Senate Dems brace to vote for a bill they hate — to block Elon Musk

[Votto]

Washington - Democrat leaders say they are poised to vote for the Elon Musk spending bill that they hate. Chuck Schumer explained by saying, "Just to be clear, we hate everything about Elon Musk and Trump and their Hitlerian Nazism. But hey, it's a government spending bill, and as you all know it is the job of the Democrat party to spend as much and as often of the taxpayer money as we can, so we are forced to vote for it. We would like the government to go bankrupt tomorrow, but if we need to achieve that goal in little steps like this spending bill, so be it!"

President Trump, on the other hand, has targeted conservatives within the GOP that plan on voting against the spending bill because it continues massive deficit spending. "“Congressman Thomas Massie, of beautiful Kentucky, is an automatic ‘NO’ vote on just about everything, despite the fact that he has always voted for Continuing Resolutions in the past,” Trump said. “HE SHOULD BE PRIMARIED, and I will lead the charge against him. That is why Chuck Schumer and I have joined forces to week out spending nags like Massie, and trust me, no one hates joining forces with Chuck Schumer, believe me!! In fact, the last time we met was at a barbeque where the bastard fed me a raw burger"

 

[JoeB131]

The Babylon Bee, still not funny.

 

[Votto]

The Babylon Bee, still not funny.

Actually, that was me

This, however, is the Bee who has given us an update on the Massie situation.

Trump Orders Drone Strike On Thomas Massie
Politics·Mar 13, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chaos erupted on Capitol Hill today, as Republican Congressman Thomas Massie was neutralized in an apparent drone strike ordered by President Donald Trump.

Massie was wiped out in a counter-argument operation carried out by U.S. Special Forces in the nation's capital, following an earlier threat by the president that he should be "PRIMARIED," which sources confirmed was top-secret government code for "taken out by a drone."

"Got him!" Trump reportedly exclaimed while watching a live feed of the drone strike. "Drones today — wow! Everything's computer! I bet he wishes he had voted for the spending bill now, believe me."

Pentagon officials said the strike was ordered because of Massie's opposition to a continuing resolution bill designed to fund the government for another six months. He voted against the bill, citing a reluctance to extend current spending levels without cutting the budget. "DOGE just exposed a lot of government waste and we're not cutting any of it," Massie reportedly said in his last public statement. "It makes absolutely no sense."

Though the bill eventually passed without Massie's support and moved on to the Senate, Trump was reportedly so surprised to learn a Republican disagreed with him that he felt backed into a corner, deciding that a drone strike was the only viable path forward.

"Obama showed us how presidents deal with problems," Trump said following the drone strike. "If I just keep droning people, all my problems will go away."

At publishing time, President Trump was reportedly preparing to sign an order to "primary" Senator Rand Paul for opposing the bill in the Senate.

 

[Votto]

Is it just me, or does every time we have bipartisan support for something in Congress, like this spending bill, it just gives me warm fuzzies inside.