To Bend an Ear

[Unkotare]

I always make myself available to stay after school to help any students (in my classes or not) who need help with homework or projects in any subject (except math!). I'm glad to do so. But it turns out that 9 times out of 10 students who stop by my classroom after school just want someone to chat with; someone to listen to them. I'm especially glad to be an ear for students who often don't have one outside of school. I have a few students from the Dominican, Guatemala, Mexico, and Bangladesh who very often stop by and just talk. Sometimes I'll just be there without saying a word for 20 minutes or more. These students just want to get their worries, frustrations, and hopes out into the ether. You can see the relief on their faces just to say the words and be heard. The problem is this can keep me after school for an hour and a half or more, which means I get crushed in traffic getting home. But I find it hard to cut off any of the kids who are venting. I consider this as important as teaching them grammar or essay writing, etc. They are really good kids, and it pains me to think of them moving about the world with all this locked down inside. A lot of these kids exist in dangerous, insecure, uncertain conditions. But they have hopes and dreams and goals the same as kids in the wealthy suburbs.

See? Now I'm venting.

 

[Thunk]

1. Could you use a free hour during the day instead of after the school day is over? Or perhaps before the school day starts?

2. When you get crushed in traffic...is there any way to make your commute time more productive? (maybe listen to tomorrow lesson in the car rather than reading it)? Or perhaps talk N type anything you'll hand out & print it off when you get home?

 

[Unkotare]

1. Could you use a free hour during the day instead of after the school day is over? Or perhaps before the school day starts?

2. When you get crushed in traffic...is there any way to make your commute time more productive? (maybe listen to tomorrow lesson in the car rather than reading it)? Or perhaps talk N type anything you'll hand out & print it off when you get home?

I don't have a free hour during the day. We are supposed to have an hour of lesson prep during the day, but one of our teachers has been out on maternity leave for the year. I cover her classes during what would be my prep time. Fortunately, I mostly teach the advanced classes so they do a lot of independent work once I've taught them the principles and processes.

The commute is sports talk radio time. It's a sort of meditation in itself.

At home I do my lesson prep until 11:00-12:00 at night. Somewhere in there eat dinner and have some whiskey, read to my little guy, teach some wrestling techniques to my older boy, and spend time with the wife.

And so it goes.

 

[Thunk]

Welp, all I can suggest is don't forget about yourself and your family!

I can see you love these students & want to do all you can for them...but listening can take it's toll on you.

It's not fair to let the students run your battery down & then always count on family to recharge your battery.

My mom did that to me & I finally had to explain to her...You let others talk and wear you down...and then you call me for a recharge...which I am happy to do...but now you've worn me down & it needs to stop.

She didn't understand right then but I stood firm for weeks until she wore down to a frazzle & she finally saw she had to stop listening to other peoples problems.

 

[Unkotare]

Welp, all I can suggest is don't forget about yourself and your family!

I can see you love these students & want to do all you can for them...but listening can take it's toll on you.

It's not fair to let the students run your battery down & then always count on family to recharge your battery.

My mom did that to me & I finally had to explain to her...You let others talk and wear you down...and then you call me for a recharge...which I am happy to do...but now you've worn me down & it needs to stop.

She didn't understand right then but I stood firm for weeks until she wore down to a frazzle & she finally saw she had to stop listening to other peoples problems.

It's a man's job to have the juice to do what needs to be done. I'm not laying concrete after all.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

It's a man's job to have the juice to do what needs to be done. I'm not laying concrete after all.

Just out of curiosity, what are you going to do for a job when all of your students get deported? Serious question. You probably don't have that many legal immigrants up there.

Great topic BTW!

 

[Moonglow]

I always make myself available to stay after school to help any students (in my classes or not) who need help with homework or projects in any subject (except math!). I'm glad to do so. But it turns out that 9 times out of 10 students who stop by my classroom after school just want someone to chat with; someone to listen to them. I'm especially glad to be an ear for students who often don't have one outside of school. I have a few students from the Dominican, Guatemala, Mexico, and Bangladesh who very often stop by and just talk. Sometimes I'll just be there without saying a word for 20 minutes or more. These students just want to get their worries, frustrations, and hopes out into the ether. You can see the relief on their faces just to say the words and be heard. The problem is this can keep me after school for an hour and a half or more, which means I get crushed in traffic getting home. But I find it hard to cut off any of the kids who are venting. I consider this as important as teaching them grammar or essay writing, etc. They are really good kids, and it pains me to think of them moving about the world with all this locked down inside. A lot of these kids exist in dangerous, insecure, uncertain conditions. But they have hopes and dreams and goals the same as kids in the wealthy suburbs.

See? Now I'm venting.

When in the history of mankind have children stayed after school to chat with a teacher?

 

[Moonglow]

It's a man's job to have the juice to do what needs to be done. I'm not laying concrete after all.

you'd be makin' more money if you did finish concrete.

 

[Unkotare]

Just out of curiosity, what are you going to do for a job when all of your students get deported? Serious question. You probably don't have that many legal immigrants up there.

Great topic BTW!

Like all ESL students in the country, the majority of my students were born in the US.

 

[Unkotare]

When in the history of mankind have children stayed after school to chat with a teacher?

