Ray9
Diamond Member
- Jul 19, 2016
- 2,707
- 4,474
- 1,970
- Banned
- #1
Someone must defend the great Alan Dershowitz from his awful accusers so I will do it. Alan Dershowitz is a wonderful college educated lawyer who came to fame as part of the dream team that got OJ Simpson off after he was apparently framed by just about everyone in Los Angeles county from DNA specialists, detectives, beat police, eyewitnesses and anyone in the state of California with normal intelligence.
It isnât clear if it was Dershowitzâs idea to stack the jury with dullards who struggled with the concept of ABC and then were expected decide a case based on DNA, but itâs a good bet. Old Alan has got quite the brain you know which is why I am defending him. Is it a crime to have a big legal brain? You decide.
Well, old Alan has got himself in a terrible jam over his mutual friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, a rich, well-connected, convicted sex offender who recently committed a very convenient Vince-Foster-like suicide. No one knows exactly how Epstein strangled himself and his acquaintance with Dershowitz should have been a non-event. But Epstein was kind of a Walt Disney of high-altitude group sex on a Boeing 727 converted from a 200-seating capacity to a flying motel and Dershowitzâs name is on the flight logs over-and-over-and-over-again.
Dershowitz, being a big legal scholar, has stated that his relationship with Epstein was purely academic so we can assume that old Alan sat between the beds diligently reading lawbooks and then debated the finer points of jurisprudence with Epstein between Jeffreyâs sessions with underage teen girls.
Now, when they got to Epsteinâs private island, I am reasonably sure that old Alan hurriedly deplaned, nearly knocking over Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. He then probably ran past a colossal watering statue of Roman Polanski, ignored the sunbathing teenage nymphs on the beach, hardly noticed the prepaid communal brothel and headed straight for the law library. His argument that he is not like the others must be vigorously defended!
Most in Dershowitzâs predicament would be cautiously silent but old Alan has been making the rounds on cable TV as a paid legal expert and the voice of reason. Itâs a clever strategy-kind of like one of those aquatic creatures in the ocean that covers itself with a shell to disguise and blend in to escape notice.
I rest my case on old Alan.
It isnât clear if it was Dershowitzâs idea to stack the jury with dullards who struggled with the concept of ABC and then were expected decide a case based on DNA, but itâs a good bet. Old Alan has got quite the brain you know which is why I am defending him. Is it a crime to have a big legal brain? You decide.
Well, old Alan has got himself in a terrible jam over his mutual friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, a rich, well-connected, convicted sex offender who recently committed a very convenient Vince-Foster-like suicide. No one knows exactly how Epstein strangled himself and his acquaintance with Dershowitz should have been a non-event. But Epstein was kind of a Walt Disney of high-altitude group sex on a Boeing 727 converted from a 200-seating capacity to a flying motel and Dershowitzâs name is on the flight logs over-and-over-and-over-again.
Dershowitz, being a big legal scholar, has stated that his relationship with Epstein was purely academic so we can assume that old Alan sat between the beds diligently reading lawbooks and then debated the finer points of jurisprudence with Epstein between Jeffreyâs sessions with underage teen girls.
Now, when they got to Epsteinâs private island, I am reasonably sure that old Alan hurriedly deplaned, nearly knocking over Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. He then probably ran past a colossal watering statue of Roman Polanski, ignored the sunbathing teenage nymphs on the beach, hardly noticed the prepaid communal brothel and headed straight for the law library. His argument that he is not like the others must be vigorously defended!
Most in Dershowitzâs predicament would be cautiously silent but old Alan has been making the rounds on cable TV as a paid legal expert and the voice of reason. Itâs a clever strategy-kind of like one of those aquatic creatures in the ocean that covers itself with a shell to disguise and blend in to escape notice.
I rest my case on old Alan.
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