Post your funniest Sopranos scenes, moments, or lines

[hondo 50]

That show was hilarious. I think Richie was the funniest character.



Richie: You called yesterday to complain? That's our policy, it's written on our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied.

Deli Owner: I complain because you didn't make full pickups on 12, 16, 20th. And then i get charged double for it!

Richie: Right, we had to come out twice.

Deli Owner: You charge me double for pickups you miss?

Richie: My dispatcher asked you if you're not satisfied did you want your garbage back?

Deli Owner: Of course i don't want garbage back.

Richie: Then you're satisfied.
--

 

[hondo 50]

Ralph was such a bastard, but also very funny.

Ralph: Hello? - Mrs. Marianucci Gualtieri? This is detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Police Department.
You have a son, Peter Paul?

Paulie's mother: Oh, my God, what happened?

Ralph: He's alight, but he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park.
l don't know how to put this delicately.
He was sucking a Cub Scout's dick.

Paulie's mother: No, it's a mistake.

Ralph: Ma'am, I wish that was all.
We had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.

Paulie's mother: Oh, my God!

Ralph: A gerbil, ma'am.
The County does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity.
Section 4, paragraph 15.
We'll need an insurance number.

Paulie's mother: I have Blue Cross-Blue Shield.

 

[IM2]

The celebration of a criminal subculture.

 

[American Eagle]

The celebration of a criminal subculture.

Hmmm; not sure I get the humor here.

 

[American Eagle]

Little Carmine's malaprops were always funny. Then at the end, Carmine was--all the sudden--using these big words when sitting with Tony at lunch. Carmine was playing them--and the audience--the entire time.

 

[The Duke]

Ralph was such a bastard, but also very funny.

Ralph: Hello? - Mrs. Marianucci Gualtieri? This is detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Police Department.
You have a son, Peter Paul?

Paulie's mother: Oh, my God, what happened?

Ralph: He's alight, but he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park.
l don't know how to put this delicately.
He was sucking a Cub Scout's dick.

Paulie's mother: No, it's a mistake.

Ralph: Ma'am, I wish that was all.
We had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.

Paulie's mother: Oh, my God!

Ralph: A gerbil, ma'am.
The County does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity.
Section 4, paragraph 15.
We'll need an insurance number.

Paulie's mother: I have Blue Cross-Blue Shield.

He deserved to die. Cretin.

 

[hondo 50]

He deserved to die. Cretin.

Definitely. He killed the stripper and those horses. The funny thing is Ralph was smart enough to collect insurance money from his race horse; however, he was so arrogant about it. He could help but reveal to Tony that he did it.

 

[The Duke]

Definitely. He killed the stripper and those horses. The funny thing is Ralph was smart enough to collect insurance money from his race horse; however, he was so arrogant about it. He could help but reveal to Tony that he did it.

Was it Tony or his sister that killed him?

 

[hondo 50]

Was it Tony or his sister that killed him?

Tony killed Ralph. Janice killed Ritchie.

 

[The Duke]

Just so you know, this is the best thing ever!

Oh wtf?! No! I wanted the afternoon picnic by the river one!
Bobby ain't fuckin' around, boss or not! Grawr!

 

[The Duke]

Tony killed Ralph. Janice killed Ritchie.

It's cuz he killed the innocent horse, brah.
He had to go, just like *****. Different reasons, same results.

 

[hondo 50]

Just so you know, this is the best thing ever!

That was funny how Bobby sort of held back, but still kicked Tony's ass. Bobby sort of had an assist from Carmela.

And then, it bothered Tony so bad that he couldn't stop talking about it.

 

[hondo 50]

It's cuz he killed the innocent horse, brah.

In a way, yes. But remember what Tony said as he was killing Ralph. He said (paraphrase): She was a beautiful innocent creature; what did she ever do to you?
Tony could have been talking about stripper Tracy or the horse. Maybe both. But also, if Ralph does not make the fat comments about Tony--maybe he lives.

 

[The Duke]

In a way, yes. But remember what Tony said as he was killing Ralph. He said (paraphrase): She was a beautiful innocent creature; what did she ever do to you?
Tony could have been talking about stripper Tracy or the horse. Maybe both. But also, if Ralph does not make the fat comments about Tony--maybe he lives.

Ralphie was a goner no matter what.
I'm surprised a flamethrower wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure there was carpet or rug or something, though.

 

[hondo 50]

He had to go, just like *****. Different reasons, same results.

Oh come on. ***** was a rat. Ralph was not a rat.

***** was strictly killed for business. Tony hated to do it and it haunted him.

Ralph did not violate any business practice. Tony killed him simply because he hated Ralph.

 

[hondo 50]

Ralphie was a goner no matter what.
I'm surprised a flamethrower wasn't involved.

Yes, Ralph was eventually going to make someone jealous enough to kill him. His arrogance was his deadly sin.

 

[hondo 50]

Ralph threatens Indians and hits on one. Hilarious scene.

 

[The Duke]

Ralph threatens Indians and hits on one. Hilarious scene.

Tek-9 sound familiar?
Reloaded?

 

[hondo 50]

Tek-9 sound familiar?
Reloaded?

what is that?

 

[hondo 50]

Ralph tells the Custer joke.