Welcome to Progressive Theatre

[Laslow]

Today we start with Chad. After shaving his legs and using hairspray.

"Yeah, I'll go hit it in the front hole, and then take it to the clinic for some healthcare. F jesus."

This has been Chad.

 

[Laslow]

And now, for your pleasure, we have Karen. She just pressed one for English to order a pizza.

"I hate those people who think people should take care of themselves. They are a threat to democracy and should be rounded up. How dare they move to other states instead of paying my bills. They need to be punished."

 

[Moonglow]

Congratulations on your self-indulgent pap test.

 

[Laslow]

Congratulations on your self-indulgent pap test.

You win lady. I'm sure you have a better beard than I do.

 

[Moonglow]

You win lady. I'm sure you have a better beard than I do.

Depends on which beard you are referring to.