Think Women Can't Do The Job? Here Are 12 Benefits Of Lady Secret Service Agents

[Votto]

Think Women Can't Do The Job? Here Are 12 Benefits Of Lady Secret Service Agents
THE BABYLON BEE·Jul 16, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people even seem to think having Lady Secret Service agents might not be the best idea in every situation. That's absolute hogwash!

We at the Babylon Bee understand the critical role female agents play in the Secret Service, so we've put together this listicle to help underline all of the special talents these ladies bring to the table:

1. They can hold up their little makeup mirror thingies to reflect the sun into the eyes of an assassin and blind him: He'll never see it coming.
2. They have no qualms about recklessly running over curbs or pedestrians while driving the getaway car: They'll do this during normal motorcades too, though, so it's a bit of a double-edged sword.
3. They have experience changing diapers: (Biden security detail only)
4. They'll always make sure that everyone is safe and that no one gets hurt by standing on a slightly inclined roof: Safety comes first!
5. They can do that cool move where the boy Secret Service agents lift them above their heads like cheerleaders to provide even more shielding to the president: Rah! Rah! Rah!
6. Their high heels double as sharp stabby weapons: We've seen this in the movies.
7. It's very easy for the President to reach over their short bodies to shake hands with the crowd: So convenient!
8. They are extremely ferocious and deadly at about the same time each month: You'll be well protected, as long as you remain on their good side.
9. You only need to pay them 78% of what a male Secret Service agent makes: Who says the government doesn't care about saving money?
10. Their hair ties can double as a tourniquet in an emergency: As long as you can convince them to mess up their ponytails.
11. They're great at kissing boo-boos: Nothing helps a bullet wound like a nice kiss to make it all better.
12. They are every bit as strong and capable as men: Netflix films have proven this once and for all
13. Well, there you have it — maybe now you'll think twice before criticizing the idea of female Secret Service agents. Do better, bigot!

 

[1srelluc]

But can they serve-up sandwiches and beer?

 

[Harry Dresden]

Think Women Can't Do The Job? Here Are 12 Benefits Of Lady Secret Service Agents
THE BABYLON BEE·Jul 16, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 978542

Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people even seem to think having Lady Secret Service agents might not be the best idea in every situation. That's absolute hogwash!

We at the Babylon Bee understand the critical role female agents play in the Secret Service, so we've put together this listicle to help underline all of the special talents these ladies bring to the table:

1. They can hold up their little makeup mirror thingies to reflect the sun into the eyes of an assassin and blind him: He'll never see it coming.
2. They have no qualms about recklessly running over curbs or pedestrians while driving the getaway car: They'll do this during normal motorcades too, though, so it's a bit of a double-edged sword.
3. They have experience changing diapers: (Biden security detail only)
4. They'll always make sure that everyone is safe and that no one gets hurt by standing on a slightly inclined roof: Safety comes first!
5. They can do that cool move where the boy Secret Service agents lift them above their heads like cheerleaders to provide even more shielding to the president: Rah! Rah! Rah!
6. Their high heels double as sharp stabby weapons: We've seen this in the movies.
7. It's very easy for the President to reach over their short bodies to shake hands with the crowd: So convenient!
8. They are extremely ferocious and deadly at about the same time each month: You'll be well protected, as long as you remain on their good side.
9. You only need to pay them 78% of what a male Secret Service agent makes: Who says the government doesn't care about saving money?
10. Their hair ties can double as a tourniquet in an emergency: As long as you can convince them to mess up their ponytails.
11. They're great at kissing boo-boos: Nothing helps a bullet wound like a nice kiss to make it all better.
12. They are every bit as strong and capable as men: Netflix films have proven this once and for all.
13. Well, there you have it — maybe now you'll think twice before criticizing the idea of female Secret Service agents. Do better, bigot!

i bet everyone of them can probably kick your ass too votto.....lol...

 

[Votto]

i bet everyone of them can probably kick your ass too votto.....lol...

Or get my head shot off

Very talented those women.

 

[surada]

Or get my head shot off

Very talented those women.

1971. Laurie Anderson, Sue Baker, Kathryn Clark, Holly Hufschmidt and Phyllis Shantz were sworn in as the first five female Special Agents.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

i bet everyone of them can probably kick your ass too votto.....lol...

Except for the tiny one that screamed and hid. It's a shame that real female secret service agents aren't like they are on tv where they really do kick ass. Well, not really but you get the idea.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Except for the tiny one that screamed and hid. It's a shame that real female secret service agents aren't like they are on tv where they really do kick ass. Well, not really but you get the idea.

you dont have to be big to take down a big man...

 

[EvilCat Breath]

you dont have to be big to take down a big man...

Perhaps but in this case the 5ft tall lady screamed and hid. She popped up when the big guys provided some cover.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Perhaps but in this case the 5ft tall lady screamed and hid. She popped up when the big guys provided some cover.

so she represents every woman?.....

 

[EvilCat Breath]

so she represents every woman?.....

No just women who have absolutely no business in being secret service agents. Or even police officers. We are so used to seeing women on television or in the movies taking down 300 pound hulks, picking them up and throwing them into a wall that we start to believe that this is the norm. It's not. Women panic like the agent did when a bullet went past her head.

 

[Resnic]

Watching that girl trying to holster her gun into the badge on her hip instead of the holster with her fupa sticking out made me think I was watching a clip from a comedy movie where Melissa McCarthy is a secret service agent.