Porn Writing 101.

JW Frogen

Gold Member
May 10, 2009
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Have you ever actually listened to what porn 'actors' and 'actresses' are saying?

"Hey sexy momma, did you call a plumber? I brought my biggest pipe."

"Ooooooooooooh. I did call a plumber. I need some plunging."

Is there a Shakespeare of porn out there?

***************************************

"What is this? What is this thy cock doth crave?

The glory and morning beauty, lusty light. Crowing cock upon the dawn.

Thy penis pining for her passionate pussy.

Yet thy lady's squeeze box has not a key. Locked not loose. Playing in pacific prudence.

A pretence? Or profound procrastination?

Peckerish penis peckering not, hungering for horny happiness,.

Secrets still secret. Doth the bearded lady shave?

Hope have, wiley willy, be not silly, oldest friend, thy rod and joystick.

Rise! Rise! Rise earnestly erect with opportunity and occasion when it comes, but with care, cum not before it comes.

Foreplay with caution until the real play begins. Tenacious tongue take thy time, taste the sweetness of the honey pot.

And with hard hope, yet soft clitorial care, thy wang shall wallow in the welcoming of her warm waters.

Let our worlds rain raunchy!

Let us drown in desire, deluged in love juice and joyous jizz!"
 
I reckon Shakespeare would love this thread.

If you have read, or better yet seen, his comedies they are full of profane, even pornographic humor.

This writer was a man who not only read about or witnessed, understood and detailed the great follies of the powerful through out history, but also he was a man who had obviously woke up in a gutter or two after a night out of excessive drink and debauchery.

He was not a literature professor, he was a man of the theater; his job was to get bums in theater seats, or where the real box office of the time was, groundlings in standing in the theater pit.

He was a very lustful, human man, reveling in both high and low, if judged by his writing.

Shakespeare was a man who enjoyed the profane as much as he understood the profound.

He just happened to be a genius at both.
 
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Oh I know that guy!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEmvf_6k0pM]Oh, I know that guy, he's a nihilist - YouTube[/ame]
 

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