A Day in the Life of a Republican

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Madeline, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. Madeline
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    Madeline BANNED

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    A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REPUBLICAN
    By John Gray

    Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot
    full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for
    minimum water quality standards.

    He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His
    medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure
    their safety and work as advertised.

    All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers
    medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their
    employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares
    his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to
    eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
    industry.

    Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is
    properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents
    because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting
    on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and
    takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-
    hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
    air.

    He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to
    work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
    fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public
    transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
    contributor.

    Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay,
    medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some
    liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
    Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
    want his employees to call the union.

    If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker
    compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think
    he should loose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

    It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some
    bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
    liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who
    ruined the banking system before the depression.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below
    market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
    Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
    earned more money over his lifetime.

    Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at
    his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to
    dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal
    fought for car safety standards.

    He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live
    in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
    didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until
    some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
    demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still
    be sitting in the dark)

    He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social
    Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could
    take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad
    he gets back in his car for the ride home.

    He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals
    are bad and conservatives are good (He doesn't tell Joe that his
    beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit
    Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big
    government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I'm a self-made man
    who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I
    have.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  2. CrusaderFrank
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    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

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    Liberals: Because people are too stupid to figure things out on their own.

    The US was founded by evil slave owners who insured rights for themselves and set up a government to protect their stuff! Evil! Capitalist pigs! It is well known that the life span of the Founding Fathers was no more than 16 years. Without Liberal programs, they ate dirt and drank rats and all died horrible deaths.

    Greece? Rome? The Incas? Fictions all of them! They never existed because there were no Liberals back then!

    Poor Joe, he lives in the Liberal Mecca of California, home of cheap Liberal lettuce thanks to undocumented Mexicans-Almost American Laborers. Thanks to Liberal giveaways to unions and government employees, the State has a deficit that only Warren Buffet could fill.

    Thanks to regulations that cover light bulbs, smoking, car emissions and any other conceivable human activity, no business would now willing open in California. If you are alive, you are probably violating some Liberal California statute.

    But that's not all! Liberal programs are now pulling down the entire USA! That's right! You heard right!

    All those free goodies aren't free!

    Liberal Social programs have deficits bigger than the GDP of almost every nation on the planet!

    When Social Security goes bust, softly at first, then badly, thank a Liberal!

    When you're denied medical care because you've lived enough government approved "life years" be sure to thank a Liberal!
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  3. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Another perfect example of the sort of nanny state government that some of you people so hate?

    Thou shall NOT shit in the public water supply.

    Small wonder some of you hate this sort of outrageous limitation on your freedom.

    Now is the above law a LIBERAL law, a CONSERVATIVE law or merely a law that makes good sense regardless of your political bent?
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  4. skookerasbil
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    skookerasbil Gold Member

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    Person who wrote that Republican tale specializes in folklore. Because lets face it........the Republican earns everything he gets and thats what drives the lefty k00ks fcukking nuts. They are miserable because they have made disasterous personal decisions for themselves and now are looking for a scapegoat......somebody to blame for their miserable ass lot in life. Its always the same...........

    Track the life of a Republican and you will almost invariably find something not present in the life of a liberal: hard working role models who live a modest lifestyle. For the lib, their role model were elitist asshole parents who lived high on the hog/self centered and now the kids are miserable and jealous because they blame the parents for feeling forgotten..........OR..........the other lib who wants their lives litterred with government handouts. Its either one or the other if we want to be a intellectually honest here s0ns. Sure there are the wealthy but such a small % in terms of GOP support.


    Funny irony with that story above..........the whole idea of these lucrative pension plans is fast coming to an end. The public at large is fast becomming sick and tired of paying mega sums for all these asshole public assistance employees posh lifestyles after retirement. Many of the elitist liberal k00ks on this board are unaffected by it because they dont own their own residence ( or much else for that matter) so they dont know dick about it...........but I watch my local taxes go up and up and up every year because of this sh!t.

    Only the hopelessly duped of the world buy that story above:eusa_whistle:
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  5. daveman
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    daveman Diamond Member

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    And thanks to liberals, unicorns roam the meadows and everyone in the world is loving and peaceful and no bad things ever happen anywhere.

    The end.


    What a lovely fairy tale!
     
  6. midcan5
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    midcan5 liberal / progressive

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    Rand's mother receives excellent care during her pregnancy
    rand is born in a public education university hospital
    he is well cared for in corporate day care
    his parents have health insurance through work
    he lives in a neighborhood in which the tax code provides good schools
    he attends public school and his parents can afford tutors if needed
    his grandparents provide funds for college
    he attends a state college and graduates with a business degree
    in college he joins a libertarian group
    a friend of his father recommends him to a colleague for a job interview
    he lands a job
    he marries a woman of similar background
    they have two children
    he repeats much of the life of his parents but enters politics
    he runs as a republican libertarian
    his campaign stresses libertarian principles of freedom
    hard work and the free market are the forces that matter
    the election is close
    rand wins
    he enters during a time of excessive budget deficits
    an enormous budget package includes reduced taxes and a reduction in entitlements
    rand true to his libertarian creed votes yes
    his is the deciding vote
    protesters hold signs of disagreement in the streets
    breakfast and lunch services are stopped for many needy children
    loans are limited for education funds
    early child care is reduced
    health care also receives a large cutback
    rand has been true to his libertarian creed
    after all he made it on his own didn't he?
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  7. Soggy in NOLA
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    Soggy in NOLA Platinum Member

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    What idiot needs to be told to not "shit" in the public water supply? Oh... a liberal. You guys are fffuuuuuunnnnnny.
     
  8. Soggy in NOLA
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    Soggy in NOLA Platinum Member

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    BAM!!!!! Beautiful... thanks!
     
  9. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    L-i-b-e-r-a-l

    Lazy
    incompetent
    bastards
    enjoying
    rebublicans'
    allocated
    loot
     
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    Last edited: Jul 26, 2010
  10. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    Go Armour-all the tires on your house, murkin.
     

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