Xchel
Active Member
Sky and US citizen, hats off for you to be able to talk so openly about depression. Many people aren't able to do that, like me..I really don't like talking about it. I have to say though there is a difference in depression which all of us get at traumatic moments in our life and clinical chronic depression which is an actual illness that needs serious and intensive treatment. I was diagnosed with depression, pills didn't help much they messed me up more than they helped me so I put them in the trash can and started dealing with it in a different way. Yes, political boards, face book things that keep me occupied. Looking in the mirror each morning and telling myself the positive things in my life and avoiding the negative ones. At age 13 when my grandparents got a divorce I did the try to kill myself with pills thing..it didn't work so well. When I was older as an adult and having to deal with my mom's death from cancer, the guilt I felt for her death and the fact that I was relieved when she died, a marriage that was on the rocks and other things...I tried again in 2001, this time cutting my wrists pretty deeply and actually getting both veins..I was dead serious when I did it, busted pictures and cut myself on purpose with the glass from those pictures...I cried and locked myself in the room really truly wanting it to just end. I don't think that way anymore..and that is with the stress of a divorce on me which is difficult, but I have my way of dealing with it...living is valuable to me and I know it. When I can't deal with my feelings I go for a long walk and sort it out. When I can't shake the blue feeling I play music that either makes me happy or relaxes me so I can take a nap. I talk on the phone, get on the computer, whatever as long as I stay busy. I do not take pills ever....and won't. Do I still get down about my mom being gone? Yeah a whole lot...just the other day bawled my eyes out on the phone with someone and she died in 1998 but it feels like yesterday to me. I am fine, I didn't win the battle yet...the day a person can actually say she beat depression is when I die from natural causes. You never beat depression, you just fight it and overcome it on a daily basis. I am done now..had my two cents and probably talked more about my personal life than I wanted to.