if she says yes.

I wonder if this is how those tiny male spiders feel when attempting to appease a larger, female mate? I'm a big mesomorph. She's petite and just nice and sweet. It's really silly how I feel nervous about just asking her out for coffee. I want to meet a lady who's looking for love, not lust. I'm not the kind of guy who just looks to bang women and 'score points.' Some of the guys I work with have said they thought I was a guy like that, because of how I look, and one of them still thinks I'm lying when I tell him I'm waiting until marriage.

I've never been in love before. I don't know if I am in love. I do know I enjoy her company, and I know she definitely knows that. I need to stop over-thinking things so much: trying not to get ahead of myself. Just ask her out for coffee, and see how it goes, and make sure you have fun if she says yes.

Sounds like you are ready to ruin your life with a long term relationship....Enjoy...

Leave him be.

Fundamentally screwing up your life is an essential human right of passage.

Live and learn, eh? Hopefully his experience will not cause him to become ghey...

 

[Zoom-boing]

It's better to ask and know than to not ask and always wonder.

Just be yourself and don't sweat the small stuff.

Relax and have fun!

 

[Wake]

It's better to ask and know than to not ask and always wonder.

Just be yourself and don't sweat the small stuff.

Relax and have fun!

This!

I just need to not let my feelings of nervousness get to me.

You're absolutely right.

 

[Moonglow]

If you don't ask her out she will ask around to see if you are ghye...

 

[MeBelle]

Wake Check your company policies about fraternization.

 

[Moonglow]

Wake Check your company policies about fraternization.

That's rather archaic...

 

[Care4all]

I befriended, then dated, then married a coworker and soulmate... he was a chicken sh*t like you...somehow, I intimidated him...he was just scared of me or scared of me saying 'no'??? Anyway, I had to take matters in to my own hands and invited him to go out after work with another coworker of ours....as friends.... it worked!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Go for it! She's told you YES already...in so many words....

 

[Wake]

While at work today I asked the young lady if she'd like to eat lunch with me in the cafeteria.

She said yes.

We ate together, and after lunch I asked her if she'd like to have coffee with me sometime.

Her eyes widened and she blushed. She asked if she meant as friends, or something more.

I gently told her something more.

She said that she's not looking for a real relationship at the moment, because she is putting her nursing schooling first.

She did say, though, that if she was not going through school she would definitely say yes.

I feel a bit sad, but I want to stay friends with her, and I do plan to ask her the next time I see her if, maybe, once we're both done with the pressures of school, if she'd like to go out for that cup of coffee.

Getting over feeling sad, refocusing much more onto schooling, and am planning to ask her gently if, should these school issues resolve, if she'd be interested, and maybe, maybe... wait for me? I felt the sadness of that rejection, but it's a reasonable one, and I respect her and it, and it feels like a silver lining was given, that once she does get done with school and is a nurse, we could have something serious. That's the feeling I got based on exactly how she reacted. I'm going to let her know that I want to be more of a friend of hers, and let her know that I would like to date her when she is ready, and see if she'd like that idea, too.

To be honest, I have been the exact same way for a long, long time. I have been putting off dating for the sake of school.

 

[browsing deer]

Hey, coffee on a regular basis is good. No pressure

 

[Zoom-boing]

Just hang out at work, have lunch or coffee together sometimes and maybe once in awhile, if something comes up like a local fair or something like that, ask her if she'd want to go with you and check it out. Just keep it laid back, no pressure, just friends, invite other people to go along as well, group type of thing. Being good friends first creates a strong base and if things don't progress to more than friends, you've still got the friendship. Good luck!

 

[shadow355]

Let's say you work at a hospital.

You've worked there seven months with a particular young lady who is kind and friendly with you.

Never had any problems between you and her, and you get along pretty well actually.

Say she's flirted with you at times, and you've been a gentle and respectful young man. Kind, too.

Is it ever appropriate to ask a young lady and coworker out on a date?

Let's get more detailed.

She's overtly hinted with her female coworkers while you're in the same room that she's single and looking for a good man to fall in love with. She literally said, yesterday, that 'the man needs to pursue the woman,' and it was like she was directing her voice towards me while I had my back to her over in the corner of the pharmacy restocking med carts. A month ago when she left the nurse's station to go home I spoke with a fellow CNA about her, just talking about how nice of a person she is. Right there only a second after that the fellow coworker takes out her iPhone and texts something. Then the young lady I like comes back up the stairs wide-eyed and smiling, just wanting to talk. [I may be a big brute, but I do hold the skill of discernment].

She's petite, very smart, goofy, sweet, cute, kind, precocious, and beautiful.

I have not asked her out, because I have not ever asked a young lady out, and I am... well... I am shy.

I don't know how she may react. I don't know if it would be creepy if I just, when we're talking, ask her gently if she'd like to go out for dinner with me, my treat. I just want to fall in love with a loving young lady, propose to her, marry her, and live happily ever after. Not the typical male dude who treats women poorly or like pieces of meat to be emotionally manipulated. I hate that shit with a passion. I'm a gentle giant, and I feel like I'm ready to find a loving wife. I mean, dang, I'm 27 here, muscular, on a good career path, out of trouble, and studying like hell to go from CNA to RN.

Opportunities to make connections with young ladies have come and went. If she's really the one, I don't want to let this opportunity slip from my fingers. Her personality is just so attractive and beautiful. What should I do? I'm just frickin' bashful, damn it. What compounds things is that at the hospital I work the male to female ratio is 1:22. I have four female friends I work with that play match-maker! FOUR. Every time I go down for frickin' lunch I've got one of them and three other female coworkers coming to sit with me to eat and talk. And what's worse is that some of these nice ladies are sassy! They make cute jokes about how I'm not married yet, always hinting! It's like they're analyzing me, asking me questions [personal questions] and making suggestions on who I should date here! Then I start blushing and then they start giggling hysterically, then I compose myself and try to maintain my calm, mature voice. Damn it all.

