Satire from The Borowitz ReportTrump Replaces Mary Trump with Kayleigh McEnany as NieceA friend told me about a day out with his grandson. This is what he said:
Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!”
Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why -- I never!”
Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears & asked me, "Did I do it
wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?"
After I assured him that he had done a terrific job & that God was
certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my grandson & said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grandson asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul”
Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal.
My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then he did
something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, "Here ma'am,
this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. You must be a Democrat. Shove
it up your ass and cool off!”
Kinda brings a tear to your eyes, doesn't it?
With only three and a half months to go until the election, replacing family members could be seen as a sign of desperation, political insiders said.
By Andy Borowitz
July 18, 2020