WASHINGTON, D.C.—While battling the darkest monster from the pit of hell, known as "COVID," Donald the Orange fell to his doom several days ago, sacrificing himself to save America from the deadly demon.
So Americans were ecstatic to learn that Donald the Orange had returned in a new, better form, now known as Donald the White. A brilliant white light shone from Walter Reed Medical Center as Donald the White emerged just in time to save America from COVID, Antifa, and the Deep State.
"I come back to you now at the turn of the tide!" he cried as he rode triumphantly out in the presidential limousine, codenamed "Shadowfax," cutting right through the ravenous hordes of Antifa counterprotesters blocking the way.
"Donald! Donald the Orange!" cried his supporters outside Walter Reed Medical Center.
"Yes..." he said as he sat in the back of Shadowfax. "Yes... Donald the Orange... that is what they used to call me." The newly revived president has a newfound passion for life and even more energy than before, though sources say he's also taken up smoking.
Donald the White says he will use his newfound powers to patrol the U.S.-Mexico border, shouting at would-be immigrants, "You shall not pass!"
From the Bee
