They're called POLLs, Jackass!

[Dan]

Not Q&A things!!!!

1. What is your favorite television show?

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)?

3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library?

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of?

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why?

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)?

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory?

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen?

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?)

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be?

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one.

Um, this seems like a good place to stop, so I'll do just that.

 

[Dan]

Here you go...

1. What is your favorite television show?

Six Feet Under

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)?

Um, I watch a lot of cooking shows, and I also watch The Learning Channel a lot (Trading Spaces is cool, and I really dig watching the surgery stuff).

Also, I masturbate 13 times a day.

Just kidding. I've gotten it down to seven or eight times a day.

3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library?

A fart in church is funnier than anything.

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of?

Clowns seriously scare me. And the sound of a vaccuum makes me uncomfortable, but not really scared, per se.

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why?

Hmmm. Maybe Janeen, because I'm sure at that point a little silence would be nice. Tuth be told, I'm probably the slowest of the bunch, so I'd probably be the first sacrifice. But, if anyone says me, I'll hate them forever and the next time they go to sleep, I'll sever and eat one of their limbs, just to teach them to F with me!!!

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)?

Over the summer, we made PJ, which is basically a ton of fruit, fruit juice, and an insane amount of liquor. A week later, a lot of it was still left over. I assumed that the fruit would still be good, since it's been in alcohol, and alcohol kills germs. Yeah, I was wrong. Note to everyone: gray strawberries are rotten strawberries, and if they've been soaking in alcohol for a week, all that means is that it's going to taste even worse.

I also ate a dog turd once.

What?

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory?

When I was four or five, my brother John had all these pictures of rock stars all over his wall and I saw Alice Cooper in one, then had a nightmare that he was chasing me down the road with a steamroller.

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen?

Wet Hot American Summer
Run, Ronnie Run!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Ghostbusters

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?)

Exorcist
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my currently untitled script (yeah, I know, I'm conceited, but hey, it gave me and is still giving me many nightmares).

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be?

Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Simpson, and Fred Durst.

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one.

What's the only thing better than winning the gold at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

 

[janeeng]

1. What is your favorite television show?
The Soprano's - that's if they ever bring it back

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)?
I crack up at farts!

3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library?
Church - Have witnessed both, and nothing more than an old man at time to kneeling and farting, echo's in the church, and you try not to laugh, but do!

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of?
Midgets - quite scared of them

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why?
Geez, that's bizarre, but maybe Jim, then I could take him out of his msyery!hahahahaha

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)?
grasshopper, a dare! and quite gross!

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory?
Watching "don't be afraid of the dark" and then thinking every midget was going to pull me into a furnace.

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen?
hmmm! that's tough, I like a lot! but maybe me myself and Irene - basically all Jim carrey movies

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?)
Don't be afraid of the dark

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be?
Kathie Lee - phony bitch!

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one.

Look in the mirror! hahahahahahahaha

 

[jimnyc]

1. What is your favorite television show? Law and Order

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)? I'm a nice guy

3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library? Church

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of? Spiders

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why? Jackass, more meat

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)? Sushi with that wasabi crap

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory? All of 'em

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen? Roots

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?) Ring

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be? Tim Robbins

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one.
Why can't a woman put on her mascara with her mouth shut?

 

[Jackass]

1. What is your favorite television show? I would have to say Survivor.

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)? I actually like a Julio Iglesias song. I think it the one with Anna Kornicovia in it.

3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library? Fart in church.

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of? Moths (not that I am afraid of them..just find them revolting)

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why? Janeen. Not too fat and not to skinny. A little marbling of the meat to make it tender!! LOL

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)? One time..when I was about 15 or 16, I had to get up and go to work around 5:30 am. Well I wasrunning late and I poured myself a bowl of cereal, poured the milk over it and jumped in the car with my aunt. (I used to work with her). Well as I was eating it..I thought it had a peculiar taste..and I wrote it off to just having brushed my teeth. About halfway through the bowl, I felt a little soft thing on my tongue. Wondering what it was, I looked down to my cereal to notice all of the curds of sour milk sitting on top of my cornflakes.!

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory? My uncles convincing me to jump off the roof with cardboard taped to my hands and feet and telling me I would fly.

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen? Something About Mary

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?) Trilogy of Horror or Burnt Offerings

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be? Marilyn Manson or Eminem

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one. Wish I could..I suck at Jokes. Wait...
Whats the difference between a preist and a zit??
Wait
Wait
Wait
Zits dont come on your face till your 14!! LOL

 

[jimnyc]

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory? My uncles convincing me to jump off the roof with cardboard taped to my hands and feet and telling me I would fly.

These the same uncles that told you that you could freeze your goldfish overnight and he'd thaw out and be fine the next day? You were a gullible little bastard!

 

[Jackass]

Same ones..and you can!!

 

[janeeng]

Damn, seems i am the dead one here! not fair, there are others to choose from! hehe!!!

 

[5stringJeff]

1. What is your favorite television show?
Monday Night Football... especially when the Raiders actually SHOW UP TO PLAY!!! AARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

2. What is the dorkiest thing about you (the thing that you don't like other people knowing about you)?


3. Which is funnier: a fart in church or a fart in a library?
Library... because you know people at your church, but the library is full of strangers.

4. What is one silly thing that you're scared of?
Roller coasters.

5. If all the regulars of this board (meaning those of us who carried over from the XP Tweaks board) were trapped in the woods and you were forced to kill and eat one, who would it be and why?
I don't know all you regulars yet, but it would probably be the most liberal one. Definitely not the cute one.

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, or tried to eat (keep it clean, kids!)?
Turkey loaf. My wife seems to think it's good. I'm trying to find the fine line between telling her it tastes terrible without insulting her cooking skills.

7. What is your weirdest childhood memory?
Probably when my friend tried to convince me that a bunch of French coasters in his house were signs of evil. Come ot think of it, that might not be so wierd after all...

8. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen?
Oh man... I love Spaceballs, but there's so many of them out there.

9. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? (have I used those two before?)
The Devil's Advocate.

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be?
If you're talking S&M style, Anna Kournikova. If you mean an actual beating, Barbara Streisand.

11. Tell me a joke. A funny one.
A Husky (from U. of Washington) and a Cougar (from Washington State - archrivals) are at a football game, and both have to go to the bathroom. The Husky finishes first, zips up his pants, and starts to walk out of the bathroom. The Cougar tells him, "At WSU, they teach us to wash our hands before we leave the men's room." The Husky replies, "At UW, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

 

[janeeng]

hahaha, hey please jeff, please tell me it's Dan you would eat then and not me!!! Dan is the Lib here! hahhahahaha!!!!!!!! Finally someone other than me! I think a night in the woods with all you whacko's, I would be DEAD!

 

[jimnyc]

10. If you could beat any celebrity within an inch of their life, who would it be?
If you're talking S&M style, Anna Kournikova. If you mean an actual beating, Barbara Streisand.

Mmmmm.... S&M with Anna! I'd dress her in an all leather outfit and then cut out little holes to expose her nipp...

Ooops, daydreaming again!

 

[janeeng]

Sick puppy!

 

[Jackass]

Originally posted by jimnyc
Mmmmm.... S&M with Anna! I'd dress her in an all leather outfit and then cut out little holes to expose her nipp...

Ooops, daydreaming again!

Who WOULDNT?!?!?!?

 

[5stringJeff]

Two words: Saran wrap!

And maybe an invitation to Britney Spears. But that's seven more words.

Originally posted by jimnyc
Mmmmm.... S&M with Anna! I'd dress her in an all leather outfit and then cut out little holes to expose her nipp...

Ooops, daydreaming again!