Need a Break? Visit Cleveland!

[Madeline]

Okay now I admit it, Cleveland is no beauty spot. We don't claim to be Savannah or Key West, yanno. But we do have the World-Reknown Theater of the Absurd here. I believe we have the Nation's Most Corrupt Local Government. The latest is that our grossly obese county commissioner, Jimmy Dimora, denies denies denies! that that chick in his hotel room during his -- ahem -- "fact finding" trip to Las Vegas was a -- oh the shock! the outrage! why I would never! prostitute. I bet after having to fuck Dimora she re-thought her career choice. $1,000 ain't enough for any chick to be fucking Shamu, yanno? So Dimora is kinda sorta mebbe not lying, he he.

Her $1,000 services were not paid for by a Cleveland-area construction company owner as a bribe to Dimora for illegaly fixing contracts, no no no.

Dimora did not have sexual intercourse with the chick, no no no. She gave him a massage. A massage, yanno? Like one would get at the YMCA? ROFLMAO!

I cannot link to "she just gave me a massage and nobody gave me a refrigerator"; but it's about 7/10th's of the way through the video below. Be patient..it's absolutely priceless stuff he he. I especially liked Dimora's plaintive cry "when does a goodwill gesture become a bribe???!!!"

LMAO!

WKYC.com | Cleveland, OH | Video

O good grief, folks, if you need a laugh today, watch a clip of Cleveland local news. I'm tellin' ya -- Chicago has nuthin' on Cleveland. We put your corrupt pols to shame, wherever you might live -- ours are freaky sexual foodies! LOL.

You just cannot buy tickets to this comedy show anywhere. Visit Cleveland, watch a corruption trial, see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, take in a LeBraun --whoopsie I mean Cavaliers game -- and buy a Cleveland area residence to take home as your souvenier! Where else could you have this much fun? Not NYC, that's for sure. Don't tarry now...Cleveland are hotels are filling up fast! ROFL.

We want you to vacation here in Cleveland so you can go home relaxed, refreshed...and grateful that your local pols are not this fucking corrupt.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZzgAjjuqZM]YouTube - Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt[/ame]

 

[rightwinger]

Cleveland Rocks

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU0JpyH1gC8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU0JpyH1gC8[/ame]

 

[GilbertArizona]

Whenever I get a bit homesick.....
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh0FbVQ22V0]YouTube - Cleveland Ohio Legend, 73 years of business - Garfield 12323[/ame]

 

[Madeline]

I bow to the amazing google-fu you guys have! Where all y'all from?

He he he...t'aint as exciting as Cleveland, I bet.

 

[Conspiracist]

I often wonder how much longer the newscasters can keep up the smiles while talking about how special Cleveland is.

The only things I see that are special are the people being interviewed after an incident on the lower west side or east side. Priceless shit!

 

[Rat in the Hat]

I have to go to Cleveland once or twice a year on business.

I see it as punishment for the sins I commit the rest of the year.

 

[Madeline]

I have to go to Cleveland once or twice a year on business.

I see it as punishment for the sins I commit the rest of the year.

Rat in the Hat, we could save you a seat on the jury if you like...might cheer you up some.

*Winks*

Let the Cleveland USMB Gang know when you are here next time and mebbe we can shoot pool?

 

[Rat in the Hat]

I have to go to Cleveland once or twice a year on business.

I see it as punishment for the sins I commit the rest of the year.

Rat in the Hat, we could save you a seat on the jury if you like...might cheer you up some.

*Winks*

Let the Cleveland USMB Gang know when you are here next time and mebbe we can shoot pool?

Sounds like fun! Maybe you can show me the areas that are better than where I have to go. (east side)

 

[Madeline]

I have to go to Cleveland once or twice a year on business.

I see it as punishment for the sins I commit the rest of the year.

Rat in the Hat, we could save you a seat on the jury if you like...might cheer you up some.

*Winks*

Let the Cleveland USMB Gang know when you are here next time and mebbe we can shoot pool?

Sounds like fun! Maybe you can show me the areas that are better than where I have to go. (east side)

Are you spending your time strolling around East Cleveland, Rat in the Hat? T'aint wise. Come over by me and I'll drag ya to "Two Fat Guys" bar and grille. If ya know where to look, this town can be a hoot...but ya do need a native guide.

Here hunni, I made us Cleveland freaks a Social Group so we can all stay in touch:
http://www.usmessageboard.com/groups/cleveland-mob-and-pimp-support-group-d57-favorite-cleveland-true-crime-story.html

 

[Rat in the Hat]

Rat in the Hat, we could save you a seat on the jury if you like...might cheer you up some.