What do I do?

I do have feelings for this one young lady. What should I do? Should I 'pursue her' and gently ask her out for supper? Do I really need to feel so afraid, shy, and bashful? If you're female and reading this, could you please help me out here? Guys, what do you think, too? More than a few times she's 'voiced' in my vicinity that she's hoping to find a good man to fall in live with and marry. And this always happens when I'm the only guy in the area. Maybe I'm just stupid when it comes to picking up on subtle female cues of interest. She is very, very nice to me... Maybe I shouldn't be afraid?

I was a EMS Professional in a Metropolitan area about 30 minutes south of where I currently work.

I had an older lady, in her 50s about 18 years ago, look at me and laugh when I transferred her from the EMS cot to the bed. Somewhat heavy, when me and my partner transferred ( by lifting the sheets she was on on the cot ) her I sort of went with her. She looked at me and laughed - "This is the first time in 10 years I have had a man in bed with me." ( paraphrased - similar comment )

I went to the hospital to transfer a guy from the hospital to another location. His daughter was there. I seen her the first time, and I locked up. I knew the face and could not put a face with it. She looked at me and smiled, extending her hand to shake mine. She said her name and we shook hands. She was...and still is a "State" Judge as I will describe. Her husband and her was just in a small bit of trouble concerning an aircraft.

I was in a Trauma Hospital, stuck in "Triage". The City EMS brought in a lady on a cot. She too was stuck in "Triage" till we could get a bed. The lady kept yelling and ranting.....something sexual or romantic thoughts about the school ( and still current ) superintendent.

A hospital in the south-west sector, I had two older nurses.....Both in their late 40's, maybe early 50's at the time. I was in my early thirty's. They frequently flirted with me.

My EMS partner when I was a Medic Student in the Northwest sector ; frequently mentioned a red haired nurse at the Trauma ER in the central sector. I did not know that they knew each other. Soon, the red haired nurse was taking some sort of painting class with my mother in the county seat where I am from. Was it so the red haired nurse could get info directly or indirectly from my mother? A sandy-haired blonde nurse I worked with in the year 2003 was walking by a doctors office ; she was walking east - in the plant medical department...and mentioned the red haired nurses name to me in an intimidating manner one day when I was walking out from my physical. Starting back in the year 2003 and about six years previous, it was "flirting" with me by nurses whom were at least 12 to 15 years older than I was. Multiple nurses at the trauma hospital = central sector, and the south-west sector. Geeze bad guys......don't over do it.

I start working at my current job and a dark blonde nurse, whom looks similar to two nurses I worked with at my previous job, at the hospital in the central sector ; starts harmless flirting...but is careful of how and when she does it. She too - years older than me. She try's to make me jealous, just like the sandy haired blonde nurse that she works with ; but the two nurses.....dark blonde and sandy blonde haired nurses...PRETEND to despise each other. The not liking each other - not getting along TACTIC.....still occurs.

Plant North at Gate three, a red haired Human Resources is all "Giggly" around me. She too, has red hair.

A vendor whom visits the plant, she is a supervisor for thee company whom buys cleaning supplies for our janitors. She is skinny, red hair, and drives a vehicle with a Harley Davidson emblem. She has really bright eyes and a knee weakening smile. She visits the plant most of the time.....WHEN I WORK the gate. She wears tight pants and tight shirts. A line is drawn between her and my current manager.......Do they know each other, and have met each other previously? Is appears so.

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I mentioned previously about dating co-workers at my previous job. Not exactly a good thing, UNLESS you are one of two characters in my second book I am writing.

If it does not work, will one or both adults smear each other at work? Will their public and private lives become a social agenda in the work place. Some people are adults, and some people...both male and female feel embarrassment from a failed relationship. It happens. One or both are at fault and the mudslinging goes both directions.

Damage Control can be a pain in the rear end. Some people go back years and try to justify, by saying I am sorry. Sorry does not cut it ! Sorry does not provide answers or solutions. The rewind and come up with solutions, or try to come up with a solution for failure. If the battle is successful, they win. If the battle is not successful..... they try to kiss and make up - this keep them in the loop and keeps intelligence coming in. SO BE CAREFUL whom you trust and confide in. I have personally witnessed many and numerous times in the past, of people whom got acquainted with me.....then for some odd reason ; medical problem, overuse of prescription drugs...whatever the reason - then they started yelling at me and told me to stay away from them. One I had someone talk to me like I was a dog, then they called me on the phone wanting to make amends. ABSOLUELY not ! Take your spy schit somewhere else, too bad you did not accomplish your mission of trying to get me to accept drugs - go out with certain women - lie and commit perjury.....ect..ect. Are you so desperate that you have to "Frame" someone to prove your point / insinuations / started rumors..... that you and possibly others have made.

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If I asked someone out on a date at work, I would have someone I trust around, so just in case you did not know them as well as you thought you did ; they would not yell and scream work place harassment. I would rather ask them out away from work ; and in person - as the phone to me seems odd and the success of actual getting a date are better if you ask in person.

"SOME" people, although there is smiles and conversation ; you really do not know. Them, their background, their growing up and what kind of a household they are use to. You don't know their temperament ; their history...if any. So you have to tread lightly, very lightly when comes to asking someone out. Smiles, conversations, professional relationships.....can all be false and misleading.

Me, myself. maybe a dinner, a trip to a carnival or something like that. But I am not interested in a relationship. I had a marriage once, and that is the first and last one.

Shadow 355