- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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This is a Marvel Comics inspired ode to NYC and a general democratic treatise on etiquette and insurance following the morale-devastating day of 9/11.
It was also inspired by Herman Melville's "The Lightning-rod Man."
Signing off,
====
"Jessica Drew was tired of watching cruel and arrogant men in NYC treat women (waitresses, girlfriends, policewomen, nurses, lawyers, etc., etc.) poorly. Jessica began watching men escorting women to restaurants to see how many of these fellows actually had the courtesy of opening the door for their female friends/dates/companions! Jessica realized there were simply too many men who blithely refused to open/hold the door for women. She snapped; she decided to become a costumed vigilante named Spider-Woman (fashioning a spider-like outfit and mask fitted with ultra-strong homemade nylon 'shooters' on her palms and using them to wrap up ghouls/thugs or climb up trees and buildings with great ease).
Spider-Woman was the ultimate gender-crusader in NYC now, and she thought she was on top of the world, having dealt handedly with various criminal men and cruel men and ghouls in the city nights and becoming a real heroine. However, Spider-Woman (Jessica) would now have to deal with a brand new menace, a real 'super-villain' named Hobgoblin. Hobgoblin was actually NYC fashion-designer Roderick Kingsley, a corrupt socialite and fashionista who wanted to use his connections to NYC's upper-echelon to stage elaborate pranks and burglaries without being caught. Roderick fashioned an orange-costume (Halloween-themed!) and built a nifty engine-equipped mini-jet-glider and carried homemade pumpkin-bombs as terrorism-tools. Hobgoblin ransacked and destroyed the apartments of quite a few of NYC's socialites and aristocrats and threw pumpkin-bombs at Central Park.
When Spider-Woman (Jessica) read about the criminal activities of Hobgoblin (Roderick) in the New York Post, she knew her crusade for human goodness had just begun. Hobgoblin fit the profile of the sort of cruel man that motivated Jessica to become a vigilante in the first place! Spider-Woman began doing detective-work to see who would have a grudge against NYC's various socialites and aristocrats. She decided to snoop around the fashion design companies to see if there were any recent disgruntled laid-off employees but came up dry (though she did find a clue about a deranged employee at a NYC Gap branch who 'swore' to become an urban menace when he was fired, even promising to wear a 'night-crawling' villain-costume; however, Spider-Woman decided to put this odd case on hold for now). Then, Spider-Woman discovered that the successes of fashion designer Roderick Kingsley was generating all kinds of society buzz/chatter.
'I wonder if all this Roderick hoopla is generating the sort of anti-socialite sentiment ingrained into the Hobgoblin!' Jessica/Spider-Woman said to herself.
It dawned on Spider-Woman that Roderick himself might be the villain in question (the Hobgoblin!), since he could ideally use the cover/veil of his social spotlight/successes to become a 'super-villain' no one could (or would!) easily trace or pursue. Spider-Woman wondered why Hobgoblin wanted to threaten NYC's upper-echelon even though he was a member himself, and she concluded that Roderick/Hobgoblin was simply yet another NYC 'cruel-man' who wanted to torture others to exercise his muscles and indulge in pride and mischievous rage. Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) concluded that Hobgoblin (Roderick Kingsley) was the ultimate modern urban psycho. Finally, Spider-Woman nabbed Hobgoblin in Central Park one late Saturday night and hauled him off to prison where she requested to interview him personally (the cops gave her permission!).
SPIDER-WOMAN: So, what's your grudge against New York's aristocracy?
HOBGOBLIN: I'm fed up with wealth-based complacency!
SPIDER-WOMAN: So you decided to destroy luxury-apartments and bomb Central Park.
HOBGOBLIN: Correct; I consider myself a prophet...
SPIDER-WOMAN: You're a fashion designer who became a true psycho, Mr. Kingsley!
HOBGOBLIN: Perhaps my 'methods' are unusual to you, but we both like costumes, eh?
SPIDER-WOMAN: I'm a defender, and you're a fear-monger...
HOBGOBLIN: Um, perhaps that's true, but sometimes fear is like psychiatry.
SPIDER-WOMAN: You're not licensed to 'treat' people with anarchy.
HOBGOBLIN: I'm not going to answer to a vigilante-woman without my lawyer present.
SPIDER-WOMAN: Are you one of those New York men who refuse to open doors for women?
HOBGOBLIN: Oh, do you hate such men, Spider-Woman? I admit, they're rather annoying!
SPIDER-WOMAN: They surely are, Roderick; New York needs grace, not terrorism.
HOBGOBLIN: What they need is more jolts from the likes of Nightcrawler.
SPIDER-WOMAN: Who the hell is Nightcrawler?
HOBGOBLIN: Oh, you don't know! He's a disgruntled Gap employee whom I've 'trained.'
SPIDER-WOMAN: That was my next case; I will chase him next.
HOBGOBLIN: When I bust out of prison, I'll track Nightcrawler...
SPIDER-WOMAN: ...and recruit an 'army of men' who refuse to open doors for women!
HOBGOBLIN: I think you're the ideal female 'city-insurance' salesperson.
