911 Calls

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Jun 7, 2004.

  1. Sandy73

    Sandy73 Guest

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one.
    >Caller: Sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    >Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    >Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
    > ***************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?
    >Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and
    >cheese sandwich.
    >Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    >Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table
    >and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken bite out of it
    >Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    >Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of
    > ****************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one.
    >Caller: Hi, is this the police?
    >Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
    >Caller: I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey?
    >I've never cooked one before.
    > ***************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency?
    >Caller: Fire, I guess.
    >Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
    >Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their
    >Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
    >Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my
    >tires and....well....
    >do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
    >Dispatcher: Help you what?
    >Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
    > **************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
    >Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
    >eleven on it.
    >Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    >Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    >Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    >Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
    > ******************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
    >Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
    >Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    >Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband
    > **************
    >Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
    > Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. I
    >think I'm going to pass out.
    > Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    > Caller: I'm at a pay phone at North and Foster.
    > Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    > Caller: No
    > Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
    > Caller: Running from the police
  2. KLSuddeth

    KLSuddeth Guest

    thats freaking hysterical!:clap1:
  3. Annie

    Annie Diamond Member

    Nov 22, 2003
    Thanks Received:
    Trophy Points:
    :clap: :clap:

    Thank you police and fire departments. Ready to respond to actual emergencies and ahem, the above.

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