Gettin Old.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, May 23, 2006.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

    The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

    "No," he replied, "arthritis."
     
  2. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Three old guys are out walking.
    First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
    Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
    Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
     
  3. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
    They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
    His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
    "To the kitchen" he replies.
    "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
    "Sure."
    "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
    "No, I can remember it."
    "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you 'll forget it."
    He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
    "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.
    Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember It!
    Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
    After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

    She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?
     
  4. CSM
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    CSM Senior Member

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    I fail to see the humor in any of the above jokes.
     
  5. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    :rotflmao: I know, humor for some, reality for others. ;)
     
  6. JOKER96BRAVO
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    JOKER96BRAVO Senior Member

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    Mr. P does your wife know that your posting stories about you and her?
     
  7. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JOKER96BRAVO again.

    :beer:
     
  8. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Butt-head! Both of ya! :teeth:
     
  9. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Another for ya CSM... :)

    Night Light



    An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
    normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great.



    How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"



    George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I'm done, poof! the light goes off."



    "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

    A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.

    "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

    "Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
     
  10. CSM
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    CSM Senior Member

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    And that is funny how? I have gotten used to my refrigerator smelling like an outhouse!
     

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