Trump Unveils New Eternal Mortgage

[Votto]

Trump Unveils New Eternal Mortgage​

U.S.·Nov 10, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bid to bring down housing costs for struggling Americans trying to afford to purchase a home, President Donald Trump unveiled a plan that would normalize the utilization of eternal mortgages.

While 30-year mortgages had been the industry standard for generations, climbing prices and economic challenges have made it difficult for hardworking Americans to become homeowners. Trump was confident that the new eternal mortgage would solve the problem.

"Just be in debt forever, that'll make it easy," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. "This way, you'll never have to stress about trying to get out of debt, because your mortgage just lasts forever. It's a beautiful thing. That's a long, long mortgage, folks. I know a thing or two about real estate, and being given eternity to pay off a loan is really something. We should do that with the national debt. Though I guess we already do that, really. It's a heck of a strategy, believe me."

Administration officials were reportedly still in negotiations with representatives from both Heaven and Hell to finalize terms about whether or not the eternal mortgage payments would extend into the afterlife. "We're close to a deal on that," one insider said. "The U.S. government has longstanding connections with entities from the hereafter, so we at least have some prior relationship where we can start negotiations. We're confident that we can come to a deal that will allow debtors to keep having to make mortgage payments for all eternity, long after they leave this world."

At publishing time, sources confirmed that interest rates for eternal mortgages would instantly triple if loanholders went to Hell.

 

[Mack The Finger]

When we bpought our house I told Tool of Satan (Miss EX) we should get a 15 year mort. For about $150 more...the house paid off by now. She insisted we get a 30 yr jawn.

It didn't make sence because we both were older and we could have afforded it.

She is gone but the $50,000 I owe the bank is still here.

 

[1srelluc]

Chin up, get into a home at 21 and you will only be 71 when you pay it off. Hey, I hear 71 is the new 91.

 

[DennisPTate]

Chin up, get into a home at 21 and you will only be 71 when you pay it off. Hey, I hear 71 is the new 91.

Is it just my imagination or could it be that President Trump may have gotten this idea from Moses?

[Leviticus 25] :
“And you shall count seven weeks[<a href="Bible Gateway passage: Leviticus 25 - New International Version" title="See footnote a">a</a>] of years, seven times seven years, so that the time of the seven weeks of years shall be to you forty-nine years. 9&nbsp;Then you shall send abroad the loud trumpet on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the day of atonement you shall send abroad the trumpet throughout all your land. 10&nbsp;And you shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants; it shall be a jubilee for you, when each of you shall return to his property and each of you shall return to his family. 11&nbsp;A jubilee shall that fiftieth year be to you; in it you shall neither sow, nor reap what grows of itself, nor gather the grapes from the undressed vines. 12&nbsp;For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you; you shall eat what it yields out of the field.

13&nbsp;“In this year of jubilee each of you shall return to his property. 14&nbsp;And if you sell to your neighbor or buy from your neighbor, you shall not wrong one another.

 

[Mack The Finger]

They have 100 year mortgages in Japan.

Instead of borrowing $$$ from the bank you buy it from the homeowner.

It is a investment of sorts.