Pretty much every day.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Like all ESL students in the country, the majority of my students were born in the US.

At my middle school all-boys classes, I would bet 90% were illegals that did not speak the language as none were born here. About a third of my class were citizens.

 

[Seymour Flops]

I always make myself available to stay after school to help any students (in my classes or not) who need help with homework or projects in any subject (except math!). I'm glad to do so. But it turns out that 9 times out of 10 students who stop by my classroom after school just want someone to chat with; someone to listen to them. I'm especially glad to be an ear for students who often don't have one outside of school. I have a few students from the Dominican, Guatemala, Mexico, and Bangladesh who very often stop by and just talk. Sometimes I'll just be there without saying a word for 20 minutes or more. These students just want to get their worries, frustrations, and hopes out into the ether. You can see the relief on their faces just to say the words and be heard. The problem is this can keep me after school for an hour and a half or more, which means I get crushed in traffic getting home. But I find it hard to cut off any of the kids who are venting. I consider this as important as teaching them grammar or essay writing, etc. They are really good kids, and it pains me to think of them moving about the world with all this locked down inside. A lot of these kids exist in dangerous, insecure, uncertain conditions. But they have hopes and dreams and goals the same as kids in the wealthy suburbs.

See? Now I'm venting.

I recommend you be careful spending time alone with students discussing personal issues.

Very careful.

 

[BlackSand]

I always make myself available to stay after school to help any students (in my classes or not) who need help with homework or projects in any subject (except math!). I'm glad to do so. But it turns out that 9 times out of 10 students who stop by my classroom after school just want someone to chat with; someone to listen to them. I'm especially glad to be an ear for students who often don't have one outside of school. I have a few students from the Dominican, Guatemala, Mexico, and Bangladesh who very often stop by and just talk. Sometimes I'll just be there without saying a word for 20 minutes or more. These students just want to get their worries, frustrations, and hopes out into the ether. You can see the relief on their faces just to say the words and be heard. The problem is this can keep me after school for an hour and a half or more, which means I get crushed in traffic getting home. But I find it hard to cut off any of the kids who are venting. I consider this as important as teaching them grammar or essay writing, etc. They are really good kids, and it pains me to think of them moving about the world with all this locked down inside. A lot of these kids exist in dangerous, insecure, uncertain conditions. But they have hopes and dreams and goals the same as kids in the wealthy suburbs.

See? Now I'm venting.

.

I don't know if it would help ... But just an idea.

What if you were to take some of these kids and focus on the idea of them keeping a journal.
I don't know what their writing skills would be like ... But in any case, practice wouldn't hurt.

They could bring their journals with them ... You could still let them talk ...
But they may be more focused and will have thought about things longer.
That may allow them to express their ideas better and more quickly ... Not really sure though.

It's easy for anyone ... Including your students to talk and vent ...
It takes an investment to write things down.

Perhaps it wouldn't solve much of your dilemma ... But their effort might make your effort and time more rewarding.
Let them write down their hopes, dreams and goals ... Let those things become more solid in their presence ... A list even.
Establish the idea that thinking something is different than doing something ... And they can start with themselves.

.​

 

[lg325]

My 7th grade math teacher took the time after school to get me caught up with the other kids so I could pass. Having her take the time to explain and teach me made a big difference in my life as a 12 year old knowing there are good people out there.

 

[Unkotare]

At my middle school all-boys classes, I would bet 90% were illegals that did not speak the language as none were born here. About a third of my class were citizens.

Level of English proficiency is not an indicator of citizenship. You would think it is, but it's not. Especially for younger students.

 

[Unkotare]

I recommend you be careful spending time alone with students discussing personal issues.

Very careful.

I never mention my personal issues. I just listen.

 

[Unkotare]

.

I don't know if it would help ... But just an idea.

What if you were to take some of these kids and focus on the idea of them keeping a journal.
I don't know what their writing skills would be like ... But in any case, practice wouldn't hurt.

They could bring their journals with them ... You could still let them talk ...
But they may be more focused and will have thought about things longer.
That may allow them to express their ideas better and more quickly ... Not really sure though.

It's easy for anyone ... Including your students to talk and vent ...
It takes an investment to write things down.

Perhaps it wouldn't solve much of your dilemma ... But their effort might make your effort and time more rewarding.
Let them write down their hopes, dreams and goals ... Let those things become more solid in their presence ... A list even.
Establish the idea that thinking something is different than doing something ... And they can start with themselves.

.​

There’s no dilemma, just someone to listen to them. Writing it down would feel like homework and they wouldn’t do it.

 

[BlackSand]

There’s no dilemma, just someone to listen to them. Writing it down would feel like homework and they wouldn’t do it.

.

Sometime progress towards a goal or one's dreams and ambitions, takes an investment in effort ...
But I can certainly understand your reasoning ... Thanks for the input ...

.​

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Level of English proficiency is not an indicator of citizenship. You would think it is, but it's not. Especially for younger students.

As I told you before, I knew which of my kids were illegals. It is in their student records.

 

[Unkotare]

As I told you before, I knew which of my kids were illegals. It is in their student records.

Not in my school. Not even legal to ask in my state.