- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Here's a romanticized consumerism-tale inspired by the fortune-paranoia film Brewster's Millions, symbolic IMO of the commerce-focused 'values' of TrumpUSA.
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"My name is Lancelot. I was born in Denmark but I travelled to NYC after 9/11 and discovered various changes in global culture coinciding with the explosion of consumerism which began in the era of Reaganomics. I became a mercenary-vigilante, prowling the city streets at night looking for trouble-makers to dissuade and terrorism to thwart. I worked for the CIA, the NSA, the KGB, and even Mossad at one point before I encountered a strange urban war known as the Red Band War.
The Red Band War was being waged between two groups. One was a powerful druglord-led faction simply known as the Devil's Duo (comprised of a mastermind named Joker and his 'girlfriend' Harley Quinn). The other was an entire sea of bandits and rogue soldiers known as Cobra managed by the American movie super-star Tom Cruise who went by the Internet blogging alias Captain Marvel. Marvel controlled legions of loyalists who wanted to subvert the Devil's Duo whose reach had extended all the way to Amsterdam.
The Red Band War concerned the proper use of market-savvy intellectual property designs in this age of consumerism as they related to People Magazine, Facebook, Apple Computers, and of course, British Petroleum. Cobra wanted to use capitalism-techniques to market Planet Hollywood as a vehicle for anti-drug martial law over people's management of fashion and trends. The Devil's Duo wanted to use the drug-traffic operation (micro-managed by Harley Quinn doubling as a stewardess of KLM) to create a public demand for individualism over the mindless Planet Hollywood 'empire' endorsed by Cruise/Marvel.
I befriended the Devil's Duo and started dating Harley Quinn when she was having troubles with Joker who was in the midst of a complicated divorce from Princess Kate Middleton (about to marry Prince William). Harley Quinn helped me get my life together and aided me in developing my urban-warfare techniques so I could coordinate my interests in legalized medical marijuana in California with my knack for urban guerilla tactics relevant to consumerism 'trends' (e.g., the marketing of toy water-guns to American youngsters in the summer season). I learned much about Harley Quinn and how Joker rescued her from a life of doom and from the ruthless clutches of Cobra.
Cruise/Marvel approached me and offered me a great sum of money (since I was known now as an effective and ambitious mercenary) to assassinate Joker, but I respected the druglord for how he rescued Harley Quinn (a real damsel in distress), and since I was friends with First Lady Melania Trump, I hid Harley Quinn in Melania's secret vacation chateau in Switzerland while I helped Joker retaliate against Cobras' terrible plan to assassinate him and create martial law in Washington, D.C. on the shopping-day known as 'Black Friday.' I forced a competitive wedge between Cruise/Marvel and his first knight Storm-Shadow, and the conflict drove Cobra apart and kept Joker safe.
Joker decided to flee to some island and retire but he made me promise him I would protect Harley Quinn, and I kept my promise. Harley and I married and retired to Geneva where we micro-managed a dairy farm and spent winters in the Alps skiing. Harley remarked to me in our old age that we somehow managed to thwart the forces of profiteerism and piracy and divert any disastrous assassination scheme on the Joker who was simply trying to thwart capitalism and consumerism-veiled fascism. While Cruise/Marvel successfully implanted Cobra as the dominant 'diplomacy' force to the emergent Planet Hollywood consumerism culture, Harley and I retired in peace and happiness knowing that shopping-obsession would not make us robots. I was also happy knowing that the Joker was safe and out of harm's way in this great tribulation of the 21st Century which I will always refer to as The Drugstore Calamity."
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"My name is Lancelot. I was born in Denmark but I travelled to NYC after 9/11 and discovered various changes in global culture coinciding with the explosion of consumerism which began in the era of Reaganomics. I became a mercenary-vigilante, prowling the city streets at night looking for trouble-makers to dissuade and terrorism to thwart. I worked for the CIA, the NSA, the KGB, and even Mossad at one point before I encountered a strange urban war known as the Red Band War.
The Red Band War was being waged between two groups. One was a powerful druglord-led faction simply known as the Devil's Duo (comprised of a mastermind named Joker and his 'girlfriend' Harley Quinn). The other was an entire sea of bandits and rogue soldiers known as Cobra managed by the American movie super-star Tom Cruise who went by the Internet blogging alias Captain Marvel. Marvel controlled legions of loyalists who wanted to subvert the Devil's Duo whose reach had extended all the way to Amsterdam.
The Red Band War concerned the proper use of market-savvy intellectual property designs in this age of consumerism as they related to People Magazine, Facebook, Apple Computers, and of course, British Petroleum. Cobra wanted to use capitalism-techniques to market Planet Hollywood as a vehicle for anti-drug martial law over people's management of fashion and trends. The Devil's Duo wanted to use the drug-traffic operation (micro-managed by Harley Quinn doubling as a stewardess of KLM) to create a public demand for individualism over the mindless Planet Hollywood 'empire' endorsed by Cruise/Marvel.
I befriended the Devil's Duo and started dating Harley Quinn when she was having troubles with Joker who was in the midst of a complicated divorce from Princess Kate Middleton (about to marry Prince William). Harley Quinn helped me get my life together and aided me in developing my urban-warfare techniques so I could coordinate my interests in legalized medical marijuana in California with my knack for urban guerilla tactics relevant to consumerism 'trends' (e.g., the marketing of toy water-guns to American youngsters in the summer season). I learned much about Harley Quinn and how Joker rescued her from a life of doom and from the ruthless clutches of Cobra.
Cruise/Marvel approached me and offered me a great sum of money (since I was known now as an effective and ambitious mercenary) to assassinate Joker, but I respected the druglord for how he rescued Harley Quinn (a real damsel in distress), and since I was friends with First Lady Melania Trump, I hid Harley Quinn in Melania's secret vacation chateau in Switzerland while I helped Joker retaliate against Cobras' terrible plan to assassinate him and create martial law in Washington, D.C. on the shopping-day known as 'Black Friday.' I forced a competitive wedge between Cruise/Marvel and his first knight Storm-Shadow, and the conflict drove Cobra apart and kept Joker safe.
Joker decided to flee to some island and retire but he made me promise him I would protect Harley Quinn, and I kept my promise. Harley and I married and retired to Geneva where we micro-managed a dairy farm and spent winters in the Alps skiing. Harley remarked to me in our old age that we somehow managed to thwart the forces of profiteerism and piracy and divert any disastrous assassination scheme on the Joker who was simply trying to thwart capitalism and consumerism-veiled fascism. While Cruise/Marvel successfully implanted Cobra as the dominant 'diplomacy' force to the emergent Planet Hollywood consumerism culture, Harley and I retired in peace and happiness knowing that shopping-obsession would not make us robots. I was also happy knowing that the Joker was safe and out of harm's way in this great tribulation of the 21st Century which I will always refer to as The Drugstore Calamity."
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