SPIDER-WOMAN: God bless New York!"
====
It was also inspired by Herman Melville's "The Lightning-rod Man."
Signing off,
====
"Jessica Drew was tired of watching cruel and arrogant men in NYC treat women (waitresses, girlfriends, policewomen, nurses, lawyers, etc., etc.) poorly. Jessica began watching men escorting women to restaurants to see how many of these fellows actually had the courtesy of opening the door for their female friends/dates/companions! Jessica realized there were simply too many men who blithely refused to open/hold the door for women. She snapped; she decided to become a costumed vigilante named Spider-Woman (fashioning a spider-like outfit and mask fitted with ultra-strong homemade nylon 'shooters' on her palms and using them to wrap up ghouls/thugs or climb up trees and buildings with great ease).
Spider-Woman was the ultimate gender-crusader in NYC now, and she thought she was on top of the world, having dealt handedly with various criminal men and cruel men and ghouls in the city nights and becoming a real heroine. However, Spider-Woman (Jessica) would now have to deal with a brand new menace, a real 'super-villain' named Hobgoblin. Hobgoblin was actually NYC fashion-designer Roderick Kingsley, a corrupt socialite and fashionista who wanted to use his connections to NYC's upper-echelon to stage elaborate pranks and burglaries without being caught. Roderick fashioned an orange-costume (Halloween-themed!) and built a nifty engine-equipped mini-jet-glider and carried homemade pumpkin-bombs as terrorism-tools. Hobgoblin ransacked and destroyed the apartments of quite a few of NYC's socialites and aristocrats and threw pumpkin-bombs at Central Park.
When Spider-Woman (Jessica) read about the criminal activities of Hobgoblin (Roderick) in the New York Post, she knew her crusade for human goodness had just begun. Hobgoblin fit the profile of the sort of cruel man that motivated Jessica to become a vigilante in the first place! Spider-Woman began doing detective-work to see who would have a grudge against NYC's various socialites and aristocrats. She decided to snoop around the fashion design companies to see if there were any recent disgruntled laid-off employees but came up dry (though she did find a clue about a deranged employee at a NYC Gap branch who 'swore' to become an urban menace when he was fired, even promising to wear a 'night-crawling' villain-costume; however, Spider-Woman decided to put this odd case on hold for now). Then, Spider-Woman discovered that the successes of fashion designer Roderick Kingsley was generating all kinds of society buzz/chatter.
'I wonder if all this Roderick hoopla is generating the sort of anti-socialite sentiment ingrained into the Hobgoblin!' Jessica/Spider-Woman said to herself.
It dawned on Spider-Woman that Roderick himself might be the villain in question (the Hobgoblin!), since he could ideally use the cover/veil of his social spotlight/successes to become a 'super-villain' no one could (or would!) easily trace or pursue. Spider-Woman wondered why Hobgoblin wanted to threaten NYC's upper-echelon even though he was a member himself, and she concluded that Roderick/Hobgoblin was simply yet another NYC 'cruel-man' who wanted to torture others to exercise his muscles and indulge in pride and mischievous rage. Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) concluded that Hobgoblin (Roderick Kingsley) was the ultimate modern urban psycho. Finally, Spider-Woman nabbed Hobgoblin in Central Park one late Saturday night and hauled him off to prison where she requested to interview him personally (the cops gave her permission!).
SPIDER-WOMAN: So, what's your grudge against New York's aristocracy?
HOBGOBLIN: I'm fed up with wealth-based complacency!
SPIDER-WOMAN: So you decided to destroy luxury-apartments and bomb Central Park.
HOBGOBLIN: Correct; I consider myself a prophet...
SPIDER-WOMAN: You're a fashion designer who became a true psycho, Mr. Kingsley!
HOBGOBLIN: Perhaps my 'methods' are unusual to you, but we both like costumes, eh?
SPIDER-WOMAN: I'm a defender, and you're a fear-monger...
HOBGOBLIN: Um, perhaps that's true, but sometimes fear is like psychiatry.
SPIDER-WOMAN: You're not licensed to 'treat' people with anarchy.
HOBGOBLIN: I'm not going to answer to a vigilante-woman without my lawyer present.
SPIDER-WOMAN: Are you one of those New York men who refuse to open doors for women?
HOBGOBLIN: Oh, do you hate such men, Spider-Woman? I admit, they're rather annoying!
SPIDER-WOMAN: They surely are, Roderick; New York needs grace, not terrorism.
HOBGOBLIN: What they need is more jolts from the likes of Nightcrawler.
SPIDER-WOMAN: Who the hell is Nightcrawler?
HOBGOBLIN: Oh, you don't know! He's a disgruntled Gap employee whom I've 'trained.'
SPIDER-WOMAN: That was my next case; I will chase him next.
HOBGOBLIN: When I bust out of prison, I'll track Nightcrawler...
SPIDER-WOMAN: ...and recruit an 'army of men' who refuse to open doors for women!
HOBGOBLIN: I think you're the ideal female 'city-insurance' salesperson.
SPIDER-WOMAN: God bless New York!"
====
