A Cleveland Daiquiri

Abishai100

VIP Member
Sep 22, 2013
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After watching the 2017 NFL Draft, I wanted to write something to make myself feel more cheerful about consumerism, professional sports, and modern 'ethics woes.'

Sometimes, all you need is a good 'patriotic limerick.'

Maybe I should write one about TrumpUSA...



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As Bernie Kosar sat staring at the cameras and reporters at his retirement interview, he thought about his gritty NFL career and wondered what the future held for his beloved Cleveland Browns team. Kosar had brought the Browns out of darkness and helped them win multiple division championships, and now he wanted to retire happily and reflect fondly on his career and celebrity. His kids purchased the NFL Nintendo video-game Tecmo Super Bowl and loved playing with the Browns so they could use their dad as QB. Kosar felt content in many ways.

Ten years later, Kosar was comfortable in retirement but started reading more and more scandalous news stories about various NFL players involved in terrible steroids controversies while the era of free-agency was really exploding. Kosar wondered how the 'old guard' QBs of NFL's storied past (e.g., Johnny Unitas, Terry Bradshaw, Fan Tarkenton, etc.) would be remembered in contour to the 'new breed' of NFL QBs (e.g., Drew Bledsoe, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, Tom Brady, etc.). Kosar was troubled by the cultural problems created by free agency.

Kosar went to Church one Sunday and began praying for his beloved Browns, asking God to help them on their way. Suddenly, he had a vision of a bizarre alien invasion of Earth which would result in the complete change of Washington, D.C. Kosar did not believe the vision completely, however, he was inspired to think about the value of sports in America within the context of ethics-related scandals/controversies and how such 'troubles' would scar the pedestrian psyche! Kosar decided to send an op-ed to the Washington Post titled, "Why the Celebrity Era could Scar America's Libertarian Soul." It would win him the Nobel Prize.

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