Ask Big Black Dog

[Big Black Dog]

As a service to mankind, and since Dear Abby croaked, I have decided to start up an on-line advice service to replace the lady who had an answer for just about every issue. I consider myself to have a vast knowledge of just about every issue you can imagine and there is no better opinion than my own, so, feel free to ask those questions that seem to have you on edge or inquire about just about any problem. I do not charge for this valuable service. Just remember, you get what you pay for in life.

So, go right ahead - Ask Big Black Dog.

 

[mnbasketball]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

 

[Jeremy]

Dear BBD,

How can I keep my pecker from freezing to the ground when my owner lets me out to pee?

 

[Ringel05]

Damn BBD. I see the nutcases are on the line first! Go figure......

 

[JBeukema]

Dear Dog:

One of the few places where I am still able to enjoy anything resembling honest discourse in the modern age has a terrible problem. This is a large dark canine that is constantly deficating and yapping when people are trying to have a discussion. the owner of the beast refuses to do anything. Should I poison or shoot the wretched hound?

Sincerely,
Anonymous

 

[Midnight Marauder]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

 

[Jeremy]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

Why do you ejaculate when you see a picture of Bawney Fwank in a thong?

 

[Jeremy]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

mnbasketball wants to know why middle class republicans are such douchebags...

Douchebags are in the eyes of the beholder, be them republicans or any other sort of political misfits. Remember, one man's douchebag is another man's hero. Now, how does a person become known as mnbasketball? Is it an indication of the size of your manlyness?

 

[mnbasketball]

I give up Jeremy, how do you do it? Does he turn you on that much? Post the picture you got and lets see if we can give you an answer, or big black dog might know the answer.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Wrong.

Actually, the mix was matter with antimatter, controlled through the dilithium matrix. Guess what was used as the matter? Deuterium! Know how they made it? Collecting free hydrogen molecules out of space through the Bussard collectors, and processing them into Deuterium in the warp nacelles, then storing it in the "Deuterium Tanks." Deuterium was also the main fuel for the impulse engines.

But, that's all science fiction. My question was not.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Dear BBD,

How can I keep my pecker from freezing to the ground when my owner lets me out to pee?

Jeremy want to know about how to keep his pecker from freezing to the ground when his owner lets him go outside to pee...

Interesting. My recommendation is to forget anything you ever knew about being housebroken until the temperature is at least about 32 degrees. If that isn't possible, quit laying down in the snow when you tinkle.

 

[Jeremy]

I give up Jeremy, how do you do it? Does he turn you on that much? Post the picture you got and lets see if we can give you an answer, or big black dog might know the answer.

(a.k.a. Minnesota Basketball)

 

[mnbasketball]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

mnbasketball wants to know why middle class republicans are such douchebags...

Douchebags are in the eyes of the beholder, be them republicans or any other sort of political misfits. Remember, one man's douchebag is another man's hero. Now, how does a person become known as mnbasketball? Is it an indication of the size of your manlyness?

No it comes from the fact that I needed a name for the board and I love college BB.

It's not what your manlyness can do anyway, it's what you can do with your fingers that makes the difference.

 

[Ringel05]

Why are middle class republicans such douchebags?

mnbasketball wants to know why middle class republicans are such douchebags...

Douchebags are in the eyes of the beholder, be them republicans or any other sort of political misfits. Remember, one man's douchebag is another man's hero. Now, how does a person become known as mnbasketball? Is it an indication of the size of your manlyness?

No it comes from the fact that I needed a name for the board and I love college BB.

It's not what your manlyness can do anyway, it's what you can do with your fingers that makes the difference.

I guess if one has to compensate.......

 

[Jeremy]

I'm stuck on a little project I have been working on for ten years -- making and controlling Deuterium. If I can unlock this puzzle there will never again be energy problems.

Why can't I stabilize it with any organic alkalizing agent?

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Wrong.

Actually, the mix was matter with antimatter, controlled through the dilithium matrix. Guess what was used as the matter? Deuterium! Know how they made it? Collecting free hydrogen molecules out of space through the Bussard collectors, and processing them into Deuterium in the warp nacelles, then storing it in the "Deuterium Tanks." Deuterium was also the main fuel for the impulse engines.

But, that's all science fiction. My question was not.

Fellow trekky nerd.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

The late Gene Rodenberry says that if you mix it in the right amount with antimatter with dilithium crystals you can create a power source great enough to power a static warp bubble.

Wrong.

Actually, the mix was matter with antimatter, controlled through the dilithium matrix. Guess what was used as the matter? Deuterium! Know how they made it? Collecting free hydrogen molecules out of space through the Bussard collectors, and processing them into Deuterium in the warp nacelles, then storing it in the "Deuterium Tanks." Deuterium was also the main fuel for the impulse engines.

But, that's all science fiction. My question was not.

Fellow trekky nerd.

I stumped BBD already, might as well just lock his thread!

 

[Big Black Dog]

Dear Dog:

One of the few places where I am still able to enjoy anything resembling honest discourse in the modern age has a terrible problem. This is a large dark canine that is constantly deficating and yapping when people are trying to have a discussion. the owner of the beast refuses to do anything. Should I poison or shoot the wretched hound?

Sincerely,
Anonymous

Never, ever shoot or poison your neighbor's dog. He will hate you forever. I will relate a story to you that might help solve your problem if you follow my lead...

Years ago I lived beside a person who had the worst dog in the world. It would come over and shit on my front porch, turn over the trash cans, chew up my newspaper, and piss on the tires of my car. Nothing seemed to help. The neighbor who owned the dog had no interest in controlling his doggie. So, one evening when we had roast beef for supper, I took a thin slice and laid it out on the table and got a bar of soap from the bathroom. I took my pocket knife out and scraped soap shavings onto the slice of roast beef and then rolled it up and tied it neatly with a piece of sewing thread. True to form, the bad dog came around about 7:00 pm that night and was pooping on my porch. I tossed him the roast beef loaded up with the soap shavings and he gobbled it right down. Then he drank some water out of a puddle in the driveway. I sat on my front steps later that evening and was smoking a marlboro when I heard a shotgun blast. I ran around to the back of my neighbor's house where the shot had came from and there he stood with a 12 gauge and a dead dog. I asked him what was going on? He said his dog had come down with the hydrophobie and he had to shoot it to keep it from spreading throughout the neighborhood. I told him he did the honorable thing and asked if he would be getting another dog. He said most likely not...

My point is this, if I had of shot that dog myself, or did anything to harm his dog he would have hated me forever. This way, I am certain the dog arrived in doggie heaven with a full stomach.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Damn BBD. I see the nutcases are on the line first! Go figure......

The truly needy are always the first in line.

 

[Ringel05]

Damn BBD. I see the nutcases are on the line first! Go figure......

The truly needy are always the first in line.

Needy. Is that what they're calling it these days.........