Seems ESPN and the media want to automatically say that Junior Seau killed himself because he was suffering from numerous concussions.
Could be.
Let me offer a little insight into this.
Imagine that you've spent your life since you were a kid wanting to play a sport. You were good at it. So good that everyone wanted you on their team. For most of your life people treated you differently because you were bigger, stronger, faster, and just plain better than everyone around you.
Junior Seau was an amazing athlete. He could literally take over a game. He was in on every play. He was so tough that you didn't know when he was hurt. He refused to admit it. He never went to the training table before and after games to get treatment. He might hire a doctor on the side, but he never allowed anyone on the team to see him suffering or complaining.
This is the Junior everyone on the Chargers knew. He was the guy that grabbed Ryan Leaf and pulled him away after he exploded on a journalist who upset him after a terrible game in Kansas City, where he fumbled the ball several times in a torrential downpour and lost. He was the peacemaker on the team. They guy everyone looked up to.
Now imagine the day that he was told he wasn't wanted on any team because he was too old. 41 years old is really old for a Quarterback, much less a linebacker. Junior still played into his 40s. A time when most of us literally hit a wall and discover we're not vibrant anymore. He still felt he could play. He could play through the aches and pains. Well, most teams want someone who could run sideline to sideline and Junior could only do it in spurts. He could still make a great play but for the money he was getting???? No way. Taking a pay-cut was an insult for a guy that made the Pro-bowl numerous times, and a shoe-in as a Hall of Famer on the first ballot.
Junior Seau retired for the second time in 2010. His career was over. To some, that means life is over. He was getting a divorce, he drove his car off the road. Things had changed seemingly overnight. This is the reality that hits anyone who excelled for as long as Junior did. Depression sets in. The damage he suffered from 20 years of playing a violent sport had caught up with him and the years seemed to weight him down. He was 43, just about the age most men hit that wall because their hormones start to change. Some start to lose hair, others get a gut. It's harder to get up the energy to make yourself get going in the morning. Coffee is the only spark that gets you going. Men hit their peak when they're 17. Women much later. But the Testosterone level tanks once you hit 40.
This is part of what hit Junior. Not only was everyone treating him like an old man but he was starting to feel like one.
The trick to this is to level with yourself and face up to the truth. It takes years for your body to adapt to new Testosterone levels. You can keep them up as long as you exercise regularly. What if it hurts too much to get out of bed? Heck, just walking around is a pain in the ass for some football players. Some bashed into each other so many times that they were like boxers. Unable to focus or remember things.
I can't say exactly why Junior killed himself, but I understand exactly why, and he had to get through it somehow. Problem was, Junior was in the habit of never telling anyone when he was in pain, so his own toughness and his failure to deal with it was just as much at fault for what he eventually did as anything.
I haven't seen him play since the day the Patriots took their unbeaten season into the Super Bowl against the New York Giants and lost. I don't like the Patriots, but I was pulling for Junior. I would have been happy if he had finally won that gold diamond incrusted ring.
Junior was one of my favorite Chargers.
I'll miss him. So will a lot of San Diego.
