When is it ok to be judgmental?

[Ravi]

I'm surprised that nobody has brought up the fact that laws, and their enforcement, is precisely how society passes judgment upon the individual. And while we may disagree on specific laws, by and large I think most would agree that this is an example of when it's ok.

Thank you, Professor Mani!

 

[manifold]

When it becomes a matter of personal security.

What about when a woman chooses to abort her pregnancy?

Clearly not a matter of personal security, but is it still ok to judge?

sure judge away. However poking your nose into someone elses business is a good way to get it punched.

Passing judgment doesn't necessarily require poking one's nose in another's business.

How naive of you to suggest it does.

 

[uscitizen]

What about when a woman chooses to abort her pregnancy?

Clearly not a matter of personal security, but is it still ok to judge?

sure judge away. However poking your nose into someone elses business is a good way to get it punched.

Passing judgment doesn't necessarily require poking one's nose in another's business.

How naive of you to suggest it does.

It does seem to for many right wingers.

Gay Marriage?
unmarried sex?
No sunday booze sales/open bars in many places

 

[manifold]

sure judge away. However poking your nose into someone elses business is a good way to get it punched.

Passing judgment doesn't necessarily require poking one's nose in another's business.

How naive of you to suggest it does.

It does seem to for many right wingers.

Gay Marriage?
unmarried sex?
No sunday booze sales/open bars in many places

As it does for many left wingers.

universal healtcare
hiring practices of private business
smoking bans in bars & restaurants

 

[uscitizen]

Ahh the smoking thing enjoys widespread support from the right. At least it does in the KY legislature.

 

[Paulie]

When is it ok to judge others based on their words and deeds?

I do it. You do it. Everyone does it.

Yet sometimes we'll tell others they're wrong for being judgmental (ironically judging them in doing so).

So when is it ok to be judgmental, and when is it not ok?

When it becomes a matter of personal security.

What about when a woman chooses to abort her pregnancy?

Clearly not a matter of personal security, but is it still ok to judge?

I would probably judge a woman more for having multiple children she can't afford to raise, while living off the popular teat.

And that's probably not "ok".

Mostly, I try not to be bothered with the personal decisions of others whenever possible. Sometimes you just can't help yourself, though.

 

[Christopher]

When is it ok to judge others based on their words and deeds?

I do it. You do it. Everyone does it.

Yet sometimes we'll tell others they're wrong for being judgmental (ironically judging them in doing so).

So when is it ok to be judgmental, and when is it not ok?

Great question. In my mind I try to think to what degree I am being judgmental of the person because I want them to look bad and make me look better or am I sincerely trying to help them. If the intent is to help the person, then I think that is when it is OK. Mostly I am thinking about close friends and relatives though.

 

[boedicca]

Judging is not the same as condemning. Given that we all have value systems, we make judgments every day. We wouldn't be able to survive otherwise.

Fair point.

So when is it ok to condemn?

Let's make two distinctions:

For individuals, we all have the right to shun (i.e., not associate with) people we find appalling. This is a method an individual may employee to "condemn" another. It doesn't harm that other person in a way that infringes their liberty. It is a purely personal act.

For a Civilized society, condemnation must be within the law. If the person is judged to have violated law, the lawful penalties should be applied.

 

[uscitizen]

Then lets not forget there is judging which we should do all the time.
And then there are actions we take based on those judgements. That is where it gets trickier.

Like seeing a 300 lb lady in stretch pants and a tube top. I judge her to look shocking, but I do not say that to her or anyone else.

 

[George Costanza]

I agree with those who say that we are all judgmental. That is simply human nature. Having said that, however, it does not follow that we should always ACT on our judgments.

If you see someone doing something that has no effect on you whatsoever, it is not always a good idea to be judgmental about it. Why should you? Live and let live. On the other hand, if you belong to a group and someone in the group is constantly acting like a jerk and disrupting things, then some judgmental action is probably indicated - because what they are doing hurts you, either directly or indirectly.

Wasting time being judgmental about things that do not affect you, only diminishes yourself as a human. Being judgmental implies negative feelings. Who needs negative feelings? Smell the flowers. Save your judgments for those who really deserve them.

 

[Care4all]

discern right from wrong, stick to your own convictions, and as said, live and let live, or live and let die.

 

[George Costanza]

Judging is not the same as condemning. Given that we all have value systems, we make judgments every day. We wouldn't be able to survive otherwise.

Fair point.

So when is it ok to condemn?

For individuals, we all have the right to shun (i.e., not associate with) people we find appalling. This is a method an individual may employee to "condemn" another. It doesn't harm that other person in a way that infringes their liberty. It is a purely personal act.

Not sure I agree with that one - at least not totally. Yes, we all have the right (I would prefer "ability") to shun others. And, if we do shun someone else, I suppose it does not infringe on their liberty in the literal sense. However, it certainly affects how they feel about themselves.

I don't think you can classify shunning as a "purely personal act" if, by that, you mean personal to the person doing the shunning only. Being shunned is a horrible thing, and can affect a person in extremely negative ways. People have committed suicide because they were shunned.

How much better to be a gracious person - to be tolerant of the faults and shortcomings of others and give them the common courtesy of recognition as a fellow human being. I know that sounds pretty soppish - but it's true. You don't have to invite an idiot over to your house or even befriend someone who is obviously lacking in basic human skills. But you also don't have to shun them.

I'm not implying that YOU do any of these things or are even advocating them. Your post here just put me in mind of some of these considerations.

 

[boedicca]

How much better to be a gracious person - to be tolerant of the faults and shortcomings of others and give them the common courtesy of recognition as a fellow human being. I know that sounds pretty soppish - but it's true. You don't have to invite an idiot over to your house or even befriend someone who is obviously lacking in basic human skills. But you also don't have to shun them.

I'm not implying that YOU do any of these things or are even advocating them. Your post here just put me in mind of some of these considerations.

I'm mentioned shunning in response to the question "when is okay to condemn". It's not something that should be used casually or for minor annoyances.

There are some people, however, who deserve such treatment. I have no interest in allowing people who I know to be dishonest into my "space" - if they have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, I'm not going to make the mistake of trusting them. Likewise, associating with pedophiles, rapists etc. hold no appeal.