*Winks*

Let the Cleveland USMB Gang know when you are here next time and mebbe we can shoot pool?

Sounds like fun! Maybe you can show me the areas that are better than where I have to go. (east side)

Are you spending your time strolling around East Cleveland, Rat in the Hat? T'aint wise. Come over by me and I'll drag ya to "Two Fat Guys" bar and grille. If ya know where to look, this town can be a hoot...but ya do need a native guide.

Here hunni, I made us Cleveland freaks a Social Group so we can all stay in touch:
http://www.usmessageboard.com/groups/cleveland-mob-and-pimp-support-group-d57-favorite-cleveland-true-crime-story.html

No strolling in that area for me. It's get in, do business, GET OUT! I stay at a hotel in Lakewood, just to get as far from that crowd as I can.

I see things that scare me. And I grew up on the south side of Chicago.

 

[Conspiracist]

Sounds like fun! Maybe you can show me the areas that are better than where I have to go. (east side)

Are you spending your time strolling around East Cleveland, Rat in the Hat? T'aint wise. Come over by me and I'll drag ya to "Two Fat Guys" bar and grille. If ya know where to look, this town can be a hoot...but ya do need a native guide.

Here hunni, I made us Cleveland freaks a Social Group so we can all stay in touch:
http://www.usmessageboard.com/groups/cleveland-mob-and-pimp-support-group-d57-favorite-cleveland-true-crime-story.html

No strolling in that area for me. It's get in, do business, GET OUT! I stay at a hotel in Lakewood, just to get as far from that crowd as I can.

I see things that scare me. And I grew up on the south side of Chicago.

Lakewood is where I reside now. It's crowded like New York City but still orderly and can be very fun.

 

[Madeline]

Two women were arrested early Saturday morning at a strip club for improper erotic contact with customers, police said.

~~By Plain Dealer staff
May 02, 2010, 5:00AM
NORTH RIDGEVILLE, Ohio

Two strippers accused of having improper contact with customers | cleveland.com

LMAO! This just in -- News Flash...some of our ladies here in Cleveland are on the stroll.

What the hell is it gonna take to persuade you people to vacation in Cleveland? I bet our whores have lower rates than yours do, he he he.



Our pimps are better dressed than yours as well:

 

[Dont Taz Me Bro]

Aren't most people trying to escape Cleveland?

 

[Conspiracist]

Aren't most people trying to escape Cleveland?

 

[Madeline]

^Bump^

I got nothing new, I just ♥ this corruption probe we have going on....O wait, I do! Seems Mayor Jackson ain't no choir boy neither.

 

[uptownlivin90]

I have cousins that are broke as Hell in Cleveland. My family ignores their calls for the most part because they're steadily begging for money...

...so no I probably won't be going to Cleveland anytime soon, that way I'll only have to deal with them once a year at the family reunion in Louisville.

 

[Madeline]

I'm sorry to hear that, uptownlivin. This is one harsh town to be dead broke in. The local food bank will only give any one family three days' worth of food per month...and there are only TWO food banks in the entire town.

I don't think you can (usually) solve anyone else's financial woes with money. Hard as it is for some folks to hear, I think some of our young adults should relocate to areas of the country with stronger economies, or else consider joining the military. Those auto manufacturing and steel manufacturing jobs that once allowed a high school grad to out-earn a doctor are never coming back. And so far, there does not appear to be any plan to attract new business.

 

[Conspiracist]

^Bump^

I got nothing new, I just ♥ this corruption probe we have going on....O wait, I do! Seems Mayor Jackson ain't no choir boy neither.

What's happenin' with Jackson?

 

[Madeline]

^Bump^

I got nothing new, I just ♥ this corruption probe we have going on....O wait, I do! Seems Mayor Jackson ain't no choir boy neither.

What's happenin' with Jackson?

There's a scandal involving fixing bids. He's in it up to his neck, apparently. I am delighted by this, of course. They cannot arrest these guys fast enough to suit me.

Solon company accuses Cleveland mayor's administration of unfair bidding for water-meter contract | cleveland.com

 

[Conspiracist]

^Bump^

I got nothing new, I just ♥ this corruption probe we have going on....O wait, I do! Seems Mayor Jackson ain't no choir boy neither.

What's happenin' with Jackson?

There's a scandal involving fixing bids. He's in it up to his neck, apparently. I am delighted by this, of course. They cannot arrest these guys fast enough to suit me.

Solon company accuses Cleveland mayor's administration of unfair bidding for water-meter contract | cleveland.com

LOL! This is how you know you've seen too much of this crap. While I was reading the article my first reaction was, "eh, that ain't too bad". I shook myself out of it. I can't stand this city.