My wife bought some avocados...

[miketx]

...8 days ago. One will NOT get soft, it's hard as a rock? WTF?

 

[JGalt]

...8 days ago. One will NOT get soft, it's hard as a rock? WTF?

Somewhere way down in Old Mexico, some senorita caught her man screwing around on her. So she dumped his Viagra in an avocado field in a fit of spite.

You most likely got one of those avocados, sir.

 

[miketx]

Somewhere way down in Old Mexico, some senorita caught her man screwing around on her. So she dumped his Viagra in an avocado field in a fit of spite.

You most likely got one of those avocados, sir.

That sounds plausible! But it's been more than 4hours...

 

[night_son]

...8 days ago. One will NOT get soft, it's hard as a rock? WTF?

You all need to get out more . . . just saying. I recommend wolf skin suits, obsidian knives and running around the neighbor's fields under the full moon.

 

[miketx]

You all need to get out more . . . just saying. I recommend wolf skin suits, obsidian knives and running around the neighbor's fields under the full moon.

What about night sticking the colored folks?

 

[JGalt]

That sounds plausable!

Eat the damned thing. Maybe you'll get a woodie that'll last 8 days.

Never heard of a Spanish Fly?

 

[night_son]

What about night sticking the colored folks?

There's colored folks? What colors are they?

 

[Dogmaphobe]

You should all just see what she returns with when Mike sends her out for peppers.

 

[JGalt]

What about night sticking the colored folks?

That went out in the 50's. I'd much rather be giving the hickory shampoo to the hippies, like they did in the 60's.

They're far more deserving.

 

[night_son]

That went out in the 50's. I'd much rather be giving the hickory shampoo to the hippies, like they did in the 60's.

They're far more deserving.

Yeah, had more people popped hippie melons back then our world would be a brighter tomorrow.

 

[JGalt]

Yeah, had more people popped hippie melons back then our world would be a brighter tomorrow.

I heard the Democrats are going to hold their 2024 convention in Chicago, like they did in '68.

What fun.

 

[miketx]

There's colored folks? What colors are they?

Like a rainbow...comes in colors everywhere

 

[miketx]

Eat the damned thing. Maybe you'll get a woodie that'll last 8 days.

Never heard of a Spanish Fly?

It's too hard, imagine tommy trying to eat a concrete dick!

 

[night_son]

Like a rainbow...comes in colors everywhere

Sure do hope they taste like Skittles. I love me some people taste like the rainbow.

 

[JGalt]

It's too hard, imagine tommy trying to eat a concrete dick!

I can imagine Tommy the Tainted eating a concrete dick any day of the week.

It doesn't take much imagination for that.

 

[Oddball]

...8 days ago. One will NOT get soft, it's hard as a rock? WTF?

Set in among some citrus fruits....Though it sounds goofy, it has worked for me.

 

[Hossfly]

That went out in the 50's. I'd much rather be giving the hickory shampoo to the hippies, like they did in the 60's.

They're far more deserving.

In the 50s, trainees from Ft Dix used to go to Philadelphia, drive close to the curb and whip queers with a nylon fishing rod. (I seen 'em do it)

 

[JGalt]

Sure do hope they taste like Skittles. I love me some people taste like the rainbow.

Well that's a hoot. Just the other day I dragged out the old Ouija board and asked little Trayvon Martin how he liked the taste of those Skittles.

He said they taste like crap.

 

[skye]

​

Hope this helps, OP

Here’s how to ripen avocados quickly​

You know that thing about putting underripe fruit in a brown paper bag to make it ripen faster? Well, it actually works: Throw an unripe avocado into a paper bag with a ripe banana, fold down the opening, and leave it at room temperature on your countertop for a day or two to accelerate the avocado ripening process.

Here’s the science: When some fruits ripen, they give off ethylene gas, a plant hormone (which also gives a musty, sweet odor that smells like ripe fruit). This natural gas is a by-product of ripening, but it also speeds up the ripening time for surrounding fruits. By increasing the confined avocado’s exposure to the ethylene gas, it will ripen more quickly. No bananas? An apple works too. And if you don’t have a paper bag, you can invert a heavy bowl over the fruit. Just don’t wrap it up in a plastic bag, which could trap too much moisture and encourage mold.

​

 

[BackAgain]

...8 days ago. One will NOT get soft, it's hard as a rock? WTF?

Somebody hit it up with Viagra. Advise the avocado to see a doctor (for way more than 4 hours).