Samuels

[Abishai100]

Vigilantism and vigilantism-daydreams seem to be a hallmark of the modern era, perhaps because urbanization/industrialization comes with its own brand of Orwellian claustrophobia and Utopian empiricism, which explains the appeal of new-age vigilante-films such as Darkman, The Avengers, Fight Club, Sin City, and Captain America: The First Avenger.

I'm a big fan of the modern Internet-blogging creative-writing genre of 'fan-fiction' (stories that borrow characters/plots from popular films/books/avatar-bios to spin fan-renditions of 'environment destinies'). So I've generated a 'fan-fic' vigilante character named Samuels, modelled after Darkman, Robin Hood, Dick Tracy, Bartleby, and Batman.


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CHAPTER 1: THE MAFIA MANIPULATOR

Samuels was a self-proclaimed American vigilante and a former agent of the CIA. Samuels was working in Moscow trying to dismantle the nefarious grip the Russian mafia had on the people and the culture. Samuels would wear a pumpkin-mask every Saturday night and walk around with a megaphone pretending to be an ‘apocalypse missionary’ delivering pro-democracy messages regarding the evil of the Russian mafia such as, “Moscow will never rise above the ruins of the Soviet Union if the mafia continues to strangle pedestrian hold on modern street spirit!” Samuels’ messages were neither offensive nor entirely original, so he was brushed aside as an ‘idealist,’ however his outspoken rhetoric nevertheless caught the attention of journalists who began calling him the Mafia Manipulator.

Samuels’ deeds caught the attention of a ruthless Moscow crime syndicate boss named Ivan who realized that the heroic romanticism afforded to the ‘Mafia Manipulator’ could spell trouble for ‘aspiring’ criminals looking to profit from post-USSR Moscow mercantilism/capitalism. Ivan decided to tell his mistress (the diabolical and beautiful Franka) to pretend to be a ‘Christian fan’ of the Mafia Manipulator and use ‘feminine charms’ to undo Samuels’ heart (and mind!). Franka went about her work, trying to use love-games to destroy the pesky Mafia Manipulator. However, American movie-star Tom Cruise also read about the deeds of the Mafia Manipulator and wanted to help him on his crusade! The stage was set for a rather intriguing ‘dystopian game.’

Samuels picked up the Moscow Gazette one Sunday morning and noticed the news-story of Tom Cruise preparing to arrive in Russia to choreograph an impressive Dianetics/Scientology conference in praise of the potential/reach of media in the modern age as it related to post-USSR consumerism. Cruise indicated in an interview that he believed that Russians were frustrated with ‘street-level Pepsi economics’ and wanted more evidence of the media’s involvement in pedestrianism-engaged democracy rhetoric; Cruise also mentioned (and praised) the unusual deeds of the Mafia Manipulator in the interview. Samuels was thrilled he had a new ‘fan’ (a celebrity one!), but currently, he was hypnotized by the beauty of the seductive Franka and her suggestion that she and Samuels marry so they could work on the anti-mafia urban crusade in Moscow as a ‘Bonnie and Clyde.’

Samuels attended Cruise’s Dianetics conference and Franka attended with him. Cruise talked about the Mafia Manipulator at the conference (in which politicians, celebrities, journalists, musicians, business company executives, and reform-minded theologians were invited), and Samuels winked at Franka (since no one but she knew that Samuels was actually the Mafia Manipulator!). Franka regretted tricking Samuels for a brief moment (since she started admiring his sincere passion towards Russian idealism), but she quickly remembered the unswerving command of her beau-boss Ivan. Feeling torn, Franka decided to have a three-way conversation with Samuels and Cruise at the Dianetics conference (a chat about male domination in the media), and what resulted was a change-of-heart regarding gender propaganda in modern urban biases (even Michelle Obama became a ‘player’). It was a ‘fine political cartoon.’

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[Abishai100]

This chapter about odd vanities toward 'consumerism-symbolic items' such as the Indian boti was inspired by the imagination-paranoia film Toys.


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CHAPTER 2: SNOW WHITE & JASON



Samuels decided to retire and move to Romania where he could invest some time studying vampire folklore and perhaps even write some short-stories about Dracula (the 'father of vampires'). Samuels became so obsessed with vampire-lore, that he would dress up as a vampire and stare at himself in front of the mirror to see how his mind was 'enhanced.' This 'mirror-dance' became a 'ritual' for Samuels (who was now 34). Samuels wrote one short-story about a descendent of Dracula trying to promote vampire-lore in Hollywood (USA). As he planned his next short-story, Samuels came upon a deranged story in the Transylvania Gazette about an anti-consumerism and anti-capitalism psychopath named Jason who always wore a hockey mask and prophesied about civilization's unrighteous use of tools and hardware.

