- Sep 16, 2012
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No one knows all of what happened that night and we never will. That is not what this thread is about.Regardless of the politics, one thing became very clear, not only with Dr. Ford's testimony but with the accusation against Roy Moore. Our girls need to be taught that if they are assaulted, they need to "tell," right then and there. Our boys need to be taught that sexual pleasure cannot be a game of force. And all kids need to have frank discussions with adults they trust about what drinking too much can lead to. Not preaching, but honestly talking about it.
Many of us at USMB are parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or have close relationships with young people who apparently need to hear the message. It is up to us to steer kids right.
Girls need to understand that even if they made the mistake of going to an underage drinking party and maybe drank too much, it is not a boy's right to force her to do anything against her will. Boys need to understand that girls' privacy and preference needs to be respected. Assault is assault. Boys don't feel that if they drink too much at a party, others have the right to break their nose; there is only a difference because women's rights to their sexuality has not completely moved from the Dark Ages yet.
Hopefully a lot of parents have used this as a teachable moment. Waiting 30 years to tell someone that you were sexually assaulted, whether it was a drunk boy at a party or a priest, is waiting too long. And there is no reason to wait, no reason to be ashamed or afraid.
My question for you is, if a boy and girl both get so blottoed that neither of them can barely remember what happened. . .
. . . let's say they then have sex. He doesn't mean to, he doesn't even really know what happened, they were both just terribly drunk and kissing, making out heavy, last thing he remembered. . . .
. . . her, the same. . . .
The next morning she goes home and feels awful about herself, what she did, how much she drank, the blacking out, all of it. She makes the decision that he took advantage of her and raped her. She notifies him.
To be honest? He doesn't even remember much about the previous night. Girls simply do not understand there is no "forcing" going on. These institutions are taking the position that if a girls cannot remember the act, it is "non-consensual," yet if the guy cannot remember the act? Well, they don't give them the same courtesy. Why the double standard?
I have heard this tale over and over when I was a crisis counselor at University. Now, YOU TELL ME, why is the onus of all this responsibility, all on the guy? Especially if he doesn't remember doing anything anymore than she does?
Is it possible this is what happened that night?
As for girls who have second thoughts the next day, I have never personally known a woman to absolve herself of guilt by crying rape. Most young women are pretty matter of fact about sexual relations these days. I have heard lots of men use it as an excuse for rape allegations. I wonder if all these girls who felt so ashamed the next day REALLY "made the decision that he took advantage of her and raped her." Or did you decide that was what going on, based on your sympathy for the boy in the situation?
Men are larger, stronger and they have the penis. They are responsible for keeping that penis where it belongs. There is no way to tell if a person is so drunk they won't remember it later, but there is certainly a way to tell if they are shit faced drunk. Why you would even want to go to bed with that, I don't know, except I know you guys will fuck a knothole when the mood is upon you.
Sorry, Mr Beale. Not buying it.
Well, I've had girls tell me that, in confidence, so it isn't for sale. It happens every day, your denial doesn't make it not true.
. . . and if a boy gets so drunk that he doesn't know what he is doing? My sympathy is limited. It is one of the reasons I didn't go in for the Greek culture or hook up culture, I knew what it was all about. You are so naive.
But it is nice to know where you stand. Indeed, if this happens, you believe it is because he is larger, stronger and has the penis, it is prima facie automatically, his fault. Girls bear no responsibility for their behavior, ever. They are fee to be irresponsible with all the dangers of the world.
It is no wonder political operatives used this particular issue to create a political divide the electorate. It is also a disgusting shame. American women don't want true equality and responsibility it seems. They are looking to be treated as victims, even when they make mistakes, they don't want to have any accountability.