The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone. "Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week." Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ...." Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK?" Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches diameter. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans." Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches diameter, exactly as requested... All coloured with Union Jacks with the following written on each one: MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL.