Employee Language

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Jul 8, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    Employee Language



    Attn: All Employees
    >>>>
    >>>>Subj: Swearing at Work
    >>>>
    >>>>It has been brought to management's attention that some
    >>>individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the
    >>>course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
    >>>>received from some employees who may be easily offended, this
    >>>type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize
    >>>the critical importance of being able to accurately express your
    >>>feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and
    >>>>information can continue in an effective manner.
    >>>>
    >>>>
    >>>>1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
    >>>>
    >>>>2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b****.
    >>>>
    >>>>3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
    >>>>
    >>>>4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.
    >>>>
    >>>>5) TRY SAYING: Really?
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: You've got to be s****ing me!
    >>>>
    >>>>6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with.......
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a s****.
    >>>>
    >>>>7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.
    >>>>
    >>>>8) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: This s*** won't work.
    >>>>
    >>>>9) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: Why the h*** didn't you tell me sooner?
    >>>>
    >>>>10) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
    >>>>
    >>>>11) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: Eat s*** and die.
    >>>>
    >>>>12) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
    >>>>
    >>>>13) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
    >>>>
    >>>>14) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: This job sucks
    >>>>
    >>>>15) TRY SAYING) You want me to take care of that?
    >>>>INSTEAD OF: Who the h*** died and made you boss?
     
  2. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    So funny!! :D
     
  3. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    I heard the audio version of this a while back on my favorite morning show. It's still funny though
     

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