Mad Scientist
Feels Good!
- Sep 15, 2008
- 24,196
- 5,431
- 270
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his morning coffee. Joe can afford the coffee because corporate loving rich Republicans exported our jobs overseas with NAFTA and CAFTA.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications work because money-grubbing Republicans refuse to place price controls on drugs, thereby allowing pharmaceutical companies to earn enough money to pay for the extensive R&D and take the risks necessary to create miracle drugs. But the drugs still cost too much because government mandated health insurance has artificially increased the demand for medications with no one to police the prices, but that’s OK since Joe’s Bush-supporting bossman pays all but $10 of Joe's medications.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient, none of which are damaging to his skin because some animal-hating sadistic corporations paid some scientists to swab the shampoo in some poor rabbit’s eyes. Just for kicks.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some dollar-worshiping conservative developers built some nice houses with pretty yards 15 miles from the industrial sector of the city, and Joe drives his comfortable and affordable “Japanese” car made in Georgia without the inflated cost of union labor, and Joe can stop on his way home to pick up a package of reasonably priced T-shirts at the evil Wal-Mart, instead of having to park his car and take a filthy subway to pay twice as much downtown.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because his parents instilled in him the value of hard work so he studied when he was in school and learned that he could get by just fine without relying on the government. Joe's employer pays these benefits because Joe's employer doesn't Joe’s a valuable employee and Joe’s employer doesn’t want him to go work for his competitor. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get another job pretty quick because he’s a self-starting go getter who has a lot of friends at church and from college that he can call to find more work.
It's noontime and Joe would need to make a bank deposit but doesn’t need to go to a bank because evil monopolist Bill Gates helped make computers usable to the general public and he can automatically pay bills thanks to the economies of scale of Bank of America or Wachovia installing the expensive equipment to allow Joe this convenience.
Joe can afford a nicer home, not only just because of the low mortgage rates, but also because he gets to keep more of his hard earned money because Republican Presidents in the 1980s and in 2001 cut his taxes.
After work this evening, Joe plans to visit his father at his farm home in the country that Joe’s dad still owns because his landed-gentry Republican County Commissioners have refused to steal his land in the name of a higher tax base.
Joe gets in his car for the drive because the government added additional lanes to the local highways that people actually use instead of throwing money away on a regional rail system that studies project people would little use. Joe gets to his house in record time because death-loving Republicans allow you to go 65 and 70 mph, and you can because pollution loving Republicans don’t make you plug your car in overnight so you can drive for 2 hours at a maximum speed of 20 mph.
Joe arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house, but he doesn’t because when his grandparents moved to the United States they learned to speak English and didn’t spend their time complaining about how the government wasn’t doing enough for them.
The house didn't have electricity until some military-industrial power company plopped a big ol’ nuclear power plant over by the river.
Joe is happy to see his father, so they go to the local bar and enjoy a beer and a cigar, where Joe’s dad tells him that if the estate tax is repealed, Joe can keep the farm in the family for a fourth generation and won’t have to sell it to pay the taxes.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on NPR. The reporters keep telling stories about how bad corporations only care about profit and that higher taxes will allow the government to “invest” in our future. They don’t mention that the beloved Democrats have vilified the very people who have provided us jobs, good and services from their small businesses and big companies.
Joe agrees: "Those evil corporations don’t care about the little guy, all they want is to pay their executives huge salaries and steal oil from the middle east. Why can’t we be like Europe where we can work 30 hour weeks and get a month vacation? Bastard rich people only care about themselves."
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications work because money-grubbing Republicans refuse to place price controls on drugs, thereby allowing pharmaceutical companies to earn enough money to pay for the extensive R&D and take the risks necessary to create miracle drugs. But the drugs still cost too much because government mandated health insurance has artificially increased the demand for medications with no one to police the prices, but that’s OK since Joe’s Bush-supporting bossman pays all but $10 of Joe's medications.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient, none of which are damaging to his skin because some animal-hating sadistic corporations paid some scientists to swab the shampoo in some poor rabbit’s eyes. Just for kicks.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some dollar-worshiping conservative developers built some nice houses with pretty yards 15 miles from the industrial sector of the city, and Joe drives his comfortable and affordable “Japanese” car made in Georgia without the inflated cost of union labor, and Joe can stop on his way home to pick up a package of reasonably priced T-shirts at the evil Wal-Mart, instead of having to park his car and take a filthy subway to pay twice as much downtown.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because his parents instilled in him the value of hard work so he studied when he was in school and learned that he could get by just fine without relying on the government. Joe's employer pays these benefits because Joe's employer doesn't Joe’s a valuable employee and Joe’s employer doesn’t want him to go work for his competitor. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get another job pretty quick because he’s a self-starting go getter who has a lot of friends at church and from college that he can call to find more work.
It's noontime and Joe would need to make a bank deposit but doesn’t need to go to a bank because evil monopolist Bill Gates helped make computers usable to the general public and he can automatically pay bills thanks to the economies of scale of Bank of America or Wachovia installing the expensive equipment to allow Joe this convenience.
Joe can afford a nicer home, not only just because of the low mortgage rates, but also because he gets to keep more of his hard earned money because Republican Presidents in the 1980s and in 2001 cut his taxes.
After work this evening, Joe plans to visit his father at his farm home in the country that Joe’s dad still owns because his landed-gentry Republican County Commissioners have refused to steal his land in the name of a higher tax base.
Joe gets in his car for the drive because the government added additional lanes to the local highways that people actually use instead of throwing money away on a regional rail system that studies project people would little use. Joe gets to his house in record time because death-loving Republicans allow you to go 65 and 70 mph, and you can because pollution loving Republicans don’t make you plug your car in overnight so you can drive for 2 hours at a maximum speed of 20 mph.
Joe arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house, but he doesn’t because when his grandparents moved to the United States they learned to speak English and didn’t spend their time complaining about how the government wasn’t doing enough for them.
The house didn't have electricity until some military-industrial power company plopped a big ol’ nuclear power plant over by the river.
Joe is happy to see his father, so they go to the local bar and enjoy a beer and a cigar, where Joe’s dad tells him that if the estate tax is repealed, Joe can keep the farm in the family for a fourth generation and won’t have to sell it to pay the taxes.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on NPR. The reporters keep telling stories about how bad corporations only care about profit and that higher taxes will allow the government to “invest” in our future. They don’t mention that the beloved Democrats have vilified the very people who have provided us jobs, good and services from their small businesses and big companies.
Joe agrees: "Those evil corporations don’t care about the little guy, all they want is to pay their executives huge salaries and steal oil from the middle east. Why can’t we be like Europe where we can work 30 hour weeks and get a month vacation? Bastard rich people only care about themselves."
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