Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title

[Votto]

Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title​

Sports·Jul 2, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

PHILADELPHIA, PA — After years of outrage, a Pennsylvanian Great White shark was stripped this morning of its University of Pennsylvania Women's Swimming titles by school officials.

The University of Pennsylvania administration has apologized for allowing the shark to change in the women's locker room and has vacated all records set by the Great White throughout its career.

"We deeply regret the irreversible harm we have allowed to come to female competitors by allowing the shark to swim on our women's team," the University of Pennsylvania swim coach said in a press release. "We have unretired the shark's racing suit and rescinded the titles unfairly won by the Great White shark, and we promise to make amends as best as we can."

The decision has been loudly protested by shark rights advocates, who maintain that a Great White shark should never be denied the right to compete in the NCAA women's swimming competition.

"This move is an affront to Great Whites everywhere," said one activist. "The University of Pennsylvania should apologize for this travesty and be more welcoming of human-adjacent swimmers on their teams. Justice for Great Whites!"

At publishing time, the University of Pennsylvania had generously offered to pay for the surgeries of several female swimmers whom the Great White had ruthlessly maimed during its time in collegiate swimming.

 

[LuckyDuck01!]

The stupid Great White Shark name for Lia Thomas aside: Here's a couple of indisputable facts:
1. Males have a larger lung capacity than females.
2. Males have more upper muscle strength than women.
Both of those combined mean that any biological male competing in competition against females, will have a significant advantage and the biological females will lose.
The same is true of weightlifting and running. Weightlifting requires serious upper body strength and thus biological women lose to biological males. Having more lung power means better running stamina. Men have the edge over women on running.
Women's sports were created so that biological women could compete fairly against each other. Putting biological males in with them, causes them to lose and continuing to do so would have ended biological women's sports competition.
If some individuals suffering from gender dysphoria want to compete in sports, they can compete against those of the same "biological" sex they were born with or create a separate "transsexual" category among themselves and compete.
They also need to get out of bathrooms created for biological females. The majority of biological females don't want them in there.

 

[Leo123]

That shark ate all the competition.

 

[Votto]

That shark ate all the competition.

Typical male