Samuels was intrigued by Jason and considered the possibility he'd have to come out of retirement to deal with this new 'menace.' Jason was specifically preaching about three 'items' --- the Indian boti (a blade-and-wood kitchen-floor tool used for cutting mostly meats and vegetables), the American chainsaw (a motorized saw used for deforestation purposes), and the generic thermostat (a temperature-gauge device used for heat-control in modern homes). According to Jason, individuals in the modern era who took the boti, chainsaw, and thermostat for granted were not paying enough respect towards the fact that technology and tool-development required prayer and meditation. Jason talked about Indian women having foot-cutting accidents on the boti while cutting veggies for cooking and conversing idly at the same time with their friends/maids, Tobe Hooper making the American horror-film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and eco-pollution related apathy towards global warming and its ensuing 'vain modern use' of high-tech thermostats.

Samuels read that Jason invaded three homes (one in India, one in America, and one in Romania!) and killed the inhabitants (decapitating them!) who happened own a boti, a chainsaw, and a thermostat! Samuels realized that Jason was a 'rogue-vigilante' and believed he had a valid 'grudge' against consumerism culture in the modern world. Jason apparently always wore a hockey-mask. Samuels looked at himself in the mirror (again) dressed as a vampire and realized retirement would have to be postponed. Samuels started tracking the footsteps of Jason around the world and landed in Sydney (Australia), where Samuels believed Jason was planning a terrorist-bombing of the Opera House. Samuels reasoned that Jason would destroy the Opera House and then claim something like, "Modern human beings are sitting idly listening to opera and watching movies, while industries pollute the Earth!"

Samuels decided to attend one performance at the Opera House dressed as the Phantom of the Opera (believing Jason would show up). Samuels stood up in his audience-booth during intermission and yelled to the crowd, "God bless the singers!" to which the crowd gleefully cheered and applauded. Jason was indeed at the Opera House that night (with the terrorism-scheme Samuels predicted) and noticed Samuels get up and deliver his passionate address (dressed as the Phantom of the Opera). Jason decided to kill Samuels first and then blow up the Opera House. When Jason noticed Samuels get up from his seat to go to the lavatory, Jason followed him in there! There was no one else in the lavatory, and Jason was wearing sunglasses and a head-veil (to cover his face) and carried a concealed silencer-pistol (which he intended to use to shoot Samuels in the right-eye!). Jason found Samuels there and congratulated him on his cheer for the opera before pulling out his pistol.

Samuels turned to Jason and said, "I knew you'd be here tonight with a terrorism-scheme and that you'd follow me into the lavatory since I delivered that opera-cheer to the audience (dressed as the Phantom of the Opera); I realize that you're a nihilist who despises human traffic and drama and all the 'flavor' of modern civilization, which is why you killed those owners of the society-symbolic 'items' (the boti, the chainsaw, and the thermostat); I challenge you Jason to refute my Utopian claim that behind every dark thought regarding the wastefulness of civilization there lies something magical about vivacious reform and idealism!" Jason looked at Samuels in shock, realizing he had met a real 'crusader.' Jason was dismayed at his own barbarous cynicism and shot himself in the head in the lavatory, believing suicide was his best escape from an ingrained mindset of anti-social nihilism. Samuels realized Jason's only path to peace would be suicide, since the killer had lost all sense of faith in civilization.

Samuels turned to look at himself in the mirror in the lavatory as Jason's body lay on the floor bleeding. Samuels looked at himself dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and whispered, "Perhaps I can finally retire!" Just then, Samuels had a strange vision. He thought he was hallucinating but then realized he was seeing the manifested image of the beautiful maiden Snow White in the mirror! Snow White said to Samuels,"I was so moved by your unusual idealism towards defense of consumerism liberties in a modern world otherwise plagued by great and eccentric cynicism/nihilism; Samuels, I know who you are and your interest in retiring in Romania to write vampire-lore short-stories; I'm here to serve as your 'creative muse,' and perhaps (just maybe), you and I might discover a sacred promise in capitalism and find that our 'mirror-universe true love' might conquer the winds of wolves such as the anti-lyrical (now dead!) Jason." Samuels realized he had found paradise.

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