The Democrat Plantation

[Lord Long Rod]

Now looky here, folks. My name is Cletus T. Bartholomew Lee IV, from the South of the Mason-Dixon Line family of Lees. I run The Democrat Plantation. Now, some of you may think that American bondage of the negro ended with the good old Emancipation Proclamation. Well, good sir, you would be wrong. That damned old yankee constitutional amendment didn’t end it either. Black slaving it still alive and well in this here good old US of A! Yes sir!!



It is a two-way street, really. See, us white Democrat gents help the negros. We get them low-income housing, food stamps, hiring and admission preferences, etc… We have a COMPLETE cradle to grave welfare system for them thar black boys and girls, including employment in the federal gub-mint and the NBA and NFL, fer example! If not for us white Democrats, them thar old negro boys would still be picking cotton!!



So, for all the help we white Democrats have procured for the negro, we kind of feel like we are OWED a little something. Blacks sometimes don’t know it, cuz they is too dumb, but we white Democrats are smart enough to know that without our help, they would be nothing. Each and every darkie in America has benefited tremendously from our help. Therefore, they OWES us their votes!!



Now then, when some old black boy gets hisself educated and uppity, and decides he is a Republican or that he is being played by the DemoKrats, us good white folks in the Democrat Potty takes offense. Just take that old snallygagger, old Uncle Clarence Thomas. That old boy sits on the US Supreme Court right now. If not for us white folks paving the way for him, he would be back in Savannah, GA, right now, selling cut-bait to white folks in fishing yachts headed out to sea. We ALLOWED that thar boy to excel. Then he done turned around and bites the hand that feeds him. How about THAT!!!



When the slaves rebel, then they just got to be put down. It’s a shame really. They would not have to lose a damned thing if they would just play ball like a good boy. See, we gots to enforce our brand guidelines, lest we don’t have a ballgame to play. That would be bad for the negros cuz we couldn’t hep ‘em anymore. So, its for their own good that they help put the Uncle Toms down through ostracization and smear jobs. You gotta play ball or ya gotta get off the field!! Ya knowd what I means?



See, I don’t care how smart you is as a negro. Everything you done got is the result of us white Democrats. EVERYTHING! You remember that, too! You don’t get to benefit from what we dun did fer ya, then turn around and vote Republican, or argue against affirmative action, or have ANY OPINION WHATSOEVER THAT DO NOT STRICTLY COMFORM TO THE PLATFORM OF THE DEMOCRATIC PART!! WE OWN YOU NEGROS!! YOU OWE US, BIG TIME!!!



So, ya see how this here Democrat Plantation works, boys? It ain’t too bad, really. You can think whatever you like. You just can’t say it! That is, you can’t say it if us good old white Democrats don’t pre-approve it. We only gonna do what’s best fer ya anyway. You knowd dat!! You can trust us. After all, who dun up and got ya’ll out of the cotton fields?

 

[rightwinger]

How is helping people that need help a Plantation?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

How is helping people that need help a Plantation?

Hmmm.... I figured it was pretty obvious, especially from the story. I have failed.

 

[rightwinger]

Hmmm.... I figured it was pretty obvious, especially from the story. I have failed.

Residents in Appalachia, Louisiana, Mississippi have been on Welfare for generations

Are they on plantations too?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Residents in Appalachia, Louisiana, Mississippi have been on Welfare for generations

Are they on plantations too?

Not the point. The plantation is that the Dems expect votes from blacks. They expect them to fall in line. It is, in my opinion, analogous to labor unions' arguments that all employees should have union dues because all workers receive the benefit of the union's work. Blacks are supposed to shut up and tow the line. If a black goes elsewhere and expresses views different from the approved Dem dogma then they get smeared by the Dems. Look at Clarence Thomas. Like him or thinks he is a corrupt, he has been the subject of ongoing smear campaigns (not even including Long Dong Silver-great name!- and paid-for trips). I am thinking of several commentators I saw on MSNBC's weeknight talk shows referring to him as "Uncle Clarence" and "traitor" for seemingly abandoning the Dem principles that allegedly led to his success.

 

[rightwinger]

Not the point. The plantation is that the Dems expect votes from blacks. They expect them to fall in line. It is, in my opinion, analogous to labor unions' arguments that all employees should have union dues because all workers receive the benefit of the union's work. Blacks are supposed to shut up and tow the line. If a black goes elsewhere and expresses views different from the approved Dem dogma then they get smeared by the Dems. Look at Clarence Thomas. Like him or thinks he is a corrupt, he has been the subject of ongoing smear campaigns (not even including Long Dong Silver-great name!- and paid-for trips). I am thinking of several commentators I saw on MSNBC's weeknight talk shows referring to him as "Uncle Clarence" and "traitor" for seemingly abandoning the Dem principles that allegedly led to his success.

Why aren’t whites who have been on welfare for generations on a plantation?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Why aren’t whites who have been on welfare for generations on a plantation?

Because they do not catch shit for how they vote.

 

[rightwinger]

Because they do not catch shit for how they vote.

Because they vote Republicans?

Republicans who are on welfare for generations are not on a plantation?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Because they vote Republicans?

Republicans who are on welfare for generations are not on a plantation?

I am not sure. I am going to have to consider that.