Actually, I was 20 minutes away from the WTC when it happened and I know people who died there. Yet, that fact does not turn me into a bloodthirsty hawk. I agree with you-- sadly, many issues cannot be resolved diplomatically and call for war. It's ignorant to say that war is never the answer. But it is not ALWAYS the answer. The problem with this "war on terror" is that we are fighting against a concept, not a solid, cohesive enemy. Why did we fail in Vietnam? How did we achieve independence from the superior British army? These outcomes are, in part, due to guerrilla warfare. You can never truly win if you can't find the enemy.
But let's look at this realistically. Our security is not threatened in the Middle East. Nor is it threatened here (in the US) in a militaristic sense. No Islamic nation can invade and conquer America. It's just not possible. So the biggest threat to our security is (like Israel) the suicide bomber. And sadly, it only takes a few of them to kill thousands of Americans. Can we possibly, with the use of military combat in the Middle East, eliminate this threat? Can we kill every single person who will martyr himself? Again, we can weaken, but we'll never destroy.
We must act out of sincerity; we must show them that while we disagree with their lifestyle, our ultimate goal is to achieve peace. The problem is that we haven't tried it. Everything Bush says is a threat and a condemnation. His ethnocentric vision has pushed these people further and further away. So I'll ask, what's more important: justifying the deaths of 3000 people or creating peace for millions?