Wake, I dated an asshole for over 5 years long ago. After that I didn't get involved with anyone for over 2 years. Then I met the man who later became my husband. Although all my life, men came after me, I actually went after him. Why? Because he was so genuinely nice and also kind of shy. So it was only going to happen if I pushed it a little. I'm glad I did because it turned out he was interested. I couldn't of asked for a better person to marry. You know I tend to be a little emotional sometimes. He's the exact opposite. But the main reason I was so attracted to him was because of how nice he was. I was ready for that. I needed that after being with an asshole who verbally abused me and made me feel like shit for so long. I needed someone nice. Why am I telling you this? Because you seem to be under the impression that all women want to date men who are "bad" guys or confident or standoffish or whatever. That's not necessarily true. Not every woman is like that. You are better off finding one who is and they are out there. A bad experience with one, doesn't mean you can't try again. Every woman is different. You can't just fit one style of dealing with them to every one or you will fail. Get to know someone first and try to find out who you are dealing with on a friend level. Then go from there. It's not that hard to tell if a woman is interested in you and if you can't, then she's probably not.